translate song

Hello,
I have wrote a song for a special girl and tried to translate it to russian myself but it not go well because I don't know the russian idioms and phrases and the song go not-understood,
I thought maybe I can ask for someone here to help me do this:

"Dear Yulia,
It's been a long time since we met last time.
And I had so much good time with you then.
I want to stare your beauty eyes and see how much they glowing,
I want to kiss your hot lips, until they burn me on fire,
I want to stroke (petting) your shiny hair, and smell its flavor,
I want to touch your soft skin, and feel your amazing body.
I really miss you now,
Let me meet you one more time…"

It needs to sound romantic in russian, but please don't use words like "love" I don't want to scare her...
If you can make it strung russian rhymes, but if no then never mind.
If you don't understand something please ask me.

please help me,
thanking you in advance.

Direct translation (no rhyme, no rhythm):

"Дорогая Юля/Юлия,
Прошло много времени с тех пор как мы встречались последний раз.
Как хорошо мне было с тобой тогда!
Я хочу смотреть в твои прекрасные глаза и видеть как они сияют,
Я хочу целовать твои жаркие губы, до тех пока они не зажгут меня, (? I used meaning 'set on fire')
Я хочу гладить твои блестящие волосы и вдыхать их аромат,
Я хочу ласкать твою нежную кожу и ощущать твоё восхитительное тело.
Я очень по тебе скучаю сейчас,
Позволь мне встретится с тобой еще раз..."

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Alex80

Direct translation (no rhyme, no rhythm):

"Дорогая Юля/Юлия,
Прошло много времени с тех пор как мы встречались последний раз.
Как хорошо мне было с тобой тогда!
Я хочу смотреть в твои прекрасные глаза и видеть как они сияют,
Я хочу целовать твои жаркие губы, до тех пока они не зажгут меня, (? I used meaning 'set on fire')
Я хочу гладить твои блестящие волосы и вдыхать их аромат,
Я хочу ласкать твою нежную кожу и ощущать твоё восхитительное тело.
Я очень по тебе скучаю сейчас,
Позволь мне встретится с тобой еще раз..."

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Hello,
First, thank you very much for spending time helping me :)

I have a few wonders/questions about the translate:
1. "Как хорошо мне было с тобой тогда!" - what I meant to say is "I really enjoyed be with you" is it match the russian translate?
2. "до тех пока они не зажгут меня" - "until they burn me" (I do want them to burn me) - can I delete "не" or it needs to reformulate?
and last thing - is it sound romantic in russian?

thanks again!

Quote:

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what I meant to say is "I really enjoyed be with you" is it match the russian translate?

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Overall idea is the same. Also you can use "Мне так нравилось проводить время с тобой". Word-to-word translation can look strange for natives. "Я действительно наслаждался будучи с тобой" ehhh... We don't say so.

Quote:

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"until they burn me" (I do want them to burn me)

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So, it will be "Я хочу целовать твои жаркие губы, до тех пор пока они не сожгут меня (дотла)" then.
"дотла" word can be used. It is enforcer: "...to the ashes".

Quote:

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can I delete "не" or it needs to reformulate

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No. If you check this with google you should know - it can make mistakes. It is wrong about "не" particle here.
P.S.
Oh, I missed word "пор" in idiom "до тех пор пока" (until). You can recheck. Now google translates it correctly too.

Quote:

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is it sound romantic in russian?

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It is definitely romantic love letter.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Alex80

Overall idea is the same. Also you can use "Мне так нравилось проводить время с тобой". Word-to-word translation can look strange for natives. "Я действительно наслаждался будучи с тобой" ehhh... We don't say so.


So, it will be "Я хочу целовать твои жаркие губы, до тех пор пока они не сожгут меня (дотла)" then.
"дотла" word can be used. It is enforcer: "...to the ashes".


No. If you check this with google you should know - it can make mistakes. It is wrong about "не" particle here.
P.S.
Oh, I missed word "пор" in idiom "до тех пор пока" (until). You can recheck. Now google translates it correctly too.



It is definitely romantic love letter.

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That's great,
But just about the line: "до тех пор пока они не сожгут меня" - says "do not burn me" but I want her lips to burn me (I'm waiting for it),
how do I reformulate correctly? or maybe it's not sound good in russian?

Quote:

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But just about the line: "до тех пор пока они не сожгут меня" - says "do not burn me"

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It does not. What it does say: until they burn me.

Trust me on that.

until = пока не

Ok,
Thank you everyone for helping me I really appreciate it.
have a nice day :)