Your translation is very awkward because you are trying too hard to keep the English word order the same as the Russian - it looks like you just used Google translate actually, or just translated word for word with a dictionary.

Also the original English is unclearly worded.

Take the first sentence: Although I am all for the standardizing of English in the USA, you likely cannot give Driver License exams in one language, at least not constitutionally.
What does it mean: "you cannot give Driver License exams in one language"? I understand that it means "you cannot make a law mandating that Driver's License exams can only be given in one specific language" but the wording is not clear on that.

When translating you would try to understand the meaning of the sentence and reword it in a natural way in the target language.

something like this: закон, который обязывает проведение тесты на водительские права только на английском, вероятно, противоречит конституцию

At the end regarding Свои мысли or Ваши мысли, it depends. The way it's written, it should be Я бы переписал ваши мысли, but you could also reword it so that Свои мысли makes sense: Я советую вам переписать свои мысли.