The Russian way would be less fancy, more direct IMHO, something like this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oi0YIPxFmaQ
First you (or somebody else) bear, bear, bear, accumulating the annoyance inside, and at some point you fire away something really rude. For example, you could just replace your "Improve your negative and impolite character " with "Завязывай быть стервой" (quit being a bitch), which would make a good combination with your moderate "introduction":
Я дарю тебе вещь, которая дороже любой драгоценности: этот простой короткий совет.

This reminded about our favourite Dude, who told once:
Well that's your perception. . .
Well you're right, Walter, and the
unspoken Message is FUCK YOU AND
LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. . . Yeah,
I'll be at practice.