The handwriting of my friend from 5th grade.

Hey guys! I've been part of this forum for years and the yearbook message of an old friend of mine has brought me back to ask a favor from you all. The handwriting's a little rough and my limited Russian skillz are making it hard for me to read/translate the last line.

Here is a scan of the message:
http://img257.imageshack.us/img257/8187/yearbookxj1.png

If I'm not mistaken, the first line says, "For Sara Remen (my name)" And the second name is her first and last name. I'm just unable to really read the third line. It looks like "Любпу как ... пока."

It would really mean so much to me if someone could help me out here. Inga was one of my best friends in elementary school. She was adopted from Russia at age 12 and, despite the fact we couldn't understand each other, she was the toughest, funniest, and coolest person I'd ever met. In other words, we were the only girls in 5th grade who were die-hard fans of Metallica. Sadly, the family moved away a year later and I lost contact with her. After some Googling, I found that her family dissolved the adoption because of Inga's apparent aggression toward her siblings and parents. One of the things that the family claimed was that Inga was unable to read and write Russian at the age of 12. After finding her photo in my yearbook, I flipped to the back page and saw this message she wrote to me. From what I can tell, she wasn't illiterate at all.

Anyway, I just thought I'd tell you all a little bit about the story behind this image. Thanks so much for any help you can offer!

It says: "Для Серы* Ремен Инга Вот кот люблу* как систру* пока" ("For Sara Remen. Inga. Here's a cat (?). Love (you) like a sister. Bye").
*Correct spelling: Сары, люблю, сестру.

I'm not sure about "Вот кот" part. It doesn't make much sense. Could it be her last name (Воткот ~ Votkot)? Or maybe she refers to the drawing to the right?

PS. It's a very sad story. :( How does a dissolving of adoption works? And she certainly could write in Russian, even if a bit sloppy.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Воткот is the Russianized version of her adoptive name (Whatcott). I should have probably said that up there, sorry!

Her family fought with courts to make her a ward of the state so she could be institutionalized. Here's a letter written by Inga's adoptive mother to Congress:

Quote:

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We adopted a 12 year old girl through Nightlight International Adoptions, Inc. of CA, in October 97. We had
heard good reports and were confident that all would go well since Nightlight seemed to have such a good track record and
informative psychological reports.

We have 3 other children adopted from other countries and are experienced parents. Due to where we lived at the time (outside US in a remote locale), we were clear about what we could and could NOT deal with post placement. No services, limited school resources, etc.

Despite very specific questions prior to picking up Inga, some crucial facts were NOT disclosed to us. We were shocked to
learn that she had been placed with 2 Russian families and brought back to the home. In addition, she could not read or write Russian (at the age of 12!). She was a smoker! AND, she was a habitual runner. She had a history of being picked up by the police and brought back to the home. Had we known any one of these facts prior to traveling, we would not have proceeded.

Inga was not appropriately prepared for us to pick her up, either. The workers feel that adoption is in the ``best interest'' of the child and apparently avoided the necessary emotional preparation for fear of tantrums or resistance from Inga.
To make a very long story short, our family was devastated and we struggled to make things work for almost a year. We traveled back to the states in the summer of '98 and placed Inga with another family willing to work with her. She went
through 6 families and 2 hospitalizations. All of these families were older, more experienced, and very successful at
parenting "difficult'' and "hard to place'' older children.

None of them could parent her. We researched all available resources in the US. We accessed family therapy, special education, post adoptive support groups, and a variety of specialists. We reached the lifetime limit on our health insurance coverage. We contacted the Russian judge in an attempt to dissolve the adoption. We pled with Nightlight to
take some responsibility.

We are currently trying to release our parental rights and make Inga a ward of the state so she can get the treatment she
needs which we cannot provide. We are truly emotionally, physically and financially depleted. This has been a tragic story for us, many other people, and most sadly, Inga.

Furthermore, Nightlight has been reluctant to admit ANY responsibility whatsoever for their neglect in accessing
pertinent, easily available information. Nightlight has even stated that they can't be responsible for families who are "not satisfied'' with the children they adopt. To be sure they have made other successful placements, but in our case they
were neglectful in obtaining very essential facts, and now, 2 years later, Inga is in a residential psychiatric treatment center with a diagnosis of "major depressive disorder, psychosis, and post traumatic stress syndrome.'' Their recommendation is 9 more months of residential treatment and then a group home.

Clearly, we would have avoided much of this heartache and tragedy if consumer protection laws pertaining to international
adoption had been in place. I would be happy to speak with you in more detail if you would like.

Sincerely,
Cilia J. Whatcott.

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Anna, I don't think this kind of private letter is appropriate for posting on a pubic forum.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by chaika

Anna, I don't think this kind of private letter is appropriate for posting on a pubic forum.

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It is not a private letter, it's a letter to Congress. It's supposed to be read by a load of different people and officials.
Anyway, such people like that woman should be banned from adopting children. I know the House children can be a real pain in the ass, but these "parents" should have thought about it before they started that mess. And they obviously didn't make an effort to know a child they adopted (or were intentionally spewing lies, which is even worse), and then they just throw a child away because she's bot a little angel they "ordered". No wonder the kid ended up depressed and angry.

I have no idea who the letter was written to. Ordinarily we write a letter to our Senator or Congressman, or possibly both. This does not mean to the entire Congress or to the public at large. What we have here is one side of a story but not the other. Who knows how much of it is true?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by chaika

I have no idea who the letter was written to. Ordinarily we write a letter to our Senator or Congressman, or possibly both. This does not mean to the entire Congress or to the public at large. What we have here is one side of a story but not the other. Who knows how much of it is true?

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I agree, the story is one-sided. BUT that phrase - "In addition, she could not read or write Russian (at the age of 12!)" - is definitely a lie, and it makes me question everything else. The whole whiny tone of the letter tells me "took this child away, we wanted a kid to parade around, not a real person". And the part about "6 families and 2 hospitalizations" is CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY. Really.

The letter was read in a transcript of a Congressional hearing, which are freely available to the public on the internet. I don't see how posting public material on this forum is inappropriate. I figured that, rather than paraphrasing it, I'd just post what she wrote firsthand. Of course there are two sides to any story. There always are.

Anyhow, I actually heard from Inga's adoptive mother today and I don't wish for anyone to hold a grudge against her. After Inga became a ward of the state, her mom continued to keep in close contact with and and still does to this day. She visits her from halfway across the country, sends her money, buys her gifts, etc. She still loves her very much. Right now, Inga's in a group home (at age 23). She no longer speaks Russian and her English is heavily-accented, but her comprehension is apparently normal. I'm pretty excited, since I have her address and the phone number of the home. I was completely unexpecting to ever know what happened to her.

She's doing a lot better and I'm glad that someone is watching out for her. I honestly half-expected that when she no longer was a ward of the state that they just let her loose. That didn't happen and I'm really grateful she's still getting medical help.

Thanks again, gRomoZeka. :)

Sorry if I was a bit rash. Didn't want to offend anybody. :wink:

Anna, I didn't know that it was open, public information. Google shows the letter only on masterrussian. You have the link?

This all sounds like a some big scam where Inga's gonna get taken away and you're gonna try to get everybody to give you money.

strong pessimism in this one

Quote:

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Originally Posted by xRoosterx

This all sounds like a some big scam where Inga's gonna get taken away and you're gonna try to get everybody to give you money.

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GUYS. INGA GOT TAKEN AWAY AND I NEED $20. Please, I'm the princess of a very wealthy nation and I will repay your loan tenfold. [/sarcasm]

Quote:

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Originally Posted by chaika

Anna, I didn't know that it was open, public information. Google shows the letter only on masterrussian. You have the link?

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http://bulk.resource.org/gpo.gov/hearin ... /60674.txt

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Anna

Quote:

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Originally Posted by xRoosterx

This all sounds like a some big scam where Inga's gonna get taken away and you're gonna try to get everybody to give you money.

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GUYS. INGA GOT TAKEN AWAY AND I NEED $20. Please, I'm the princess of a very wealthy nation and I will repay your loan tenfold. [/sarcasm]

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I'm convinced.