Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 21

Thread: Need Help With Novel

  1. #1
    Новичок
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    3
    Rep Power
    0

    Need Help With Novel

    Hi,

    I am a writer currently working on a novel and need help with translation. Since the novel is in English, the translation should be phonetic.

    In a scene, a Russian man is calling a Russian woman a traitor. I did my best to find this on my own, and this is what I came up with:


    Pre DAA tyel

    The line in the book is: “Pre DAA tyel!” he yelled, slapping her face. “Pre DAA tyel, pre DAA tyel!”

    I'm meaning to say: “Traitor!” he yelled, slapping her face. “Traitor, traitor!” I can't write that though, because the one hearing the argument is American, and isn't supposed to know what's being said.

    Also, if there are any members willing to help with Russian broken English (how a Russian might say something in English while only knowing a little), please let me know. The book is scheduled for release early next year.

    Thanks!

  2. #2
    Властелин
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Сварга
    Posts
    1,391
    Rep Power
    12
    No problem, post your questions here and they will be answered.

    to start with, "predatyel" is one word and it's better to write it this way.
    This word is screamed out loudly, right? You can write it then as "predaaatyel", to emphasize it was a shout

  3. #3
    Новичок
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    3
    Rep Power
    0
    The word is "traitor." A man is calling a woman a traitor.

    I need to know the Russian, phonetic translation.

    Thanks!

  4. #4
    Завсегдатай
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    My Time & Space
    Posts
    6,559
    Rep Power
    16
    Male traitor - предатель. Pronounced like: pridatel'
    Female traitor - предательница. Pronounced like: pridat'el'nitsa
    «И всё, что сейчас происходит внутре — тоже является частью вселенной».

  5. #5
    Завсегдатай kalinka_vinnie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Sunnyvale, Cali
    Posts
    5,771
    Rep Power
    15
    So your novel should read:

    “Pridatelnitsa!” he yelled, slapping her face. "Pridatelnitsa, pridatelnitsa!”
    Hei, rett norsken min og du er død.
    I am a notourriouse misspeller. Be easy on me.
    Пожалуйста! Исправляйте мои глупые ошибки (но оставьте умные)!
    Yo hablo español mejor que tú.
    Trusnse kal'rt eturule sikay!!! ))

  6. #6
    Властелин
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Illinois
    Posts
    1,115
    Rep Power
    12
    What's the name of the novel? (So I can read it, of course.)
    Corrupting young minds since May 6, 2004.

  7. #7
    Завсегдатай
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Serving Polonium-flavoured Sake at a London Japanese Restaurant
    Posts
    2,662
    Rep Power
    12
    Quote Originally Posted by kalinka_vinnie
    So your novel should read:

    “Pridatelnitsa!” he yelled, slapping her face. "Pridatelnitsa, pridatelnitsa!”
    Sounds like a page from KV's memoirs!
    Заранее благодарю всех за исправление ошибок в моём русском.

  8. #8
    Завсегдатай
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Seventh
    Posts
    4,113
    Rep Power
    15
    "Yelled" is quite a low register word. Get your thesaurus out.
    Ingenting kan stoppa mig
    In Post-Soviet Russia internet porn downloads YOU!

  9. #9
    Завсегдатай
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    My Time & Space
    Posts
    6,559
    Rep Power
    16
    "Rebel-yelled" will intensify it.
    «И всё, что сейчас происходит внутре — тоже является частью вселенной».

  10. #10
    Завсегдатай
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Seventh
    Posts
    4,113
    Rep Power
    15
    Quote Originally Posted by Rtyom
    "Rebel-yelled" will intensify it.
    By low register I mean, it's less formal/stylistic, the type of word you would say, but not use in writing.
    Ingenting kan stoppa mig
    In Post-Soviet Russia internet porn downloads YOU!

  11. #11
    Завсегдатай
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    My Time & Space
    Posts
    6,559
    Rep Power
    16
    Quote Originally Posted by TATY
    Quote Originally Posted by Rtyom
    "Rebel-yelled" will intensify it.
    By low register I mean, it's less formal/stylistic, the type of word you would say, but not use in writing.
    Damn, I was inattentive.

    I think "yelled" is just alright. Or do you have stricts laws in using words in fiction?
    «И всё, что сейчас происходит внутре — тоже является частью вселенной».

  12. #12
    Завсегдатай kalinka_vinnie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Sunnyvale, Cali
    Posts
    5,771
    Rep Power
    15
    I don't think the dude wanted writing-style tips, guys
    Hei, rett norsken min og du er død.
    I am a notourriouse misspeller. Be easy on me.
    Пожалуйста! Исправляйте мои глупые ошибки (но оставьте умные)!
    Yo hablo español mejor que tú.
    Trusnse kal'rt eturule sikay!!! ))

  13. #13
    Завсегдатай
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Seventh
    Posts
    4,113
    Rep Power
    15
    Quote Originally Posted by kalinka_vinnie
    I don't think the dude wanted writing-style tips, guys
    He needs them.

    Maybe it's because I'm a Brit, and we don't use the word "yell" that much. We nearly always would say "shout", or "cry"
    Ingenting kan stoppa mig
    In Post-Soviet Russia internet porn downloads YOU!

  14. #14
    Завсегдатай
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Posts
    3,216
    Rep Power
    13
    “Pridatelnitsa!” he ejaculated, percussing her physiognomy. "Pridatelnitsa, pridatelnitsa!”

  15. #15
    Завсегдатай
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    My Time & Space
    Posts
    6,559
    Rep Power
    16
    "He vociferated" looks relevant to my lame mind.
    «И всё, что сейчас происходит внутре — тоже является частью вселенной».

  16. #16
    DDT
    DDT is offline
    Завсегдатай DDT's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    I have given up the Gambling, the Wine and the Cows!.. I'm back now! ....nope Im gone again!
    Posts
    3,364
    Rep Power
    14
    How about, "He ragged on her for being such a traitor and all"?
    Let me be a free man, free to travel, free to stop, free to work, free to trade where I choose, free to choose my own teachers, free to follow the religion of my fathers, free to talk, think and act for myself. - Chief Joseph, Nez Perce

  17. #17
    Завсегдатай
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    las vegas
    Posts
    1,687
    Rep Power
    12

    Re: Need Help With Novel

    Quote Originally Posted by llama
    Also, if there are any members willing to help with Russian broken English (how a Russian might say something in English while only knowing a little), please let me know. The book is scheduled for release early next year.
    I think Russians often speak English without using the articles "a" and "the" since articles do not exist in Russian.

    Eg.
    "He went to car to get book" instead of "He went to the car to get a book"

    Also the present tense of the verb "to be" does not exist in Russian.

    Eg.
    "She pretty" instead of "She is pretty".
    Какая разница, умереть богатым или бедным?

    Какой толк от богатства если ты не счастлив.

  18. #18
    Властелин
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Residing in an unknown place
    Posts
    1,400
    Rep Power
    11
    I think Russians often speak English without using the articles "a" and "the" since articles do not exist in Russian.
    That's why we learn English! If things were so easy, it'd be super easy to master English. The only thing you'd have to do would be - to learn words.
    "A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read"
    Mark Twain
    American author/essayist (1835-1910)
    WHSmith

  19. #19
    Почтенный гражданин
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Англия
    Posts
    358
    Rep Power
    10

    Re: Need Help With Novel

    Quote Originally Posted by kwatts59
    I think Russians often speak English without using the articles "a" and "the" since articles do not exist in Russian.

    Eg.
    "He went to car to get book" instead of "He went to the car to get a book"

    Also the present tense of the verb "to be" does not exist in Russian.

    Eg.
    "She pretty" instead of "She is pretty".
    Yeah, but the latter would be interpreted as intentionally poor English for effect, wheras "he went to get book" is just... wrong.
    Ленин пил
    Ленин пьёт
    Ленин будет пить

  20. #20
    Новичок
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    3
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by TATY
    Quote Originally Posted by kalinka_vinnie
    I don't think the dude wanted writing-style tips, guys
    He needs them.

    Maybe it's because I'm a Brit, and we don't use the word "yell" that much. We nearly always would say "shout", or "cry"



    Thanks everyone for the helpful translation advice.

    TATY, I'll pass your writing tips onto the following authors:

    "Helen," he yelled. "What happened?" -- Stephen King (Insomina)


    "Who the hell cares," he yelled. "Go get em Greg!" -- Stephen King (The Dead Zone)



    "Get out!" she yelled. "Just get out!" -- Dan Brown (Digital Fortress)


    "What the hell is going on here?" he yelled. "Why haven't yuo started the case?" -- Robin Cook (Blindside)

    He yelled a warning: "They're going to drown us!" -- Clive Clusser (White Death)

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Russian Lessons                           

Russian Tests and Quizzes            

Russian Vocabulary