Thread: Oxymorons

Originally Posted by http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxymoron

An oxymoron (plural oxymorons, or sometimes the Greek plural oxymora) (from Greek ὀξύμωρον, "sharp dull") is a figure of speech that combines normally contradictory terms. They appear in a variety of contexts, including inadvertent errors such as extremely average, deliberate puns like same difference, and literary oxymorons that have been crafted to reveal a paradox.

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

10. Why are they called " stands" when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

19. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

20. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

21. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

22. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

23. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

24. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

25. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

Dear Rockzmom, I know you have good sence of humor and wouldn't be offended. Many Russians thinks that the best example of an oxymoron is "American democracy".
Sorry, just couldn't hold myself.

Originally Posted by Basil77

Dear Rockzmom, I know you have good sense of humor and [s:3v2dfw3j]wouldn't[/s:3v2dfw3j] shouldn't be offended. Many Russians think[s:3v2dfw3j]s[/s:3v2dfw3j] that the best example of an oxymoron is "American democracy".

Ahh... I had not heard that one before! Very good!

I have heard of "American culture" though.

The best oxymoron I've ever heard came from this dialog:
Q: Do you know what Microsoft Works is?
A: An oxymoron

Dilalog:
- Is this currant black?
- No, it's red.
- Then why is it white?
- Because it's green.

BTW
Does anyone happen to know why a mirror reverses right and left but not up and down?

Originally Posted by Selexin

BTW
Does anyone happen to know why a mirror reverses right and left but not up and down?

It's difficult to tell why it does when it simply doesn't.
I'm sorry if the question was supposed to be a joke, but I was listening to a podcast the other day, and it was a phone-in, and somebody called and asked this question, and an alleged scientist in the studio tried to honestly answer it, with no success.

Originally Posted by E-learner

Originally Posted by Selexin

BTW
Does anyone happen to know why a mirror reverses right and left but not up and down?

It's difficult to tell why it does when it simply doesn't.
I'm sorry if the question was supposed to be a joke, but I was listening to a podcast the other day, and it was a phone-in, and somebody called and asked this question, and an alleged scientist in the studio tried to honestly answer it, with no success.

It's a joke indeed. Actually, a mirror DOESN'T reverse nothing: neither right&left nor up&down. The reason it's shows e.g. writings reversed is that a mirror shows an image from the viewer's point. So when you face a sheet of paper with a text in front of a mirror you see the text reversed exactly as if you could see it THROUGH the paper.
This oxymoron is very old source of scientist's jokes. The whole plot of Lewis Carroll's (who was a scientist himself) "Through the Looking-Glass" is based on it. Did you ever think that in a mirror we see an image of antimatter actuallly?

Two more oxymorons:
French military victories
British cuisine

Originally Posted by Ramil

British cuisine

Reminds me of old joke:
HEAVEN: old British house, Chinese cuisine, Russian wife and American salary.
HELL: old Chinese house, British cuisine, American wife and Russian salary.

А ещё в России стало модным взять какой-нибудь оксюморон и сделать его слоганом для очередной правительственной кампании, например: доступное жильё, честный чиновник...