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Thread: Please, help me.

  1. #1
    kib
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    Please, help me.

    Hi everyone and happy New Year!

    Could I ask you to check a text of mine please. This is one of so-called темы (themes) that I should prepare for my English exam. I'm pretty sure that there's a lot of mistakes, and it would be very nice of you, and I would appreciate it very much, if you show me all my mistakes. You may correct mistakes of any kind - stylistic mistakes, punctuation mistakes (actually, I know nothing about English punctuation) or anything else.
    Thanks in advance.

    Suggest some ways to relax

    People are said to be leading very stressful lives nowadays. Probably, That's true - life has become so complicated, so diverse that much more the problems come out that people have to face, to solve than ever. It's like being very rich - you have a more chance of being robbed than an average person. Some people can't bear it any more, they give in, and their health and even their lives are in danger, because we know, what a stress can lead to. But I think you agree with me that people don't put up with it - they fight with it; why do you think psychologists of any kind are becoming more and more needed, why do you think there is a great lot of humorous programmes and entertainments? That is very wise of humanity to use them against stress, and popularity of the things proves that they are of good use.
    Now, about my suggestions of relaxing. Imagine that you are depressed; you are always at home , you don't communicate with your friends or anyone, you sleep much and watch TV all the time. That's an extreme, but exactly what we need. The obvious and general idea of what to do in such a situation: to stop doing all the things and to begin to do their opposites! And the more things you will do, the better. The first concrete suggestion of mine is connected with what I've said above: laugh. It's a very well-known thing that laugh makes you relax, and not only - it's also healthy in some different ways. So, entertain youself with something amusing, funny; for example, go to any show, to the cinema to watch a comedy or to amusement park. My second concrete suggestion is closely assosiated with the previous one: entertain yourself with something interesting, something that you like to do very much; the pleasure we get doing what we like also cures us from depression. The next what I suggest is doing something exiting or maybe even danderous, that would bring serotonin or adrenalin and thus would impress you. You may travel to a peculiar country or a place, or have a try at scuba diving, or jump with a parachute, or swim in a ice-hole. I think, you imagine very well, that while doing things of that kind you just can't be depressed, and after you do them, you won't have even an idea of being depressed anymore. My last suggestion is about exercises. A sound mind in a sound body. Who doubts that? Noone does, because that is the real truth. People need motion - motion is energy, energy is health, health is life. If you are depressed, you lack for life, so you need to work on the basic thing: motion. I think, any kind of exercise would do you good, if you are depressed: it could be morning exercises, or yoga, or one of outdoor games, or something else.
    The five suggestions don't of course include everything with what you can fight against depression; everyone can find their own way out from it, if they only think about it rightly. I suppose, my suggestions are universal, so they will do for anyone and will defenitely help anyone. We are not not made for being in depression - we must enjoy life to the full, be full of beans and be happy. It's better to do a lot of things and the more the better, but the main thing is to do what exactly you enjoy, and you'll never be depressed, even a little bit.
    Я изучаю английский язык и поэтому делаю много ошибок. Но я не прошу Вас исправлять их, Вы можете просто ткнуть меня носом в них, или, точнее, пихнуть их мне в глаза. I'm studying English, and that's why I make a lot of mistakes. But I do not ask you to correct them, you may just stick my nose into them or more exactly stick them into my eyes.
    Всё, что не делается, не всегда делается к лучшему
    Но так же не всегда всё, что не делается, не делается не к худшему. : D

  2. #2
    kib
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    One more thing.
    There was nothing to do but leave. I'm curious to know: what член предложения (subject, object and so on) is leave here?
    Я изучаю английский язык и поэтому делаю много ошибок. Но я не прошу Вас исправлять их, Вы можете просто ткнуть меня носом в них, или, точнее, пихнуть их мне в глаза. I'm studying English, and that's why I make a lot of mistakes. But I do not ask you to correct them, you may just stick my nose into them or more exactly stick them into my eyes.
    Всё, что не делается, не всегда делается к лучшему
    Но так же не всегда всё, что не делается, не делается не к худшему. : D

  3. #3
    Старший оракул Seraph's Avatar
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    Hi, kib. USE SHORT SENTENCES! Keep this upper-most in mind. It really works. It is very useful to prevent mistakes. It makes compositions much more comprehensible and easy to read.

    Your first paragraph:

    People are said to be leading very stressful lives nowadays. Probably, That's true - life has become so complicated, so diverse that much more the problems come out that people have to face, to solve than ever. It's like being very rich - you have a more chance of being robbed than an average person. Some people can't bear it any more, they give in, and their health and even their lives are in danger, because we know, what a stress can lead to. But I think you agree with me that people don't put up with it - they fight with it; why do you think psychologists of any kind are becoming more and more needed, why do you think there is a great lot of humorous programmes and entertainments? That is very wise of humanity to use them against stress, and popularity of the things proves that they are of good use.

    A simple edit job, to make shorter sentences:

    People are said to be leading very stressful lives nowadays. Probably, that's true. Life has become very complicated. This diversity means many more problems arise that people have to face and solve than ever before. It's like being very rich. You have more chance of being robbed than an average person. Some people can't bear it any more. They give in. Their health and even their lives are in danger. We know this because of what stress can lead to. Perhaps you would agree with me that people don't put up with it. They fight with it. Why do you think psychologists of all kinds are becoming more and more needed? Why do you think there are so many humorous programmes and entertainments? It is very wise of humanity to use them against stress. The popularity of these things proves that they are of good use.

    I have tried to edit structure and a few wordings, not sense, nor ideas, nor other style points.


    "One more thing.
    There was nothing to do but leave. I'm curious to know: what член предложения (subject, object and so on) is leave here?" 'Leave' is a verb in that sentence.

  4. #4
    Старший оракул Seraph's Avatar
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    And some more.

    Taking this:

    Now, about my suggestions of relaxing. Imagine that you are depressed; you are always at home , you don't communicate with your friends or anyone, you sleep much and watch TV all the time. That's an extreme, but exactly what we need. The obvious and general idea of what to do in such a situation: to stop doing all the things and to begin to do their opposites! And the more things you will do, the better. The first concrete suggestion of mine is connected with what I've said above: laugh. It's a very well-known thing that laugh makes you relax, and not only - it's also healthy in some different ways. So, entertain youself with something amusing, funny; for example, go to any show, to the cinema to watch a comedy or to amusement park. My second concrete suggestion is closely assosiated with the previous one: entertain yourself with something interesting, something that you like to do very much; the pleasure we get doing what we like also cures us from depression.


    Edited to make some shorter sentences and some re-wordings:

    Now, here are some of my suggestions for relaxing. Imagine that you are depressed. You are always at home. You don't communicate with your friends anymore or anyone else. You sleep too much and watch TV all the time. That's an extreme, but exactly what we have in mind. The obvious and general idea of what to do in such a situation is to stop doing all those things. Begin to do their opposites! And the more things you start to do, the better. The first concrete suggestion of mine is connected with what I've said above: laugh. It's a very well-known thing that laughing makes you relax. Not only that, it's also healthy in different ways. So, entertain yourself with something amusing. For example, go to any show. Go to the cinema to watch a comedy. Go to an amusement park.
    My second concrete suggestion is closely associated with the previous one. Entertain yourself with something interesting, something that you like to do very much. The pleasure we get doing what we like also cures us from depression.

  5. #5
    kib
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    Hi, Seraph! Thank you a lot for your corrections. They are very helpful.
    Quote Originally Posted by Seraph View Post
    'Leave' is a verb in that sentence.
    No, no. You say about parts of speech (части речи), don't you? Члены предложения are about functions. These are subject, predicat, object, adverbial modifier and attribute. Maybe something else.
    Я изучаю английский язык и поэтому делаю много ошибок. Но я не прошу Вас исправлять их, Вы можете просто ткнуть меня носом в них, или, точнее, пихнуть их мне в глаза. I'm studying English, and that's why I make a lot of mistakes. But I do not ask you to correct them, you may just stick my nose into them or more exactly stick them into my eyes.
    Всё, что не делается, не всегда делается к лучшему
    Но так же не всегда всё, что не делается, не делается не к худшему. : D

  6. #6
    Старший оракул Seraph's Avatar
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    Oh. It isn't obvious to me.

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