Thread: Translation Please !!

how can i transtlate this into russian

a million words would not bring you back i know cuz i've tried - but neither would a million tears...i know cuz i've cried

Did you make that up eMAD?

no really... i found it on internet ...liked to...so i wanted a translation..hope u help

Ни милионы слов тебя мне не вернут, я знаю, я пытался
Ни миллионы слез... Я знаю, я пытался.

thanks !!

Originally Posted by eMAD

a million words would not bring you back i know cuz i've tried - but neither would a million tears...i know cuz i've cried

Nice.
Can you use the word "плакался"?

Ни миллионы слов тебя мне не вернут, я знаю, я пытался
Ни миллионы слез... Я знаю, я плакался.

...

Originally Posted by kwatts59

Originally Posted by eMAD

a million words would not bring you back i know cuz i've tried - but neither would a million tears...i know cuz i've cried

Nice.
Can you use the word "плакался"?
Ни миллионы слов тебя мне не вернут, я знаю, я пытался
Ни миллионы слез... Я знаю, я плакался.

Нет, в этом контексте не можешь сказать "плакался".
Слово "плакаться" есть, но оно синоним слова "жаловаться".

Not word by word translation. But it has rhyme.

Я знаю, слова тебя не вернут - я их миллион произнес
Я знаю, и слезы тебя не вернут - пролил я море слез

Guys!!! ..im lost dunno what to choose ?! .... which one !!

Ни милионы слов тебя мне не вернут, я знаю, я пытался
Ни миллионы слез... Я знаю, я пытался.

It's better variant. But
Ни милионы слов тебя мне не вернут, я знаю, я пытался
Ни миллионы слез... Я знаю, я плакал.

более точный перевод! НО ВЕРХНИЙ ТОЖЕ ПРАВИЛЬНЫЙ И БОЛЕЕ КРАСИВЫЙ

ok cool ! now lets go to spell it..ill spell it and tell me if its right ? okay ?

Ни милионы слов тебя мне не вернут, я знаю, я пытался
Ни миллионы слез... Я знаю, я плакал.

- ni millione slav tebya mne nye vernout , ya znayou ,ya pitalsya
ni millione slez ..ya znayou ,ya plakal

...but tell me which one is better...u guys each one gives me something different ....

can u help me translating it word by word ..ya znayou

Use this variant, it sounds better, but it is not an exact translation.

Ни миллионы слов тебя мне не вернут, я знаю, я пытался
Ни миллионы слёз... Я знаю, я пытался.

Nee millionui slov tebya mne nee vernut, ya snayoo, ya puitalsya
Nee millionui clyoz... ya znayoo, ya puitalsya

Neither a million words will return you to me, I know, I tried
Nor a million tears... I know, I tried.

BTW: There are two л's in миллионы.

mariashara's translation sounds much better for me because it has a rhyme =)

kwatts59, даже если бы слово "плакался" подходило здесь по смыслу, оно не рифмуется с "пытался"

пытался
плакался

Yeah, mine is much better!

Originally Posted by mariashara

Yeah, mine is much better!

Russian-translator's is MUCH better. I back up his (her?) translation becuase I'm a translator too and evaluate the work done as very close to what it must be.

Nevertheless, your translation is quite right, but awkward in some points.

Originally Posted by Rtyom

Russian-translator's is MUCH better. I back up his (her?) translation becuase I'm a translator too and evaluate the work done as very close to what it must be.

Rtyom, can you say why do you think so? I'm not a translator, but for me the rhyme "я пытался - я пытался" sounds weird and i think it is not a correct translation for "i've cried"

OK, I'll try to put it simple.

The aim of every translation is accounted in rendering the message of the sender into the equivalent message for the recipient. In accord with this task, a translator does several cognitive operations which come to understanding the sense of the original message from the point of view of the addressor and choosing a strategy to maintain the right understanding of the message from the part of the addresse.

Strategies are numerous, and that is why all translations are different. Of course, it's not the only factor influencing the result. For example, individuality of a translator can appear and the original strategy may deviate in some points. The best you can do is to avoid serious deviations that could distort the original.

Applying this to the two translations of the original (0), by Russian-translator (1) and Mariashara (2) we have the following.


0.

a million words would not bring you back i know cuz i've tried - but neither would a million tears...i know cuz i've cried[

1.

Ни милионы слов тебя мне не вернут, я знаю, я пытался
Ни миллионы слез... Я знаю, я пытался.

Indeed, before translating there is a big text analysis. It's very complex, and sometimes many items are simply omitted. I'm sure that Russian-translator didn't do it at all for simple reasons.

A. The phrase is out of any possible context.
B. It's message is, let me say, kind of universal.
C. And it's not intended to make a certain influence on the reader (at least in this thread of the forum).

Judging from this, the strategy chosen is very simle, or so to say basic. Russian-translator fulfiled the request of eMAD in the way the latter wanted by giving the accurate idea of the original message. To shorten my reasoning, I'd say that what is rendered is the body of the message, the emotional input of the message, and the mental correlation of the message.

The first is the appropriate Russian constructions, the second is the state of the person who said the words, the third is the final polishing of the translation, which is concluded in the right design of the same thought in the Russian culture.

The translation is not literal, literalness is always 90% false.

2.

Я знаю, слова тебя не вернут - я их миллион произнес
Я знаю, и слезы тебя не вернут - пролил я море слез

Mariashara's translation is not bad. But it's not RIGHT. Firstly, she distorted the original body by moving the words in the sentence. Secondly, following the previouse distortion, she added some other words, which absolutely inadmissible. Thirdly, by representing the image of "море слёз" she finally gets another picture of the situation. She can't know what happened to that person, she can't know how s/he cried after that.

Moreover, Mariashara tried to "lyricise" the line, thinking it is a part of a song or something like this. eMAD didn't say where he picked the phrase up, so we don't know exactly where it belongs to. Being unprofessional in "lyricsing", she didn't follow, to my thinking, any rules of it, just making in the way which sounds better to her. It looks cute, but positively out-of-the-way.

In comparison to the (1) translation, this is totally non-translator work, which shows not the message of the addressor to the addresse, but the "transmitter" senses and disposition. Though, the (1) is creative and lyrical.

As I see, there was no real strategy chosen either. It's just the mix of intentions and possibilities.

Mariashara, please don't be cross with me! Your translation is done well for people here to understand approximately what it can be in Russian, and you did it. But translation isn't just art of putting the substituing words.

P.S. I tried to put it simple and hope my stand is clear. However, everything is more intricate than I just told you.

Bravo ...just as the *explaination as mine ...has a logical brain ...give answer ..and doesnt let a hole !! ....thank you guys ! ....

Rtyom, all what you've written is very interesting and it's right indeed, but IMHO that's not about poetic translation. So let me remain with my opinion =)