Thread: Need your help

Hi!

I have to write the oficial letter for several companies and need your help in translating it in English.

The first problem I have met is the greetings.
How would you say от лица компании, от имени нашей фирмы?

I doubt I know the true writting, here is my try:

Dear ladies and gentlemen!
We are glad to greet you from the name of our firm???

I think my version doesn't work

please help me!

I think that it will depend on the particular circumstances that you are writing the letter. Can you give facts about what the letter is meant to accomplish?

от лица компании
I think it would be ......"On behalf of our company"

You are simply a magician, DDT! On behalf works great!
I'll post the whole letter here after a while and hope for your further help very much!



Thank you a great!

Here is a full text of my official letter. I hope it won't make you laugh or cry. Please help me to make it closer to the English manner.

"Dear ladies and gentlemen!

We are glad to greet you on behalf of Preciosa firm - the official sponsor of the 11th International Women’s Club “Embassies of the World” Dinner and Ball, arranged at February 16th 2007 in Moscow.

We would like to present to you a range of trophies and awards – the projects, which had been devised and brought to life during the last several years by designers and technologists of Preciosa firm. The list of our customers and clients contains such famous companies like AVON and SKODA. Crystal statuettes made by Preciosa became the main awards for the winners of the great competitions Miss USA, Miss Teen USA and Miss Universe in 2004-2005.
The possessors (owners) of the prizes, produced by our firm, had become the leaders of business and sport, personalities of culture and arts, large international organizations (societies), as well as the administration of the president of Czech Republic.

The work of the best team of designers both with the unique equipment Preciosa let us embody the projects, showed in the following presentation, and many other. These exclusive awards, its form and quantity had been specially devised in accordance with the ideas of our customers. The Crystal prize Preciosa is a unique and precious gift. The trophy or figurine with your company’s logo, with a memorable signature, motto or device will become a wonderful present for you, your partners in business or co-workers. The prizes from Preciosa are the best gifts, commemorating important events, business meetings, anniversaries and fests, competitions and contests. Such a gift will be very appreciated by anyone whom you will present it.

With regards
John Smith
the official Preciosa agent
Moscow"


Thank you!

Originally Posted by Leof

Here is a full text of my official letter. I hope it won't make you laugh or cry. Please help me to make it closer to the English manner.

"Dear ladies and gentlemen!

We are glad to greet you on behalf of the Preciosa company - the official sponsor of the 11th dinner and ball held up by the International Women’s Club “Embassies of the World” on February 16th 2007 in Moscow.

We would like to present to you a range of trophies and awards – the projects which had been developed and brought to life during the last several years by designers and technologists of the Preciosa company. The list of our customers and clients includes such famous companies as AVON and SKODA. Crystal statuettes made by Preciosa were the main awards for the winners of the great competitions Miss USA, Miss Teen USA and Miss Universe in 2004-2005.
The owners of our prizes, are the leaders in business and sport, named persons of culture and arts, large international organizations, and also the administration of the president of Czech Republic.

The work of our best designer team as well as the unique equipment lets us embody the projects, shown at that presentation and at many others *Not sure about this one*. These exclusive awards, their forms and quantity were specially designed to meet the ideas of our customers. The Preciosa's Crystal prize is a unique and precious gift. A trophy or figurine with your company’s logo bearing a memorable signature, motto or slogan will truly be a wonderful present for you, your partners in business or co-workers. Preciosa's prizes are the best gifts, commemorating important events, business meetings, anniversaries, feasts, competitions and contests. Such a gift will be very appreciated by anyone you present it with.

Well, I'm not even sure if I got you right. I'm not an English speaker, just trying to be helpful. I hope I didn't make any more mistakes than you did though

I hope too you didn't, but thank you very much for your effort - I really appreciate your kind endeavor! It seems to me you smoothed the worst errors.

Although does any native speaker want to make their contribution?

А как по-русски название фирмы читается?

название читается Прециоса. Большинство же произносит Прециоза.

Originally Posted by Leof

название читается Прециоса. Большинство же произносит Прециоза.

Англоговорящий прочитает Прешайоса или Прежайоса

Pretsiosa более точно будет. &)

Названию уже почти 60 лет, придумали его чехи, образовали его не от английского, а от латинского корня, поэтому мне уже ничего не остаётся, как писать PRECIOSA.

Рамиль, the перед designers зря предлагаешь.

Запятую в projects, which нужно выкинуть.

Написал бы подробнее , но сейчас некогда.

Поправил, я на пунктуацию не смотрел даже.

Here's how I would do it. The first sentence of your last paragraph was very confusing to me, so I tried my best. Tell me if you have any questions about my changes.

"Dear ladies and gentlemen,

We are glad to greet you on behalf of Preciosa (we don't use "firm" or "company" unless that is part of the official name of the company--even then it is common to just use a simplified name: "On behalf of Ford . . .") - the official sponsor of the 11th International Women’s Club “Embassies of the World” Dinner and Ball, scheduled for February 16th 2007 in Moscow. (there are a few ways to say this last part, but "held up" means to rob a bank )

We would like to display ("present" is ambiguous here. It can means "show" but it can also mean "give"--since you are talking about awards, it is better to be clear about this) to you a range of trophies and awards: the projects devised and brought to life over the last several years by designers and technicians of Preciosa. Our list of customers and clients contains such famous companies as ("such" always goes with "as" in this kind of expression) AVON and SKODA. Crystal statuettes made by Preciosa were the main awards for the winners of the Miss USA, Miss Teen USA and Miss Universe competitions in 2004-2005.
The recipients of the prizes, produced by our firm, have ("had" means they are no longer doing any of these things) gone on to become leaders in business and sport, culture and arts, large international organizations, and even the administration of the president of Czech Republic.

The presentation which follows will show the some of the work of our best designers using our unique equipment (or "technology") (not really sure what you meant here). These exclusive awards have been custom designed to meet the forms and quantities desired by our customers. The Preciosa Crystal Prize is a unique and precious gift. The trophy or figurine with your company’s logo, autographs, motto or design will be a wonderful keepsake for you, your partners in business or co-workers. Prizes from Preciosa are exquisite gifts commemorating important events, business meetings, anniversaries and festivities, competitions and contests. Such a gift will undoubtedly be greatly appreciated by anyone to whom it is presented.

With regards
John Smith
official Preciosa agent
Moscow"

Thank you very much for your help paulb!!
And as you suggested I have some questions.

Wouldn't the word scheduled meant that the ball and the dinner had not been happened yet?

The word display - the presentation is being sent by e-mail, so would that word be quite exact?

The recipients of the prizes, produced by our firm, have gone on to become - I'm afraid I haven't express my precise idea in that phrase. I meant There are the leaders of business and sport...among the recipients of the prizes, produced by our firm. How would you say this?

The presentation which follows will show the some of the work - should I write the twice? Mustn't it be only one the before work?

Do you usually write President or president?

The work of the best team of designers both with the unique equipment Preciosa let us embody the projects, showed in the following presentation, and many other. - I tried to say both that we have the best team of designers and unique equipment and that it plays a key-role in the producing (production?) of our statuettes.


These exclusive awards have been custom designed to meet the forms and quantities desired by our customers. - will that phrase lose much if I take the word custom away?

The Preciosa Crystal Prize - mustn't I write crystal prize there?

The rest seem perfect!
Many thanks for your help!

Originally Posted by Leof

Thank you very much for your help paulb!!
And as you suggested I have some questions.

Wouldn't the word scheduled meant that the ball and the dinner had not been happened yet?

Yes. Sorry, I wasn't paying close attention to the date. I thought it was about something in the future. Instead of "scheduled", simply write "which took place".

The word display - the presentation is being sent by e-mail, so would that word be quite exact?

Again, sorry. I didn't quite understand the context. "Show" is the simplest verb to use here. It's not very fancy, but it will keep you from getting in trouble You could also mention that there is an attachment to the email if that is how you ar doing it.

The recipients of the prizes, produced by our firm, have gone on to become - I'm afraid I haven't express my precise idea in that phrase. I meant There are the leaders of business and sport...among the recipients of the prizes, produced by our firm. How would you say this?

Say, "Among the past recipients of the prizes produced by our firm
are leaders in businees and sport, etc. . . "

The presentation which follows will show the some of the work - should I write the twice? Mustn't it be only one the before work? no--my mistake. " . . . will show some of the work . . ." is correct.

Do you usually write President or president? Use capital P only for a head of state, not for the head of a company.

The work of the best team of designers both with the unique equipment Preciosa let us embody the projects, showed in the following presentation, and many other. - I tried to say both that we have the best team of designers and unique equipment and that it plays a key-role in the producing (production?) of our statuettes.

Ok. You can't say "both" because you are talking about two different kinds of things. It is tricky trying to put those two ideas into one sentence in English. You might say, "Our designers (or product designers, or design staff) are some of the top people in their field in the world and they have brought all their expertise to the production of these (or our) statuettes.


These exclusive awards have been custom designed to meet the forms and quantities desired by our customers. - will that phrase lose much if I take the word custom away?

"Custom designed" means designed for one particular customer or purpose. It is a common business term. Using that term draws attention to the unique nature of each item. You can take away "custom" and it will sound more general. Either is ok.
The Preciosa Crystal Prize - mustn't I write crystal prize there?

If this the name of a special prize then it is in capital letters. If it just refers to any prize produced by Preciosa, then use the indefinate article: A Preciosa crystal prize . . ., or, A crystal prize from Preciosa . . .

The rest seem perfect!
Many thanks for your help!

I think that should make things clearer. I'll be happy to answer any more questions if you have them.

I get paid for doing this kind of thing at work. Maybe you need to send ME a prize

We CAN help you with Russian

Originally Posted by Leof

We are glad to greet you on behalf of Preciosa firm - the official sponsor of the 11th International Women’s Club “Embassies of the World” Dinner and Ball, arranged at February 16th 2007 in Moscow.

No official business letter in the US would start with "We are glad to greet you." It sounds as if a foreigner wrote it. I would rewrite it like this:

Greetings from Preciosa - the official sponsor of the 11th International “Embassies of the World” Dinner and Ball, to be held on February 16th 2007 in Moscow by The Women’s Club.

Originally Posted by doninphxaz

Originally Posted by Leof

We are glad to greet you on behalf of Preciosa firm - the official sponsor of the 11th International Women’s Club “Embassies of the World” Dinner and Ball, arranged at February 16th 2007 in Moscow.

No official business letter in the US would start with "We are glad to greet you." It sounds as if a foreigner wrote it. I would rewrite it like this:

Greetings from Preciosa - the official sponsor of the 11th International “Embassies of the World” Dinner and Ball, to be held on February 16th 2007 in Moscow by The Women’s Club.

You might notice, though, that February 16th has already occurred.

Лев живёт прошлым.

Originally Posted by Rtyom

Лев живёт прошлым.

I'm guessing that means that Leof lives in the past.