We adopted a 12 year old girl through Nightlight International Adoptions, Inc. of CA, in October 97. We had
heard good reports and were confident that all would go well since Nightlight seemed to have such a good track record and
informative psychological reports.
We have 3 other children adopted from other countries and are experienced parents. Due to where we lived at the time (outside US in a remote locale), we were clear about what we could and could NOT deal with post placement. No services, limited school resources, etc.
Despite very specific questions prior to picking up Inga, some crucial facts were NOT disclosed to us. We were shocked to
learn that she had been placed with 2 Russian families and brought back to the home. In addition, she could not read or write Russian (at the age of 12!). She was a smoker! AND, she was a habitual runner. She had a history of being picked up by the police and brought back to the home. Had we known any one of these facts prior to traveling, we would not have proceeded.
Inga was not appropriately prepared for us to pick her up, either. The workers feel that adoption is in the ``best interest'' of the child and apparently avoided the necessary emotional preparation for fear of tantrums or resistance from Inga.
To make a very long story short, our family was devastated and we struggled to make things work for almost a year. We traveled back to the states in the summer of '98 and placed Inga with another family willing to work with her. She went
through 6 families and 2 hospitalizations. All of these families were older, more experienced, and very successful at
parenting "difficult'' and "hard to place'' older children.
None of them could parent her. We researched all available resources in the US. We accessed family therapy, special education, post adoptive support groups, and a variety of specialists. We reached the lifetime limit on our health insurance coverage. We contacted the Russian judge in an attempt to dissolve the adoption. We pled with Nightlight to
take some responsibility.
We are currently trying to release our parental rights and make Inga a ward of the state so she can get the treatment she
needs which we cannot provide. We are truly emotionally, physically and financially depleted. This has been a tragic story for us, many other people, and most sadly, Inga.
Furthermore, Nightlight has been reluctant to admit ANY responsibility whatsoever for their neglect in accessing
pertinent, easily available information. Nightlight has even stated that they can't be responsible for families who are "not satisfied'' with the children they adopt. To be sure they have made other successful placements, but in our case they
were neglectful in obtaining very essential facts, and now, 2 years later, Inga is in a residential psychiatric treatment center with a diagnosis of "major depressive disorder, psychosis, and post traumatic stress syndrome.'' Their recommendation is 9 more months of residential treatment and then a group home.
Clearly, we would have avoided much of this heartache and tragedy if consumer protection laws pertaining to international
adoption had been in place. I would be happy to speak with you in more detail if you would like.
Sincerely,
Cilia J. Whatcott.
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How does a dissolving of adoption works? And she certainly could write in Russian, even if a bit sloppy.
Originally Posted by chaika 
