Thread: Dumb Russian Crimonals

Anyone know of any good TRUE stories about stupid criminals in Russia?
I love dumb criminal stories.
I do have one short one to start with.
I don't know if it's true, since it was told to me, and I never looked it up, but supposedly, some idiot in Russia tried to rob the Spetsnaz.

Like what, the Spetsnaz headquarters? A bit vague, innit?

I told it in all the detail that I herd it. I herd it in a conversation as a mention. You know as much about it as I.

Hmm.




Dumb Russian criminal story:
One time, I was on my way into the metro, and I felt a tugging at my messenger bag. So I look over and see that this guy has gotten his gloved hand stuck on the zipper, which was broken and had a few rather jagged teeth. He kinda tried to grin at me. So I punched him, yanked my bag away, releasing his hand, and he ran away. He slipped and fell in a mud puddle on the way up the stairs.

Heh.

I pity tha fool who tries to pickpocket me.

L, can i call you L ? =) The sad thing is, that guy is probly my future mob boss employer !

you can call me whatever you want. I sure hope he's not your employer. Anyone amateur enough to get suckerpunched by yours truly is in no position to lead a mafia ring

LOL. The thinking impaired.
Now, you know that it's because of people like that that we have these stupid warnings on product labels.

This story was retold so many times that eventually you don't know whether to believe it or not (most probably not, because Russian gangstas are not so stupid, but anyway).
The story is about two journalists who wanted to make some reports about mafia dealing with Russian street-markets. Mafia members offered cover (defence) for salesmen taking money for it; and it wasn't a free choice. The journalists took a camcorder (other sources say it was a digital camera) and came into the street-market. When they began to shoot the film (pictures) they were caught by the members of the mafia. They dragged them into a small old building to their boss. He ordered them to pull out the cassette (flash card) and give it to him. The journalists asked for not to do it because otherwise the stuff would be spoiled by the light. The boss said that it is exactly what he wanted and told them to pull out it again. They gave him the cassette (flash card), he put it under a bulb, hold a little, gave it them back and let them go.

@Tu-160: The day is starting with a laugh.

VendingMachine would have killed you.