Hi everybody!

I study English and I'm trying to talk now. I translated russian anecdotes. It's my first dialogs in English. Can you understand it? Please correct me. If you have any advices how talk in English well, please e-mail me. I also expect your feedback here or at http://remonortsa.livejournal.com.

Thanks. Заходите на огонёк.

Teacher - (T)
Student - (S)
1.
It's exam. Students gets a bad grade. The teacher says:
(T): It's the third time. Why you don't try to study better? Nobody was died of the study?
(S): I know. But I'd rather have no risk.

2.
Teacher reads the student's termpaper.
T: Your work is bad! Every stupid must understand it. Your paper is different.
S: What exactly you can't understand, professor?

3.
It's english exam. Student went out the classroom. Other students talk to him.
(O.S.): How is it going?
(S): Very well.
(O.S.): What the teacher asked you?
(S): I don't know. He asked me in English.

4.
It's exam. Student(girl) is very afraid. Teacher asks her.
(T): Why you are afraid? Are you afraid my questions?
(S): No... I'm afraid my answers.

5.
It's economical exam. Student(girl) tells about Adam Smith, but she never call him by name. Teacher asks:
- How was called Smith?
- Silence...
Teacher want to help her.
- Well, how was called the first man (in the Earth - Adam)
- (Student (girl) turns red and says quiet ) Valera...

6.
The freshman come back to home. Parents ask him.
- How was you first exam? Did you passed it?
- No. The teacher was very religious. He said after every my answer: "Ohh... my God!

7.
- Victor! Hi! How is it going?
- I left the university.
- Please, don't cry. (don't worry about it) Soldiers are not crying.

8.
Why theachers really enjoying, when somebody from the audience asks him?
Because they like, when he can't understand the lesson too.

9.
It's exam. Theacher asks student.
- What's your name?
Student is very glad. He answer:
- Ivan
- Why you are enjoying?
- I'm glad that I answered on your question. (I had been answered on your question?)

10.
I'm talking to you.
Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels are not husband and wife. It's four different man!