If you are a beginner, then it's fine for a beginner. I've addressed certain issues in other threads. But some specifics:

Watch your O. If it's unstressed it is pronounced like an A.

Нормально - narmal'na

Aлло is pronounced Аллё

Здраствуй - You didn't pronounce the Д
Как дела - Stress is on the last A. The E is all wrong as well.
Билеты - Stress on the E
Концерт - Stress is on the E. Also you are saying Конциерт.
Пойти - the ти is pronounced perfectly.... if it were Ukrainian. The T should be soft (palatised). The И sounds too much like an Ы.
Четверг - You inserted another vowel between Р and Г that shouldn't be there
Заниматься - The ending -ться or -тся is pronounced -ца
Пятницу - The stress is on the first sylable