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Thread: The 10 Commandments of Marriage

  1. #1
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    The 10 Commandments of Marriage

    Commandment 1.

    Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.

    Commandment 2.

    If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

    Commandment 3.

    Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!

    Commandment 4.

    Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.

    In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.

    In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.

    Commandment 5.

    When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing:

    Either the car is new or the wife is.

    Commandment 6.

    Marriage is when a man and woman become as one;

    The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

    Commandment 7.

    Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.

    After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

    Commandment 8.

    Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook.

    But the law allows only one wife.

    Commandment 9.

    Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry.

    That is why wife treats husband like toxic waste.

    Commandment 10.

    A man is incomplete until he is married.

    After that, he is finished..

    Bonus Commandment story.

    A long married couple came upon a wishing well.

    The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.

    The husband decided to make a wish too.

    But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled,

    "It really works!"
    this is not a test...

  2. #2
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    marriage...sheesh. i have yet to kiss a girl (im almost 17.5)

  3. #3
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    Wait...i am 17.6

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angel_of_Death-NZ
    marriage...sheesh. i have yet to kiss a girl (im almost 17.5)
    Haha! Don't worry man, I'm 22 and I've never kissed a girl either... being one myself en all...
    this is not a test...

  5. #5
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    - Honey, when we get married I'll share all your troubles and sorrows.
    - But I don't have any troubles and sorrows.
    - I said when we get married.

  6. #6
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    Marriage is not a word, it's a sentence.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Старик
    Marriage is not a word, it's a sentence.
    tiefsinnig
    blame Canada

  8. #8
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    Man asks God:
    - God, why did you make the woman so beautiful?
    God says:
    - So that you can love her.
    Man asks then:
    - But God, why did you make her so stupid?
    God:
    - So that she can love you...

    this is not a test...

  9. #9
    Новичок
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    Many people ignore the importance of marriage...

    i thinik having only one partner,sharing your life with only one special girl must really be cool!

  10. #10
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    Женщину узнаешь только в зале суда. Когда разводишься…
    Я танцую пьяный на столе нума нума е нума нума нума е
    Снова счастье улыбнулось мне нума нума е нума нума нума е

  11. #11
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    Man asks God:
    - God, why did you make the woman so beautiful?
    God says:
    - So that you can love her.
    Man asks then:
    - But God, why did you make her so stupid?
    God:
    - So that she can love you...
    Hey, whatever works ....


    yes, i am JUST JOKING

  12. #12
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    Love and eggs are best when they are fresh.
    this is not a test...

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