Pretty good, but you have a noticeable accent. I missed a couple of words when I closed my eyes, but mostly could follow along, although it seemed harder to do that than usual for me. Lots of minor mispronunciations, but they all add up.

Correction would be difficult, because we'd have to go through the text almost word by word or phrase by phrase. It sounds like you have your phonetics down pretty well, but I think you need close supervision of a native speaker to correct the small errors. For example, one is that the word "months" does not have the phoneme /o/ in it, the vowel is closer to schwa. I do notice that you are speaking the British version (I am American).