Nice try, but why so many mistakes with stresses, while the text is equipped with special stress marks?

Definitely you have to train preposition "В" -- it shouldn't last so long: "ввввээээ субботу"

- Ы/И are being used inconsistently, which is specific case of more global problem:
there is some mess with soft and hard consonants. To name a few:
их heard as ихь
были/жили/любил are heard as былы/жылы (жы is ok, лы is wrong)/любыл
на Арбате is heard as на Арбатэ
автОбусе is heard as автобЮсе

- видАла was heard where видЕла was expected

- Я sounds as pair of sounds: й-а, that is, й should be much shorter.

- Красавица is an important word: please sing along with Meladze:


Hope this helps