Thread: Rude Chinese Tourists - news story

Originally Posted by Lampada

Хотя все, включая евреев, любили еврея Jackie Mason, когда он насмехался над всеми подряд.

A few classic jokes on the theme of "Yid stereotypes vs. Goy stereotypes" (the first one is rather innocent, but the other two aren't necessarily in the best of taste)...

* * *
A Gentile man phones his mother: "Mom, I know I promised you last week that I'd come to your house for dinner tonight, but it turns out that a girl from the office who I'm interested in is free this evening, and I'd really like to get together with her instead."

"OK, dear, have a nice time!" says his mother.

* * *
Two elderly Jews, Moishe and Abram, are out for a drive when they see a church with a sign that says: "Accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior today and win a free Visa debit card worth $100!!"

So Moishe says to Abram, "why don't you go in and pretend you want to convert to Christianity -- it won't mean anything, you'll still be a Jew, but we'll get the $100 and then we'll go to the movies or something!"

Abram says "Okay, why not?" and goes into the church.

Two hours go by, and Moishe is getting pretty bored waiting in the car. Finally, Abram comes out of the church, gets in the car silently, and they drive off.

Moishe says, "Well, did you get the hundred bucks?"

Abram says, "Don't you people ever think about anything but money?!?"

* * *
A Roman Catholic priest and a Jewish rabbi are waiting for the bus on a hot summer afternoon when they see this very handsome teenage guy, only about 16 but obviously an athlete, jogging by in extremely tight shorts and no shirt.

The priest gets all excited and whispers, "Wow, I'd sure like to screw that kid!"

The rabbi says, "Screw him out of what?"

* * *

Я почему-то не поняла первую шутку.

А punchline во второй шутке в русском варианте звучала: "Остань от меня, жидовская морда!"

Originally Posted by Lampada

Я почему-то не поняла первую шутку.

А punchline во второй шутке в русском варианте звучала: "Остань от меня, жидовская морда!"

Я тоже первую не поняла))

Ребят, ребят вы забыли про русских туристов))

Originally Posted by Deborski

Я тоже первую не поняла))

Anyone here even get the first one? I spent a lot of time going through it dozens of times, but it just sounds to me like a normal conversation... Throbert, what was meant to be the tag line? =))

In the way of rudeness and abuse our Russian scum can beat them Chinese guys any day of the week.
Быдло в Турции. Пьяный русский турист в Турции. - YouTube

Maybe I should change the title of this post to simply "rude tourists from every country"

DANG, Man About Town, this is funny LOL

"Говно is bad. BAD is гов-НО!
Вот ты блять дурак, я знаю!
It's not right, блять...
Allah Akhbar!!
100 percent долларов please..."

Originally Posted by Eric C.

Anyone here even get the first one? I spent a lot of time going through it dozens of times, but it just sounds to me like a normal conversation... Throbert, what was meant to be the tag line? =))

Heh-heh... I wondered if this joke would "translate". You need to understand that in Anglo-American humor, it's a stereotype that Jewish mothers are experts at making their children feel guilty. Thus, if the first joke were told about a Jewish man and his mother, it would go like this:

A Jewish man phones his mother: "Mom, I know I promised you last week that I'd come to your house for dinner tonight, but it turns out that a girl from the office who I'm interested in is free this evening, and I'd really like to get together with her instead."

A long silence follows.

"I hope you don't mind, Mom," says the Jewish man.

"Mind? Of course I don't mind, darling! Why on earth should it bother me if my first and only son, the son I carried in my womb, the son I gave birth to after fifty-six hours of excruciatingly painful labor, would rather go out with a girl than visit his poor widowed mother?"

"Mom, now that I think about it, I could go out with the girl some other night..."

"Don't be silly, darling! You go out and have your fun with your blonde shiksa floozy from the office -- I'll just sit here alone, slowly growing a brain tumor. But don't worry about me, I'm used to being alone since your father died, God rest his soul. It's a shame that your favorite beef brisket and noodle kugel will go to waste after I spent 17 hours slaving over a hot stove, but I could always give it away to the poor, I suppose..."

[etc.]


In other words, the joke about a "Gentile man and his mother" is REALLY a "Jewish mother" joke turned upside down.

A much shorter joke on the same theme:

Q. How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. [с еврейским акцентом] "Don't worry about me," --sigh -- "I'll just sit here in the dark while you go out and have fun..."

Apparently this stereotype about Jewish moms belongs specifically to Anglo-American culture, and isn't part of the "Одесские анекдоты" genre?

P.S. There are, by the way, other jokes that appear to be about "Gentiles" (неевреи) but are, in fact, jokes told by евреи about themselves, playing with familiar Jewish stereotypes. For instance:

A Gentile couple goes to a nice restaurant. The man says: “I’ll have the steak and a baked potato, and my wife will have the chicken breast with green salad. We’ll both have coffee.” The waiter asks, “How would you like your steak and salad prepared?” The man says, “I’d like the steak medium-rare... and my wife will have Italian dressing on the salad.” The waiter says, “Thank you.”

The joke here is that in Jewish vaudeville-style comedy, one would normally expect "Abraham and Sarah" to endlessly kvetch (придираться) about the quality of the steak, the freshness of the salad greens, and whether it's better to wrap potatoes in aluminum foil before baking them, and Sarah would remind Abraham about his cholesterol level and gallstones, etc. But Gentiles just order their meal without any fuss -- and thus without any comedy. (So there's also a joke that "Jews may be neurotic, but at least they're less boring than the Gentiles...")

The funny thing here is, now that I see this explanation, I can say I "got" the first one there exactly right on the start (the mom bringing a sense of guilt on her son), but it just wasn't funny to me (which was why I didn't mention it in the first place), I mean it might be a cool psychological thing, but nothing I would laugh or even smile at =) Apparently, I have a weird sense of humor

Ещё вариант о стереотипе, что у еврейских матерей есть какая-то свойственная способность вызывать чувства вины и стыда у своих детей (please correct my Russian!):

Американский сатирик Джон Стюарт шутливо заметил: "Зря некоторые христиане стремятся обратить евреев в христианство, ведь у нас евреев уже есть свой «Новый Завет» -- он называется «Portnoy's Complaint»!!"

American satirist Jon Stewart quipped, "Some Christians try to convert Jews to Christianity, but what's the point? We Jews already have our own 'New Testament'; it's called 'Portnoy's Complaint'!!"

(The 1969 novel by Philip Roth has sometimes been called "a Jewish-mother joke that runs to almost 300 pages" -- although "masturbatory guilt" is also a central theme in the book.)

I have also noticed a distinct rudeness or perhaps a supremacist attitude from Chinese tourists now. They appear to be very selfish people. It was not like this a few years back so I am certain that this is not a cultural difference. This is a new careless and callous attitude they have developed towards Westerners.
Personally, I can see a future need appearing, to "pop" them back into place.

Originally Posted by DDT

Personally, I can see a future need appearing, to "pop" them back into place.

Pop them back into "place".....? And exactly how would you propose that be done....?

Originally Posted by DDT

This is a new careless and callous attitude they have developed towards Westerners.

Not necessarily "new". Terms such as "ghost/devil" (gwailo or gwaizi, depending on the dialect of Chinese) have been used for centuries in reference to foreigners -- especially white Westerners.