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Thread: Поправьте, пожалуйста

  1. #1
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    Поправьте, пожалуйста

    Привет! Проверьте, пожалуйста, текст.

    Theme of mymaster's thesis is "Organization of the integratedmanufacture on principles of supply chain management".
    The rules of business have changed. With today’s instantaneous availability of information, new cultural trends can take hold globally within weeks—and fade rapidly as well. With technological advances occurring at such a pace, new products quickly gain in popularity, only to be replaced by more advanced gadgets.
    Businesses today need a new way of operating that gives them the flexibility to respond quickly to unexpected changes. They need a new operating model that enables them to adapt to difficult economic conditions. The relevance of this work is conditioned by necessity to find and to develop this operating model. The organization of the integrated manufacture on principles of supply chain management joins companies into an adaptable and flexible set of business relationships. By linking companies through standard business processes and common technology, the adaptive business network allows them to work together as a loose network of partners. Working together with other businesses in the network, each company is able to respond more swiftly to changing market conditions than it could on its own.
    Methodological basis of this dissertation is the economic analysis, method of expert estimations, constructions of economic models and the system analysis.
    The practical value of the work is that results of work can be applied at the concrete enterprise to perfection of an existing chain of deliveries and can be recommended for wider use.
    The object of research is the Russian enterprises.
    The subjects of research are existing relations of the enterprises in the field of a supply chain.

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    Re: Поправьте, пожалуйста

    Quote Originally Posted by Gvidon
    The theme of my Master's thesis is "Organization of the integrated manufacturing on principles of supply chain management". ( http://info.emeraldinsight.com/products ... k7&id=JMTM )

    The rules of business have changed. With today’s instantaneous availability of information, new cultural trends can take hold globally within weeks—and fade rapidly as well. With technological advances occurring at such a pace, new products quickly gain in popularity, only to be replaced by more advanced gadgets. (If you are going to copy text from another publication: http://searchsap.techtarget.com/generic ... 17,00.html then show it as a quote and cite the source.)

    Businesses today need a new way of operating that gives them the flexibility to respond quickly to unexpected changes. They need a new operating model that enables them to adapt to difficult economic conditions. (Again make this a quote and cite the source: http://tinyurl.com/qqpz8y )

    The relevance of this work is conditioned by necessity to find and to develop this operating model. The organization of [s:alwglde1]the[/s:alwglde1] integrated manufacturing on principles of supply chain management joins companies into an adaptable and flexible set of business relationships. By linking companies through standard business processes and common technology, the adaptive business network allows them to work together as a loose network of partners. Working together with other businesses in the network, each company is able to respond more swiftly to changing market conditions than it could on its own.

    The methodological basis of this dissertation is the economic analysis, method of expert estimations, constructions of economic models and [s:alwglde1]the[/s:alwglde1] system analysis.

    The practical value of this work is that the results [s:alwglde1]of work[/s:alwglde1] can be applied [s:alwglde1]at[/s:alwglde1] to the concrete enterprise to perfection of an existing chain of deliveries and can be recommended for wider use.

    The object of the research [s:alwglde1]is[/s:alwglde1] are [s:alwglde1]the[/s:alwglde1] Russian enterprises.

    The subjects of the research are existing relations of the enterprises in the field of a supply chain.

  3. #3
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    Re: Поправьте, пожалуйста

    Ken Watts, how did you find the sources of quotes?

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    Re: Поправьте, пожалуйста

    Quote Originally Posted by SAn
    Ken Watts, how did you find the sources of quotes?
    SAn, I copied part of the text that I suspected from the original post into Google's search box: http://www.google.com/ I placed a quote mark (") at the beginning and end of the copied text. Then I pressed the "Google Search" button, and some search results showed the text I copied word for word, followed by additional text that is also in the orginal post.

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    Re: Поправьте, пожалуйста

    "Good comeback", Ken. You forgot to mention what force you applied when pushing the enter button though.
    The thought that I don’t have to do similar sort of rubbish almost makes me happy.
    The only good thing about writing all these theses is you won’t be mourning for too long after a guy who is supposed to read all this stuff having read the first several lines gives you a good mark for the job well done and throws them in a waste basket.

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    Re: Поправьте, пожалуйста

    OK, I see. I thinked that you have used some search system specifically designed to detect text borrowing. Or, may be, that you just remember these books/papers.

    The problem is that there are hundreds of fragments in the text that potentially can be taken from some papers. Search them all in Google is hard enough.

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    Re: Поправьте, пожалуйста

    The second word is possibly incorrect. If you really mean "theme", then omit the quotation marks and capitalization. Otherwise what we have here is "The title of my thesis is ...." If you mean "title," then your capitalization is wrong - check Strunk & White for how to use capitalization in titles.

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    Re: Поправьте, пожалуйста

    Hi! Could you check my text, please? This is the essay on English language (topic is the imagine interview), and I will be very grateful, if we correct my mistakes! My English is bad, but I strive to improve it .

    Thanks in advance!

    I'd like to work in applied science. My passion are medicinal plants. I would like to use their medicinal properties for treatment of various diseases, and also in cosmetic purposes. Biology seminar in Science Center has helped me to learn many things about them. This summer I’m going to Medicinal Plants School, which will be held at lake. I think, it will be very useful for my further work. Drug addiction prevention seminar was also helpful, because I introduce many ways for safeguards of drug addiction and vice, and I’m ready sharing some knowledge and experience with other people. Having a certificate for successfully completed training, I worked in Helth Center as a volunteer, in the sector for counseling young people. It was a great experience, because I was able to share my knowledge with other young people and advice them of the need to live healthy.
    I am very communicative, like to meet new people and to travel; I am ready to new experiences and challenges. I am a self-confident and reasponsible person. I think, that these characteristics are essential for work.
    I have experience in team work, because I am a member of Amateur theater. As an actress, I must work with a large number of people, and it is very difficult, if you are not communicative and eloquently, if you don’t able to work in team. I have my opinion and I can express it, but I am ready to hear others.
    I decided to apply for this job, because I think that could contribute to the development of the company, in the way that I do work conscientiously and responsibly, with a lot of enthusiasm and love. I like to learn new things and to improve myself. Often take the initiative, because I like to fight for good things, and not to be passive or wait “good opportunity”. If you want to progress, you must be trying to give the maximum in each field.

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    Re: Поправьте, пожалуйста

    Quote Originally Posted by Снежинка
    Hi! Could you check my text, please? This is [s:3o11zlui]the[/s:3o11zlui] an essay [s:3o11zlui]on[/s:3o11zlui] in the English language (the topic is the imagined interview), and I will be very grateful, if [s:3o11zlui]we[/s:3o11zlui] you correct my mistakes! My English is bad, but I strive to improve it .

    Thanks in advance!

    I'd like to work in applied science. My passion [s:3o11zlui]are[/s:3o11zlui] is medicinal plants. I would like to use their medicinal properties for treatment of various diseases, and also in cosmetic purposes. The biology seminar in the Science Center has helped me to learn many things about them. This summer I’m going to the Medicinal Plants School, which will be held at a lake. I think, it will be very useful for my further work. The drug addiction prevention seminar was also helpful, because I was introduced to many ways for safeguards [s:3o11zlui]of[/s:3o11zlui] against drug addiction and vice, and I’m already sharing some knowledge and experience with other people. Having a certificate for successfully complet[s:3o11zlui]ed[/s:3o11zlui]ing training, I worked in the Health Center as a volunteer, in the sector for counseling young people. It was a great experience, because I was able to share my knowledge with other young people and advise them of the need to live healthy.
    I am very communicative, like to meet new people and to travel; I am ready [s:3o11zlui]to[/s:3o11zlui] for new experiences and challenges. I am a self-confident and responsible person. I think, that these characteristics are essential for work.
    I have experience in team work, because I am a member of the Amateur Theater/an amateur theater. As an actress, I must work with a large number of people, and it is very difficult if you are not communicative and eloquent and if you aren’t able to work in a team. I have my opinion and I can express it, but I am ready to hear others.
    I decided to apply for this job, because I think that I could contribute to the development of the company, in the way that I do work conscientiously and responsibly, with a lot of enthusiasm and love. I like to learn new things and to improve myself. I often take the initiative, because I like to fight for good things, and not [s:3o11zlui]to[/s:3o11zlui] be passive or wait for a “good opportunity”. If you want to progress, you must be trying to give [s:3o11zlui]the[/s:3o11zlui] your maximum effort in each field.

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