The whole idea of affirmative action doesn't sit well with me, because it shouldn't be needed. So I don't think anyone should have "special privileges" for their sexuality, or for any reason other than their own merit.
The problem with people being "intolerant to gay publicity", as you put it, is that more often than not what this really translates into is that when they a straight couple kissing intensely on TV, they're perfectly fine with their kids watching it, and yet they see a gay couple doing so much as holding hands and they're suddenly "morally outraged". The other thing is how immensely paranoid some people can be - there are even some people who believe in some sort of a "homosexual agenda" where gay people are trying to turn us all into homos, which is plainly absurd.
It genuinely boggles my mind how people can have any reaction other than "oh, OK then" to someone else's sexuality. The only time someone else's sexuality would bother me is if it was a girl I was interested in and she turned out to be a lesbian. (In which case I would say "whew! lucky escape there!" because all women are evil. But we'll leave that story for another time)