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Thread: Анекдоты

  1. #21
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    Speaking of Shtirlitz jokes with sexual context... These have been my favorite ones.


    Штирлиц стоял на своем... Это была любимая пытка Мюллера

    Радистка Кэт села в машину и дала газу... Она тогда еще не знала что Газ работает на гестапо

    (this one's slightly politically incorrect)
    Штирлиц шел по лесу и увидел голубые ели... Подойдя поближе, он увидел что голубые не только ели, но и пили

  2. #22
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    Also, these ones really made me laugh, even though they're a bit terrifying


    Штирлиц облил кошку бензином и поджег; кошка пробежала 10 метров и упала; "Бензин кончился", подумал Штирлиц

    Штирлиц шел по улице и поднял глаза... Это были голубые глаза пастора Шлага

    Гестаповцы ставили машину на попа... "Бедный пастор", подумал Штирлиц

  3. #23
    Почтенный гражданин pushvv's Avatar
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    Гадить, в общем, вполне нормальное слово. Иногда применяется в переносном смысле ("Как бы ему нагадить?..").

    Штирлиц кормил детей украдкой. - Shtirlitz feed children steathily. The Stealthily makes children die. - like this

    >>Ummm... is this one a reference to дрочка? (If not, then I misunderstood the joke.)
    I suggest you to avoid this word ^^^, it sounds silly. Though yes, it is about "feel myself" in english. Though "овладеть собой" ususally doesn't make such sense in right context.

  4. #24
    Почтенный гражданин Soft sign's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eric C. View Post
    How so? Sounds perfect to me; I've also heard this version of it: Штирлиц дал Мюллеру подписку; Мюллер взвыл от боли
    In my ideolect, the words ‘записка’ and ‘подписка’ are pronounced with a hard [s], while the word ‘писька’ is pronounced with a soft [sʲ] (the spelling also reflects such pronunciation). So this pun is not a pun for me.
    How do you pronounse these words? Do you use a hard [s] in ‘писька’ or a soft [sʲ] in ‘записка’?
    Please correct my English

  5. #25
    Завсегдатай sperk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pushvv View Post
    "Как бы ему нагадить?.."
    Как вы бы перевести это?
    Кому - нары, кому - Канары.

  6. #26
    Почтенный гражданин Soft sign's Avatar
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    Maybe,
    «Как бы ему нагадить?..» — “What mischief can I make for him?..”
    Please correct my English

  7. #27
    Властелин Medved's Avatar
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    Как бы вы это перевели?
    или
    Как бы это перевести?
    Another month ends. All targets met. All systems working. All customers satisfied. All staff eagerly enthusiastic. All pigs fed and ready to fly.

  8. #28
    Властелин Medved's Avatar
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    Штирлиц облил кошку бензином и поджег; кошка пробежала 10 метров и упала; "Бензин кончился", подумал Штирлиц
    Я слышал это в такой интерпретации.
    Штирлиц вкатил кошке 10 кубиков бензина; кошка пробежала 10 метров и упала; "Бензин кончился", подумал Штирлиц
    Another month ends. All targets met. All systems working. All customers satisfied. All staff eagerly enthusiastic. All pigs fed and ready to fly.

  9. #29
    Завсегдатай
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    Quote Originally Posted by Soft sign View Post
    In my ideolect, the words ‘записка’ and ‘подписка’ are pronounced with a hard [s], while the word ‘писька’ is pronounced with a soft [sʲ] (the spelling also reflects such pronunciation). So this pun is not a pun for me.
    How do you pronounse these words? Do you use a hard [s] in ‘писька’ or a soft [sʲ] in ‘записка’?
    That's right, they are pronounced and spelled differently, that's why it's not a perfect pun. Still, the words are so close that someone could not help but create a few jokes based on it.

  10. #30
    Почтенный гражданин pushvv's Avatar
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    «Как бы ему нагадить?..» — “What mischief can I make for him?..”

    Yes, like this. I want to do something bad for him, i will do it, but right now i don't know how to do it exactly, and i want to decide(i can ominously rub my hands thinking about it).

  11. #31
    Завсегдатай Throbert McGee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eric C. View Post
    Speaking of Shtirlitz jokes with sexual context... These have been my favorite ones.
    Штирлиц стоял на своем... Это была любимая пытка Мюллера
    Aha, that's a good reminder of the difference between пытка and попытка!

  12. #32
    Завсегдатай Throbert McGee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Soft sign View Post
    In my ideolect, the words ‘записка’ and ‘подписка’ are pronounced with a hard [s], while the word ‘писька’ is pronounced with a soft [sʲ]
    Ahhhaaaaa... (now I understand the joke!).

  13. #33
    Moderator Lampada's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Throbert McGee View Post
    Aha, that's a good reminder of the difference between пытка and попытка!
    Попытка - не пытка. (Старая поговорка)

  14. #34
    Почтенный гражданин pushvv's Avatar
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    In my ideolect, the words ‘записка’ and ‘подписка’ are pronounced with a hard [s], while the word ‘писька’ is pronounced with a soft [sʲ]

    Ничто не мешает сказать "писка", поймет кто угодно (возможно, так правильнее, btw)

  15. #35
    Властелин Valda's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lampada View Post
    Попытка - не пытка. (Старая поговорка)
    Can anyone explain exactly what it means? Like, "Don't ask questons, just do it" ?
    "Особенно упорно надо заниматься тем, кто ничего не знает." - Като Ломб

    "В один прекрасный день все ваши подспудные знания хлынут наружу. Ощущения при этом замечательные, уверяю вас." -Кто-то

  16. #36
    Почтенный гражданин Soft sign's Avatar
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    «Попытка — не пытка» means something like “Trying to do something never hurts you”; “It's always better to try than to do nothing”.
    Please correct my English

  17. #37
    Paul G.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Valda View Post
    Can anyone explain exactly what it means? Like, "Don't ask questons, just do it" ?
    Literally it's translated as "a try is not a torture", it means something like "your try can't be a torture", "no one tortures you if you try". Usually we say it to a person who thinks over "to do or not to do". Or like kinda a motto if you try to begin something and need to encourage yourself, like "no one blames me if I just try".

  18. #38
    Moderator Lampada's Avatar
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    попытка - an attempt

  19. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by pushvv View Post
    Ничто не мешает сказать "писка", поймет кто угодно (возможно, так правильнее, btw)
    Сказать-то можно, но такого слова нет (нужен мягкий знак), поэтому это будет не только неправильно, но и зачастую непонятно. "Что это было? Я не расслышал.. Описка? Приписка? Записка? ... Песка"?" )

  20. #40
    Завсегдатай Throbert McGee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Valda View Post
    Can anyone explain exactly what it means? Like, "Don't ask questons, just do it" ?
    "It couldn't hoit," as they say in Brooklyn.

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