Thread: Never thought I would ask to translate

My close friend needs urgent help in translation for work, she was asked to translate some poem, she translated that, but if some problems with English can be fixed, that would be a great help. I personally do not see major problems, but I am not sure about articles there. Anyhow, if someone helps, I would be very thankful for the help to my friend

Original:


translation:
When all the World I do love Divinely,
I Russian feel myself as well as Georgian,
As well as Jew or Azerbaijanian,
As well as Osset or Armenian,
And Spainish, yes, I am, and Scandinavian,
And African at the same time as American;
I'm Asian and European simultaneously.

When all the World I do love Divinely,
I'm Orthodox, I'm Catholic, I'm Baptist,
I'm Lutheran, I'm Moslim and I'm Buddhist,
For God is heart and gist of every faith
And He is Love itself, oh yes, He is, --
Love that is an unfailing source of joy for us;
And it's above
All nations, races, faiths, that Love,
Love that created all of us in former times.
And that who all the world does love Divinely
For all the people he has affinity.

When all the World I do love Divinely,
I put into my heart all the humanity
Regardless of their nations, races, faiths,
And I alloy them all into a unity.
And from my heart that's overflowed with love
A perfect image emerges as Noah's dove --
The union of our planet named Earth
Where only one religion reigns henceforth:
Immortal Love!

For God is heart and gist of every faith
And He is Love itself, oh yes, He is, --
Love that is an unfailing source of joy for us;
And it's above
All nations, races, faiths, that Love,
Love that created all of us in former times.

The word "gist" is very informal. Maybe "essence" is better.

Ведь сущность всех религий - Бог, который есть Любовь.
Она же дарит счастье всем всегда и внов, и вновь,
Она же выше всех религий, национальностей и рас,
Она всех сотворила нас.

Truely, the essence of all faiths is God, who is Love.
Love always gives such happiness to all of us again, and again,
It is far above all religions, nationalities and races,
Love created all of us.

You can slam me for being too literal.

kwatts59, thanks.

No need for articls before words like Catholic, Orthodox, Jew, Muslim?

I agree gist is informal... essence or soul may be a better choice of words... "For God is the heart and soul of every faith"

above - maybe transcends... "And it transcends all nations, races, faiths, "

"And that who all the world does love Divinely
For all the people he has affinity "

perhaps...

"And that love which all the world does love Divinely
For all people he has affinity"

"I put into my heart all humanity "... strike the word "the"

"And from my heart that's overflowing with love"... overflowing rather than overflowed...

Hope that helps...

Sounds more poetic without the article, in my opinion...

Originally Posted by Pioner

kwatts59, thanks.

No need for articls before words like Catholic, Orthodox, Jew, Muslim?

I am a Catholic
I am Catholic

Both sound ok to me. But I think it sounds better to leave out the article.

You are welcome.

Originally Posted by Pioner

kwatts59, thanks.

No need for articls before words like Catholic, Orthodox, Jew, Muslim?

There need to be an article before "Jew" or you must say "Jewish"

I did not see that DDT. Thanks.

I am a Jew
I am Jewish

"I am a Jew" sounds very awkward to me.
What do you think?

thanks a lot every1.

I am Russian, Georgian, Jew, Azerbaijani,
I am Osset, Armenian, Spanish,
I am Scandinavian and African
and at the same time American;

(Not sure of the term for Ossetians)

Please don't say: I Russian feel myself....

It is a list of how the person feels, yes - but for the grace of God you are born into your nationality. Who knows what your nationality was in your past life or what it will be in the next? So, the speaker could have been all of these.

kwatts59, I am a Jew seems ok to me when you're naming nationalities.