If you want to hear some Russian jokes (personally, I think Russian jokes are the best), go to http://www.anekdot.ru/
Most of the jokes are bad, since a lot of stupid people write them, but once in a while really good ones pop up.
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If you want to hear some Russian jokes (personally, I think Russian jokes are the best), go to http://www.anekdot.ru/
Most of the jokes are bad, since a lot of stupid people write them, but once in a while really good ones pop up.
It's one of my favorite resources for Russian jokes. I used to visit it pretty often, but unfortunately it has a lot of bad jokes. So, it gets kind of boring with time. Still that is a good one!
In USA a computer that can estimate future has been developed. Developers decided to show it to Bush. Bush is asking the computer:
When will Third world war begin?
Computer: In 2010 year.
Bush: How much will Coca-Cola cost in USA after the war?
Computer: Five roubles.
tu-160, I love that joke, it had me in stitches
—Мам, а что такое „поц“?
—Где ты это услышал, сынок?
—Да в школе, сказку Пушкина читали: „И днём и ночью кот учёный, всё ходит, поц… и „пи“ кругом.“
-How much does this parrot cost?
-Seven hundred dollars.
-Why so expensive?
-He knows all secrets of CIA.
-And how much that one?
-One thousand dollars.
-Why?
-He knows all secrets of KGB.
-And how much does third one cost?
-Two thousand dollars.
-And whose secrets does he know?
-I really don't know. But first two parrots call him chief!
LOL!!Quote:
Originally Posted by Tu-160
altho i didn't luagh outloud. it had some commic relief. altho if the russians invaded, i think most of america wouldn't sit back like france, or iraq when they were occupied or had evil rulers. i think people would get together with their friends, loud up their guns, put twigs in their hair run around in the woods with face paint on call themselves the wolveriens and try to beat back the russkies, really though. as good as our military is, if our manland was even invaded, i think the enemy would get a worse time from our civilians, 2 out of every 3 people has a gun of some sort, or knows somone who has a gun, and as civilians, we are not obligated to take prisoners, kill em all *rat rat tat the sound of my gat* i don't even know where i was going with this, it was a joke. (god, i' such an american) ... ok ok what is the diffrence between khazakstan and georgia they only have adver*connection lost*...
i guess my internet is still working after all, oh, and please... nobody make a post about how the french resistance was a huge aid to the allies, beacuase. it wasn't "Oi Oi kamrades ve hav vatered down sie german beer supplies, oi oi viva la risistance ! " serosuly,i could blow up phone line and derail trains here at home, cmon how hard could it be.
What movie was that dog boy.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dogboy182
actually it was grand theft auto 3. that game probly has the funniest dialouge i have heard. laslo is the best.
Hmm, I remember a move from years ago, I probably would have been about 8, where the soviets did invade the US, and that some group of people, I think they where a hokey team or somthing, staged some resistance.
You silly american, Russia doesn't attack peaceful countries. This joke is about american invasion.
Tu, Americans see things the way they want to see them, not the way things actually are.
The ability to look at your own actions from an impartial view seams to be a rear gift for an American, and it seams, increasingly rear for Australians as well.
hm? i think it was about invading america... why else would we say 5 rubles? russia invaded america... what, i think u are confused. this is stupid.
To me it sounds like the joke does not specify who actually initially invaded, just that Russia won.
maybe they took over the world muahahah
May be it's like "don't touch the SH@t, it won't stink".
The movie you're thinking of was called "Red Dawn".
Cool Thanks cet.Quote:
Originally Posted by Cet
I have a funny joke, even though it's not about Russia. I'll tell it anyway.
Q: What does George W. Bush want for Thanks Giving?
A: Turkey
не понял :?:
It's clearly. Afganistan then Iraq then Turkey...Turkey is a european country also. :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Dogboy182
I think he wants syria as well too dosn't he?
I think he just wants the whole world so he can fill it with products and brands that his mates own.
Maybe he wants Syria maybe he wants Iran but with this words it wouldn't be a joke... :)Quote:
Originally Posted by z80
I absolutely agree with you.Quote:
I think he just wants the whole world so he can fill it with products and brands that his mates own.
i don't see what is so wrong with taking care of little punk countries that would do the same exact thing нам if they could. maybe we should take care of chechnya and do russia a favor. we are not trying to take over the world. simply, make it safer for us ! :D and i frankly, see nothing wrong with that. i don't hear any poor afghans begging for this awefull tyranny of democracy and free speach to go away. and iraq, just needs to settle down, but i doubt they will go up in arms with their new dictator called freedom. wow, now that i think about it, we (USA)really are just a bunch of svoloches arn't we (sracastic).
Dogboy, I want to make my town safer. In this town we have a lot of drunk abos, so first I'm going to take them over and make them live where I tell them too so that we can control them, any that resist will be killed. Second problem is that some one about 3 houses down plays there music really loud, and I don't like it. So I'm going to take away there right to play music.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dogboy182
Do you understand what I am trying to say? People have the right to live how ever the hell they want, and america imposing it's ways of living on any one, particularly Europe and Islamic states is just wrong. I've given up on my own country, we are so far up bushes but hole that it's going to take one hell of a bowl movement to get us out of there.
Large corporations (usually american owned) are just getting larger and richer, and thus more powerful. Someone with a commercial interest can not be expected to do the best for the general public.
added:- Basically, what I'm trying to say is who the hell am I to tell anyone else how to live, and the same applies for contries.
dogboy, when you are in russia chasing around your devushkas, why dont you mention how you support all this stuff to everyone you meet. Just to let you know, Russia was one of the biggest critics of the recent war.
im sure iraq was a huge risk to our "freedom" (a word which is thrown around way too much). The word that should be used is our safety. Sure our freedom is taken away a little by terrorist attacks, but mostly just at airports.) Back to iraq....What a waste of time, money and killing of iraqis that probably didnt have to die and werent having too bad of a life (compared to dead of course) under sadaam who was just getting older. It probably would have been another castro all over again.
Yeah...the democracy in Afghanistan that is forcing women to cover themselves up again when they go outside. A democracy is when people choose their own leaders and laws. Afghanistan's rulers were chosen by us, and many of them are returning to hardline Islamic laws.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dogboy182
Из отчёта службы безопасности "... по поводу взлома китайцами cервера Пентагона":
.......
1) Каждый китаец попробовал один пароль;
2) Каждый второй пароль был "maodzedun";
3) На 657983241-й попытке сервер согласился, что у него пароль "maodzedun".
------------------------
From the report of security service "... about hacking the server of Pentagon by Chineses":
.......
1) Every Chinese tried one password;
2) Every second password was "maodzedun";
3) On 657983241th attempt the server agreed that its password was "maodzedun".