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Thread: And they say American education is on the road to hell:-)

  1. #1
    Властелин charlestonian's Avatar
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    And they say American education is on the road to hell:-)

    Too good not to pass on!


    HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT


    The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

    Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat).

    Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

    "First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. Therefore, we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

    As for how many souls are entering Hell, let us look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

    Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

    This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it?

    "If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."


    THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
    Well, I don't know what to say. I want to say thanks to the Academy, to Mama, to Papa and to my dog. I love you all.

  2. #2
    Завсегдатай
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    Таких «самородков» везде полно.
    «И всё, что сейчас происходит внутре — тоже является частью вселенной».

  3. #3
    Завсегдатай BappaBa's Avatar
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    Напомните плз, каков у них ранжир с этими "А", etc. Что-то я забыл =(

  4. #4
    Властелин charlestonian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BappaBa
    Напомните плз, каков у них ранжир с этими "А", etc. Что-то я забыл =(
    I did not get the question...
    Well, I don't know what to say. I want to say thanks to the Academy, to Mama, to Papa and to my dog. I love you all.

  5. #5
    Завсегдатай Ramil's Avatar
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    A is 5
    B is 4
    C is 3, etc.
    Send me a PM if you need me.

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    Завсегдатай chaika's Avatar
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    That's a great one, although at least a decade old. Thanks for resurrecting it!

  7. #7
    Властелин charlestonian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chaika
    That's a great one, although at least a decade old. Thanks for resurrecting it!
    It's still new for many I reckon
    Well, I don't know what to say. I want to say thanks to the Academy, to Mama, to Papa and to my dog. I love you all.

  8. #8
    Завсегдатай kalinka_vinnie's Avatar
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    Of course, who knows whether it is a true story or somebody wants it to seem more funny than it is. I am a cynic, I know.
    Hei, rett norsken min og du er død.
    I am a notourriouse misspeller. Be easy on me.
    Пожалуйста! Исправляйте мои глупые ошибки (но оставьте умные)!
    Yo hablo español mejor que tú.
    Trusnse kal'rt eturule sikay!!! ))

  9. #9
    Завсегдатай Ramil's Avatar
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    Кстати, боянчик давний. Между прочим, читал его в русском переводе про российских студентов.
    Send me a PM if you need me.

  10. #10
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    And I liked the story, whether it was a bayan or not.
    Я так думаю.

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