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No way, you girls age too fast for me, I would have to shag young teens, but that's illegal so they would arrest me. I doubt their serve my favourite type of Danish muesli in your jails, so I think I...

Once a shift? Jasus, sweet virgin Marry and St Patrick, you mean you deliver one baby and go straight onto delivering another one without even giving your mitts a casual rinse?
Do you recycle your...

Wha' you some sort of midwife or something? You'll want to remember to wash those manky hands before you eat anything...

I'm green with envy, JB, apparently you feed your face far more chow mein than I feed mine.... It's not fair, I want chicken chow mein, I want pork chow mein, I want fish chow mein, I want chocolate...

Sure, home made food is traditional by default. Like people nowadays ken their way about the kitchen. Like people eat food these days. Fodder, fodder's the word. And the fact that it's been made at...

I asked my neigbour, a truck driver, what he thought about immigrants. Bring'em on he said brandishing a wrench. I don't think this country needs immigrants - this country needs organic food,...