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Wow! That's great.

Seeing the video along with the text I realize that you have chosen the appropriate sentences. The only issue I see is the word "атаковать" I would change it to "нанести удар",...

Ok, if I catch your idea correctly.
In my version the killer character becomes a hero (the narrator is disembodied third person and refers to the audience using "you" and audience identify...

These sentences as of first person in Russian really look silly a little bit. But if we turn this talk as of second person this looks not bad. Even more in this case the viewer can identify himself...