Yeah, dammit, even I know what the Sugar Bowl is, although I still don't understand why Americans don't take their dirty shoes off when they walk around their nicely carpeted houses. Joysof, you should go to a Great American Barbecue. It involves grilling hamburgers and another non-barbecue items and drinking lots of beer and eating potato salad. I think there has to be a big flag somewhere too. That's what AMERICANS do, dammit, because we're better than you. You don't have "Great English Barbecues", do ya? Do ya? And tomorrow I'm going to visit the new pizza store that opened in my town, Great American Pizza. You know it's good because it's American, dammit, and their logo is a big flag. AMERICANS also produce the best quality hand tools. I know that because I read it in an ad for Craftsman tools, which are used to fix "the stuff that WASN'T made in America."

I feel a sudden urge to chide those who don't support the war in Iraq. Why, don't you know Iraq and the Taliban would have sent paratroopers to invade small Midwestern towns and convert the local population to Islam? Thanks to our AMERICAN troops, however, we still have the freedom to drive cars, buy groceries, send our kids to BBC, and have Great AMERICAN barbecues.