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Thread: Letter & Essay

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    Letter & Essay

    Hello! Could you check my letter and essay. I'm going to pass IELTS exam in January 2010. I'd be greatiful for any help with this stuff.

    Topic:
    An Australian colleague is going to your country for a conference. He/she will spend several days in your home town and has written a letter to you asking for advice about thing to see and do there/
    Write a letter to the colleague suggesting what should see and do while he /she is in your home town.

    Dear John,
    Thanks a lot for your letter. It was nice to hear from you. It’s so great that we will meet on the workshop in Irkutsk. I thought I’d drop you a line to let you know what is the best way to spend free time in my hometown.

    To tell the truth, there are really a lot of things you can see in Irkutsk. First of all, I’d like to recommend you a boat tour along banks of the Angara river. In fact, out town is situated on the river and you will have a great possibility to see beautiful skyscrapers, a TV tower, cathedral and business centers. Also I’d like to suggest you to visit a museum about the history of Irkutsk and take part in an exhibition which is devoted to customs and traditions of Irkutsk dwellers. All these stuffs take place in the center of the town and you can book it in one of ticket offices.

    Another thing, I’d advise you to do is to visit a souvenir shop on the Linina Street and buy Russian dolls, a winter cap or something you like there. I’m sure, it would be very amazing to show all these things to your family, friends and relatives in Australia.

    I hope these suggesting help. If there is anything else I can do before your visit please give me a ring on 8(111)222-333. I look forward to hearing from you.

    Best wishes,
    Alexander

    Topic:
    People who travel to another country to live, work or study for a period of time often suffer badly from homesickness. Why is this? What are the best ways to reduce this problem?

    Today there are a lot of opportunities to get higher education, a new work or even citizenship in a foreign country. However, people often face many difficulties and obstacles abroad and the one of the most serious is loneliness or in other words nostalgia. In this essay I will analyze the main reasons of it and suggest ways how to overcome this issue.

    First of all, many young people who go abroad to get higher degree suffer from loneliness because there are not parents, old friends and relatives in new place. People often start thinking about their previous life and always try to communicate with people from their home country. It is well-known fact that new means of communications such as cell-phones and the Internet never could change a face to face conversation with family or friends.

    Another very important problem is the fact that people have to deal with cultural shock abroad. There is no doubt that customs and traditions of their own country differ from ones in a foreign country dramatically. Furthermore, people have to know a language of a new country in order to communicate with local dwellers. So if a foreigner doesn’t know a language and traditions of the country well he or she will always feel very lonely.

    On the other hand, there are several simple means in order to deal with mentioned above problems. People who are going to live and work abroad should learn a foreign language before travelling there. Also they should know most traditions and customs of a country where ones are going. All this stuff can help to make new friends abroad quickly and negative filling of loneliness will be avoided.

    Taking into account all mentioned above I strongly believe that people can have more opportunities abroad for their future life. But at the same time any thinking man has to prepare for living there in advance.

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    Re: Letter & Essay

    First of all, I’d like to recommend you a boat tour along the banks of the Angara river.

    You should use a definite article here because it's not a reference to banks of rivers in general, but specific ones.

    In fact, our town is situated ...

    All these things ('stuff' has no plural, and 'all this stuff' is too colloquial if you ask me) take place in the center of the town and you can book them (plural) in one of the ticket offices.

    Actually 'take place in' is not the best phrase here. It refers to where something is happening, but the things you mention are locations, not events. Better: all these things (or, even less colloquial, all these sights) are located in...


    No comma after 'another thing' - you are continuing the sentence (another thing to do...), it's not a phrase on its own, adding an afterthought here: Ah, and another thing, you should really go and buy some Russian dolls...

    I’m sure, it would be very amazing to show all these things to your family, friends and relatives in Australia.

    Better: I'm sure your family, friends and relatives (which means family, so you might want to drop it) in Australia will be amazed if you show them... In your sentence it is not clear whom it will be amazing for.


    I hope these suggestions help.

    And the essay:

    and (the) one of the most serious is loneliness or in other words nostalgia.

    No article with 'one of the'.

    I will analyze the main reasons for it

    who go abroad to get a higher degree

    because they leave behind their parents, old friends and relatives.

    It is a well-known fact

    such as cell-phones and the Internet never could replace a face to face conversation

    change = face-to-face conversation takes place and the cell phones or internet change its content. That's not what you mean here.

    There is no doubt that customs and traditions of their own country differ from those in a foreign country dramatically.

    Furthermore, people have to know the language of the new country in order to communicate with local dwellers.

    So if a foreigner doesn’t know the language

    In both sentences above you are talking about specifics; a person can only go to one country at a time and needs to know one language to communicate.

    in order to deal with the problems mentioned above.

    People who are going to live and work abroad should learn the local language before travelling there.

    Again, it's a specific language: learning Chinese doesn't help you when you go to Russia, even though it was 'a' foreign language you learned. You need the specific language, in this case, Russian.


    Also they should know most traditions and customs of the country to which they are going.

    I frequently see Russians write 'ones' where pronouns should be used. That's almost always wrong.


    and a negative feeling of loneliness will be avoided.

    Taking into account all I have mentioned above

    But at the same time it is prudent to prepare for living there in advance.

    'Any thinking man' - sounds awkward.

    Other than that, well done!

    Robin
    Спасибо за исправления!

    Вам нравится этот форум, и вы изучаете немецкий язык? Вот похожий форум о немецком языке.

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    Re: Letter & Essay

    Thank you very much! Your corrections are very useful for learning English.
    Alexander Usov.

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    Re: Letter & Essay

    Please, check my essay for preparing to IELTS exam.

    In Western countries, people spend a lot of money on their pets. They buy special food for their cats or dogs, buy them toys and often pay high fees for medical treatment. Some people think this is a waste of money and argue that pets are dirty and dangerous.
    What are the advantages and disadvantages of having pet? Do people spend too much money on pets?

    Some people believe that pets influence on adults and children only positive way. However, other people are sure that pets’ owners pay too much attention to their favorites and spend a lot of money without real necessity. In this essay I will discuss both point of view and present my opinion in favor of people who incline to think that having pets are good idea.

    On the one hand, there are a lot of benefits when a family has a pet. First of all, a pet usually become a member of a family. For example, as to my family I have a cat and we perceive her as the little daughter in all senses. Secondly, there is no doubt that pets help to bring up children and a lot of positive things usually take place. For instance, children in a family, who has a pet , will be more kind and caring in their adult life and moreover they will get along well with other people. Thirdly, scientists say that in accordance with statistics having cats, dogs or other pets are very useful for a man’s health. So the more people spend time with domestic animals the more happier they will be and finally their health will be also better.

    On the other hand, there are some negative sides while people have a pet. The most obvious disadvantage of it is the fact that nowadays some people spend much money for up-to-date clothes for their favorites or even get them an expensive haircut. Another important aspect of this is that some pets are dangerous for people’s health. For example, I have recently read an article where physics stated that some kind of allergies can be raised by having pets at home. In addition to these disadvantages adults and children should take into account that they need time in order to care of their favorites. Take for example the fact that dog’s owner have to walk with the favorite for not less than one or two hour per day.

    Taking into account all mentioned above, in my opinion having domestic animals has more positive sides then negative ones. I am sure if a family have a dog or a cat children will be more kind and sensitive then in the families without pets.

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    Re: Letter & Essay

    А как у Вас насчёт взаимопомощи и взаимовыручки? Прихрамываем слегка?
    "...Важно, чтобы форум оставался местом, объединяющим людей, для которых интересны русский язык и культура. ..." - MasterАdmin (из переписки)



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    Re: Letter & Essay

    Quote Originally Posted by alusov
    What are the advantages and disadvantages of having a pet (or: having pets)? Do people spend too much money on pets?

    Some people believe that pets influence {on} adults and children only in a positive way. However, other people are sure that pets’ owners (better: owners of pets; genitive 's is normally used only with people, for animals and inanimate objects use 'of') pay too much attention to their favorites and spend a lot of money without real necessity. In this essay I will discuss both points of view and present my opinion in favor of people who are inclined to think that having pets are good idea.

    On the one hand, there are a lot of benefits when a family has a pet. First of all, a pet usually becomes a member of a family. For example, as far as my family is concerned, I have a cat and we perceive her like a little daughter in all regards. Secondly, there is no doubt that pets help to bring up children and a lot of positive things usually take place. For instance, children in a family, which has a pet, will be more kind and caring in their adult life and moreover they will get along well with other people. Thirdly, scientists say that in accordance with statistics having cats, dogs or other pets is very useful for a man’s health. So the more people spend time with domestic animals the {more} happier they will be and finally their health will be also better.

    On the other hand, there are some negative sides when people have a pet. The most obvious disadvantage of it is the fact that nowadays some people spend much money for up-to-date clothes for their favorites or even get them an expensive haircut. Another important aspect of this is that some pets are dangerous for people’s health. For example, I {have} recently read an article where physicians stated that some types of allergy can be amplified by having pets at home. In addition to these disadvantages adults and children should take into account that they need time in order to care for their favorites. Take for example the fact that dog’s owners have to walk their favorite for not less than one or two hours per day.

    You don't walk with dogs in English, you walk your dog. Furthermore, I don't think your usage of 'favorite' is good - you may have a favorite among your pets, but that doesn't mean you don't have to care for the others.

    Taking into account everything mentioned above, in my opinion having domestic animals has more positive sides than negative ones. I am sure if a family has a dog or a cat children will be more kind and sensitive than in {the} families without pets.
    Robin
    Спасибо за исправления!

    Вам нравится этот форум, и вы изучаете немецкий язык? Вот похожий форум о немецком языке.

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    Re: Letter & Essay

    My next essay. Thanks for any help.

    What technological development do you think has been the most important? How has it changed people’s life? Have all the changes been positive?

    I think the question about scientific inventions which took place in the last century is the one that is very interesting and open for debate. Scientist have made tremendous breakthrough in many spheres of man’s activity such as invention of an engine of internal combustion, a telephone and a personal computer. In this essay, I will discuss one of the most remarkable discovery of the last decades which called the Internet and present my opinion concerning positive and negative sides of this phenomenon.

    There is no doubt that the Internet or in other words World Wide Web has changed people’s life dramatically. Take for example the fact that nowadays men and women have a great opportunity to communicate with each other through the ocean using up-to-date means such as Skype, a chat, ICQ and so on. As for me, I personally enjoy speaking with friends from another countries with help of Skype and also such way I have a possibility to improve my communications skills in English. Another important aspect of development of the Internet is the fact that today high-speed means of communications give fantastic opportunities for employees in order to work from their homes. It is well-known fact that telecommuting have become very popular nowadays because there are a lot of advantages of it. For instance, office workers or in other words white collars don’t waste of their time and money for commuting from a home to a work and back on the everyday base. So there are many obvious benefits of using the Internet.

    However, there are some disadvantages of spreading of the Internet all over the world. First of all, computer viruses are very dangerous for information which is stored on hard disks and unfortunately user’s computers and notebooks can be infected by way of the Internet. Another negative side of spreading of the Internet is so called e-crimes which take place when a computer criminal withdraw money from a victim’s credit card. So it makes sense that there are negative sides of the Internet as well.

    Taking into account all mentioned above I am inclined to believe that in spite having of some negative aspects of the Internet positive sides overweight them. If mankind will develop WWW future generation will have huge benefits from it.

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    Re: Letter & Essay

    Quote Originally Posted by Lampada
    А как у Вас насчёт взаимопомощи и взаимовыручки? Прихрамываем слегка?
    Я готов помочь Вам. Что именно Вы хотите. Проверку письма на русском?

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    Re: Letter & Essay

    Quote Originally Posted by bitpicker
    Quote Originally Posted by alusov
    What are the advantages and disadvantages of having a pet (or: having pets)? Do people spend too much money on pets?

    Some people believe that pets influence {on} adults and children only in a positive way. However, other people are sure that pets’ owners (better: owners of pets; genitive 's is normally used only with people, for animals and inanimate objects use 'of') pay too much attention to their favorites and spend a lot of money without real necessity. In this essay I will discuss both points of view and present my opinion in favor of people who are inclined to think that having pets are good idea.

    On the one hand, there are a lot of benefits when a family has a pet. First of all, a pet usually becomes a member of a family. For example, as far as my family is concerned, I have a cat and we perceive her like a little daughter in all regards. Secondly, there is no doubt that pets help to bring up children and a lot of positive things usually take place. For instance, children in a family, which has a pet, will be more kind and caring in their adult life and moreover they will get along well with other people. Thirdly, scientists say that in accordance with statistics having cats, dogs or other pets is very useful for a man’s health. So the more people spend time with domestic animals the {more} happier they will be and finally their health will be also better.

    On the other hand, there are some negative sides when people have a pet. The most obvious disadvantage of it is the fact that nowadays some people spend much money for up-to-date clothes for their favorites or even get them an expensive haircut. Another important aspect of this is that some pets are dangerous for people’s health. For example, I {have} recently read an article where physicians stated that some types of allergy can be amplified by having pets at home. In addition to these disadvantages adults and children should take into account that they need time in order to care for their favorites. Take for example the fact that dog’s owners have to walk their favorite for not less than one or two hours per day.

    You don't walk with dogs in English, you walk your dog. Furthermore, I don't think your usage of 'favorite' is good - you may have a favorite among your pets, but that doesn't mean you don't have to care for the others.

    Taking into account everything mentioned above, in my opinion having domestic animals has more positive sides than negative ones. I am sure if a family has a dog or a cat children will be more kind and sensitive than in {the} families without pets.
    Robin
    Thank you bitpicker. If you need help in Russian language I'll do it with pleasure.

  10. #10
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    Re: Letter & Essay

    Quote Originally Posted by alusov
    Quote Originally Posted by Lampada
    А как у Вас насчёт взаимопомощи и взаимовыручки? Прихрамываем слегка?
    Я готов помочь Вам. Что именно Вы хотите? Проверку письма на русском?
    Большое спасибо за предложение помочь мне с русским. А как Вы бы предпочли, чтоб я обращалась к Вам за помощью? В личном сообщении или просто здесь, в форуме?
    "...Важно, чтобы форум оставался местом, объединяющим людей, для которых интересны русский язык и культура. ..." - MasterАdmin (из переписки)



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    Re: Letter & Essay

    Quote Originally Posted by alusov
    My next essay. Thanks for any help.

    What technological development do you think has been the most important? How has it changed people’s life? Have all the changes been positive?

    I think the question about scientific inventions which took place in the last century is {the} (if you use an article here it means 'the only question that is very interesting') one that is very interesting and open for debate. Scientist have made tremendous breakthroughs in many spheres of man’s activity such as invention of an engine of internal combustion, a telephone and a personal computer (they did not invent just one out of many, so here you should not use 'a' but 'the'). In this essay, I will discuss one of the most remarkable discoveries of the last decades which is called the internet (no capital letter - I won't change that in the following) and present my opinion concerning positive and negative sides of this phenomenon.

    There is no doubt that the Internet or in other words World Wide Web has changed people’s life dramatically. Take for example the fact that nowadays men and women have a great opportunity to communicate with each other through the ocean (there's nothing special about oceans in this case - maybe you should use 'across long distances') using up-to-date means such as Skype, a chat, ICQ and so on. As for me, I personally enjoy speaking with friends from {an}other countries (another is a single thing, can't be plural) with the help of Skype and this way I also have a possibility to improve my communications skills in English. Another important aspect of development of the Internet is the fact that today high-speed means of communications give fantastic opportunities for employees in order to work from their homes. It is a well-known fact that telecommuting has become very popular nowadays because there are a lot of advantages to it. For instance, office workers or in other words white collars don’t waste {of} their time and money for commuting from {a} home to {a} work and back on a daily basis. So there are many obvious benefits to using the Internet.

    However, there are some disadvantages in spreading {of} the Internet all over the world. First of all, computer viruses are very dangerous for information which is stored on hard disks and unfortunately users' computers and notebooks can be infected by way of the Internet. Another negative side of spreading of the Internet is so called e-crimes which take place when a computer criminal withdraws money from a victim’s credit card. So it is obvious that there are negative sides of the Internet as well. 'It makes sense' = it is a sensible thing (i.e. good, acceptable) that...

    Taking into account all mentioned above I am inclined to believe that in spite of having some negative aspects the positive sides of the internet have greater weight (or simply: prevail). If mankind continues to improve WWW future generations will have huge benefits from it.
    And as an aside on the topic: if of course you used a technically sound operating system (i.e. not Windows), then at least the malware problem would stop. It's not a bad side of the internet, it's a bad side of a shoddy operating system not worth the name. Using a sensibly constructed operating system does not alleviate the other major problem of computer technology though: inept users.

    Robin
    Спасибо за исправления!

    Вам нравится этот форум, и вы изучаете немецкий язык? Вот похожий форум о немецком языке.

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    Re: Letter & Essay

    Quote Originally Posted by Lampada
    А как у Вас насчёт взаимопомощи и взаимовыручки? Прихрамываем слегка?
    на форуме.

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    Re: Letter & Essay

    This is my next essay.

    Violence in playgrounds is increasing. However it is important that parents should teach children not to hit back at bullies.
    Discuss this view and give your own opinion.

    I think that the question whether teenagers have to fight against hooligans in the streets is rather serious, controversial and open for debate. Some parents believe that their children should not beat other children at all. However, other parents are sure that children have to protect themselves by not only verbal way. In this essay, I will discuss both point of view and present my own opinion in favor of people who are inclined to believe that it depends on a situation in which our children are.

    On the one hand, most parent firmly believe that their sons and daughters should not beat other boys and girls even if they are cruel towards them. Unfortunately, nowadays Western culture have a huge negative influence on young people’s behavior. As a result, a lot of youngsters try to imitate heroes from action films or computer games. However in spite of these facts parents are sure that their children should not answer on cruelty by the same because otherwise they will not be kind towards their own children in the future.

    On the other hand, some mothers and fathers suppose that their children have always to be able to protect themselves from hostile peers as well as defend their friends or even unknown girls or boys. So, some parents teach their sons and daughters to use physical strength or even sign up them in a sport section such as karate of judo. As a result, teenagers from such section are ready to defend somebody while street fighting.

    In my opinion, youngsters should avoid violence and cruelty on the streets in any forms. However, it depends on the situation in which young people are involved. For instance, if there is a real dangerous for your or one of your friends’ health I think it is necessary to protect themselves by physical way.

    Taking into account everything mentioned above I suppose that children should use physical power against other youngsters only when other means are impossible. Parents should explain to their children that the best way is to avoid or foresee most of conflict situation in advance.

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    Re: Letter & Essay

    bitpicker than you very much. It is real help for learning English.
    If you need help with Russian language I'll do it with pleasure.

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    Re: Letter & Essay

    Quote Originally Posted by alusov
    Violence in playgrounds is increasing. However it is important that parents should teach children not to hit back at bullies.
    Discuss this view and give your own opinion.

    I think that the question whether teenagers have to fight against hooligans in the streets is rather serious, controversial and open for debate. Some parents believe that their children should not beat other children at all. However, other parents are sure that children have to protect themselves by not only verbal means. In this essay, I will discuss both points of view and present my own opinion in favor of people who are inclined to believe that it depends on the situation in which our children are.

    Note that the task is to discuss playground violence, which doesn't have anything to do with teenager and hooligans fighting in the streets.'Teenagers' are aged 10 to 19, while playground children are usually pre-school or primary school. And hooligans are not the same as bullies.

    On the one hand, most parents firmly believe that their sons and daughters should not beat other boys and girls even if they are cruel towards them. Unfortunately, nowadays Western culture has a huge negative influence on young people’s behavior. As a result, a lot of youngsters try to imitate heroes from action films or computer games. However in spite of these facts parents are sure that their children should not answer {on} violence with the same because otherwise they will not be kind towards their own children in the future.

    On the other hand, some mothers and fathers suppose that their children have always to be able to protect themselves from hostile peers as well as defend their friends or even unknown girls or boys. So, some parents teach their sons and daughters to use physical strength or even sign them up for martial arts courses such as karate or judo. As a result, teenagers knowledgable in such martial arts are ready to defend somebody while street fighting.

    In my opinion, youngsters should avoid violence and cruelty on the streets in any forms. However, it depends on the situation in which young people are involved. For instance, if there is a real danger{ous} for your or one of your friends’ health I think it is necessary to protect yourself physically. ('Yourself' has to be congruent to 'you' in the first part of the sentence.)

    Taking into account everything mentioned above I suppose that children should use physical power against other youngsters only when other means are impossible. Parents should explain to their children that the best way is to avoid or foresee most {of} conflict situations in advance.
    Спасибо за исправления!

    Вам нравится этот форум, и вы изучаете немецкий язык? Вот похожий форум о немецком языке.

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    Re: Letter & Essay

    I am trying to improve my writting skills in English. Thanks for helping me with this matter.

    In many countries, the problem of drug taking is increasing. Governments and the general public are particularly concerned about young people using illegal drugs such as marijuana, ecstasy and heroin.
    What methods could be used to prevent young people from taking drugs. Is it appropriate to send young drug-users to prison?

    I think that the question about drug addiction and the best ways of fighting with this evil is the one which is really challenging, topical and open for debate. Some people firmly believe that it is essential to be sent drug addicts to jails. However other people are sure that society should use other means such as education and upbringing. In this essay I will analyze both point of view and present my opinion in favor of people who are inclined to believe that social environment and education is the best way dealing with drug addiction.

    On the one hand, it is considered opinion that a jail is the best place for men and women who take drugs. In my opinion, these people are needed treatment and psychological help. In addition, many scientist suppose that drug addiction is a disease. Another important aspect of this is the fact that drug smuggling is an issue which is connected with first one directly and may be combated only if most of governments will collaborate together. There is no doubt that prison is an ideal place for criminals who spread drugs among people.

    On the other hand, there are a lot of ways how to treat with this problem in a society. First of all, the most obvious method is proper upbringing in a family. It is well-known fact, that mothers and fathers play very important role in this matter and it makes sense that parents should explain dangerous consequences of taking drugs to their children. Second of all, schools have to teach young people that drug is a thing which people should always avoid. According to recent statistic report, more than 50% of drug addicts don’t have a good education.

    Taking into account all mentioned above, I tend to assume that the combination of school education and family upbringing will give the best result.

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    Re: Letter & Essay

    My next 2 letter

    You have lost your credit card.
    Write to the manager of your bank. Explain where and how you lost the card and any relevant details. Ask the manager to cancel the card and to send you replacement.

    Dear Sir/Madam,
    I am writing to inform your bank about the fact that I have lost my credit card. I am a client of your bank from 1th of April 2007 and always was satisfied with service.

    I suppose that I left the card in a cash dispenser in the shopping center “Avrova” in the “Kurchatova” street on 20th of June 2009. I withdrew $550 for some purchases in the center and accidentally forgot to get the card back because I hurried to join the queue in a boutique. Next day in the morning I found out at home that my credit card was disappeared.

    I would be grateful if you could close my current card and open a new one. I wonder if you could send me a new card either in a Post Office or in a branch bank.

    Please, contact me by the address above or by phone number 8(111)222-333. I look forward to your prompt response.

    Your faithfully,
    Alexander Usov

    Next topic :
    You booked a two-week holiday to Sydney with Fly-by-Night Travel. You are not happy with the holiday- the flight was delayed, the hotel was noisy. Complain about the holiday giving details about the problems. Request some compensation or refund.

    Dear Sir/Madam,
    I am writing to complain about the poor service which my family have got through your travel agency. My family spent the holiday at the hotel “Sunrise” in Sydney from 5th to 19th of June 2009.

    I don’t believe that service can be so awful. First of all, we arrived in Sydney 5 hours later because our departure from London was delayed. As a result, we had to spend all night sleeping in the air terminal. Secondly, after we arrived to the hotel, a receptionist asked us that our room had been already occupied by another family and suggested us another room. You can imagine our disappointment when we discovered that there was not view on the sea from windows of our room despite the fact that it was one of our agreement with your company. Moreover, there was very loud noise in the room because the roadway was not far away from the hotel thus my family could not sleep well.

    The best solution for me would be 50% refund of the tour cost. You can contact me by the address above or by phone number 8(111)111-111. I expect to hear from you as soon as possible.

    Your faithfully,
    Alexander Usov.

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