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writing a book, and need some help with translations
Hello. I have been working on a science fiction novel for almost six years. The story is a secret war between the Soviets and Americans on both the moon and Mars, 1970-1986. I have a few paragraphs I need good translations from English to Russian. Please let me know if this is OK here.
Thanx
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Re: writing a book, and need some help with translations
It's o.k. as long if somebody will be willing to do it and as long if you would not mind in response to help somebody here with their translations from Russian to English. :-D
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Re: writing a book, and need some help with translations
Thank You. I would be willing to explain any English phrase or cultural American thing, but I don't know any Russian so I couldn't help with translations.
If anyone is willing to help me, here goes.
Quote:
Good morning. This is the first broadcast of Radio Free Luna, and my name is Ilya Tarasov. We will be transmitting on the unsecured Soviet channel. It is presently zero six hundred, Moscow time. Radio Free Luna will have world news at the beginning of each hour, and the rest of the program will be music. We will broadcast twenty-four hours a day. We will play American pop and rock and roll music. We hope you enjoy our show.
In the news...
Manned Spacecraft Center in Houston, Texas, USA decided to investigate all Apollo spacecraft subsystems and the engineering organizations responsible for them at Manned Spacecraft Center, and their prime contractors, in response to Apollo 13 Review Board’s recommendations regarding the system failures earlier this year of the Apollo 13 spacecraft.
Today marks the first visit to the USA of Prince Charles and Princess Anne of the United Kingdom. Their itinerary includes a barbeque at Camp David, the American President's mountain retreat, and a visit to the White House with American President Nixon. Last night they attended a country and western music show by Russ Gurr and the Western Union, performing country songs and yodeling.
Also today in the news, Iraq's new constitution goes into effect. Iraq's independence from British colonialism heavily influenced the new constitution. Iraq intends to manage its country and resources independent of foreign investment. Iraq's chief export is oil.
Thank You...
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Re: writing a book, and need some help with translations
Quote:
Originally Posted by kahless
... , but I don't know any Russian so I couldn't help with translations. ...
I think I did get that much from your post. :wink:
But if you could find time to check something already translated for grammatical errors, it would be nice.
E.g. here starting from chapter 9: viewtopic.php?f=29&t=15804&p=199256&hilit=cracklin g#p199256
No rush! :-D
Thanks in advance for all your help!
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Re: writing a book, and need some help with translations
Quote:
Originally Posted by kahless
Thank You. I would be willing to explain any English phrase or cultural American thing, but I don't know any Russian so I couldn't help with translations.
Do you need a plain cyrillic Russian text or a kind of transliteration into latin alphabet?
- zero six hundred, Moscow time
Never seen such kind of time description. Is it typical for USA or SF Moon slang?
- world news on the hour, and music played around the clock
Does it mean "Each our an issue of world news and music rest of time"?
What is "western" in music? I know only what is western movie.
What is "the late crew"?
What is MSC?
- Today marks the first visit of the Prince Charles
What did they visit? USA? Shouldn't it be mentioned? Nixon is a president of what?
Does "barbeque" mean picnic?
"Western Union" means the name of music band?
Also if it is in Russian maybe some objects like Camp David need more comments to explain what is it? :)
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Re: writing a book, and need some help with translations
Thank You. Yes plain cyrillic Russian text is good.
Zero six hundred is 6 am, military time. time in a day starts one minute after midnight (zero hundred and one) and goes until midnight (twenty-four hundred hours)
"world news on the hour", means we report the world news at the beginning of each hour. music the rest of the time means that when not broadcasting the news, they are broadcasting music.
"Country and western" is a classification of music, which includes western, or cowboy music, and country, which tends to be mostly be mostly country folk or farmers. Why it is classified together is because it is often hard to tell the difference between the two.
Late crew would be the late shift of broadcasters, doing the late show.
MSC is an abbreviation of Manned Spacecraft Center is responsible for the design, development, and operation of human space flight. (American)
Yes, Prince Charles and Princess Anne visited the US for the first time, and visited with then President Nixon of the US at the White House.
Barbecue (BBQ) is a popular way to have a cookout in the US. It is usually cooking meat on a grill over a fire made usually out of charcoal, basting the meat with a tangy sauce made of tomato, sugar, smoke flavoring and spices. Very popular to do in the summer when it is hot and people want to cook outside.
Yes Western Union was the name of Russ Gurr's band.
I will go back and edit the piece to be translated.
Thank You so much
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Re: writing a book, and need some help with translations
I moved it over to the post you asked about.
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Re: writing a book, and need some help with translations
Thank you so much Kahless! :-D
Yeah, I think it would be better to place in Ramil's topic.
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Re: writing a book, and need some help with translations
Quote:
Originally Posted by kahless
Thank You. I would be willing to explain any English phrase or cultural American thing, but I don't know any Russian so I couldn't help with translations.
If anyone is willing to help me, here goes.
Quote:
Good morning. This is the first broadcast of Radio Free Luna, and my name is Moriz Tarasov. We will be transmitting for the first day on the unsecured Soviet channel and moving to 90.1 FM at zero six hundred tomorrow. It is presently zero six hundred, Moscow time. Radio Free Luna will have world news at the beginning of each hour, and the rest of the program will be music. The morning show will start with classical and Russian folk music, at fourteen hundred the second shift will play American country and western, and at twenty-two hundred, the late shift will play American rock and roll until zero six hundred. We hope you enjoy our show.
Доброе утро. Это первая трансляция Радио "Свободная Луна", моё имя Мориц Тарасов. В первый день, мы будем вести трансляцию по открытому Советскому каналу, а завтра в шесть утра переведём вещание на частоту 90.1 FM. Сейчас 6 утра по московскому времени. Радио "Свободная Луна" будет передавать мировые новости каждый час, далее в программе - музыка. Утренняя трансляция начнётся с классической и русской народной музыки. В четырнадцать часов, вторая смена будет транслировать американское кантри и западную музыку, а в двадцать два часа, третья смена будет передавать американский рок до 6 утра следующего дня. Надеюсь, вам понравится.
Quote:
]In the news…
Manned Spacecraft Center in Houston, Texas, USA moved to reassess all Apollo spacecraft subsystems and the engineering organizations responsible for them at MSC and its prime contractors, in response to Apollo 13 Review Board recommendation 9 regarding the system failures earlier this year of the Apollo 13 spacecraft.
В новостях...
Центр управления космическими полётами в Хьюстоне, США поручил ответственным конструкторским бюро провести проверку всех подсистем космических кораблей Аполло по рекомендации ревизионной комиссии, проводившей расследование сбоев систем космического корабля Аполло 13 ранее в этом гому.
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Today marks the first visit to the USA of Prince Charles and Princess Anne of the United Kingdom. Their itinerary includes a barbeque at Camp David, the American President's mountain retreat, and a visit to the White House with American President Nixon. Last night they attended a country and western music show by Russ Gurr and the Western Union, performing country songs and yodeling.
Also today in the news, Iraq's new constitution goes into effect. Iraq's independence from British colonialism heavily influenced the new constitution. Iraq intends to manage its country and resources independent of foreign investment. Iraq's chief export is oil.
I didn't catch the red part so I translated it as close as I could understand.
Продолжается первый визит в США Принца Чарльза и Принцессы Анны из Соединённого Королевства. В программе их визита намечен пикник с барбекью в Кемп-Дэвиде, посещение Горы американских президентов, а также встреча в Белом Доме с президентом Никсоном. Вчера вечером они посетили концерт Расса Гурра и группы Вестерн Юнион, исполняющих музыку в стиле кантри (yodeling???)
Также, в новостях сообщение о том, что сегодня вступает в силу новая конституция Ирака. Провозглашение независимости Ирака от Британского колониализма сильно повлияло на новую конституцию. Ирак намеревается управлять своей страной и ресурсами независимо от иностранных инвестиций. Напомним, что основным экспортным продуктом Ирака является нефть.
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Re: writing a book, and need some help with translations
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ramil
В четырнадцать часов, вторая смена будет транслировать американское кантри и западную музыку, а в двадцать два часа, третья смена будет передавать американский рок до 6 утра следующего дня. Надеюсь, вам понравится.
там we
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Re: writing a book, and need some help with translations
Quote:
В первый день_ мы будем вести трансляцию по открытому Советскому каналу
В четырнадцать часов_ вторая смена будет транслировать американское кантри и западную музыку, а в двадцать два часа_ третья смена будет передавать американский рок до 6 утра следующего дня.
Это "английские" запятые.
И я бы сказала "с четырнадцати часов". И "с двадцати двух".
So:
C четырнадцати часов вторая смена будет транслировать...
and
а с двадцати двух часов третья смена будет передавать американский рок...
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провести проверку всех подсистем космических кораблей "Аполлон" по рекомендации ревизионной комиссии, проводившей расследование сбоев систем космического корабля "Аполлон-13" ранее в этом году.
Quote:
Это первая трансляция Радио "Свободная Луна", меня зовут Мориц Тарасов
Or, like they say on radio stations, "и с вами Мориц Тарасов".
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Re: writing a book, and need some help with translations
Oh, and the spacecraft is called "Аполлон" in Russian.
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Re: writing a book, and need some help with translations
yodeling
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In Alpine folk music, it was probably developed in the Swiss Alps as a method of communication between mountain peaks, later becoming part of the region's traditional music. In Persian and Azeri classical music, singers frequently use tahrir, a yodeling technique that oscillates on neighbor tones. In Georgian traditional music, yodelling takes the form of krimanchuli technique, and is used as a top part in three/four part polyphony. In Central Africa, Pygmy singers use yodels within their elaborate polyphonic singing. Yodeling is often used in American bluegrass and country music. According to the Oxford English Dictionary the word yodel is derived from a German word jodeln (originally Bavarian) meaning "to utter the syllable jo".
Check out this utube video of an 11 year old girl yodeling in a song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SwSkDhyd40k
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Iraq's independence from British colonialism heavily influenced the new constitution.
Iraq was a British colony, and won its independence. The new Iraqi government wrote the new Iraqi constitution determined to be free of foreign influence, in both their finance and government.
Thank You
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Re: writing a book, and need some help with translations
Looks like I am late. :) But OK, here is my version:
Quote:
С добрым утром. Вы слушаете первую передачу радио "Свободная Луна", с вами Илья Тарасов. В первый день мы вещаем на открытом советском канале. Московское время - шесть утра ровно. Радио "Свободная Луна" передает мировые новости в начале каждого часа, а все остальное время - музыку. Мы вещаем круглосуточно. В нашей программе - американская эстрада и рок-н-ролл. Желаем приятного прослушивания.
В новостях:
В ответ на пожелания комиссии по расследованию неполадок систем корабля «Аполлон 13», случившихся в начале этого года, Центр пилотируемых полетов, расположенный в Хьюстоне штата Техас, США, принял решение о перепроверке всех подсистем кораблей «Аполлон», а также ревизии конструкторских бюро, ответственных за работу этих систем перед ЦПП, и его основных подрядчиков.
Продолжается первый дружественный визит в Соединенные Штаты наследного принца Соединенного Королевства Чарльза и принцессы Анны. Программа визита включает трапезу на свежем воздухе в Кемп Дэвиде, горной резиденции президента США, а также посещение Белого Дома и встречу с президентом Никсоном. Вчера вечером они посетили концерт вокально-инструментального ансамбля народной песни "Вестерн Юнион" под руководством Расса Гурра, исполнявшего песни в стиле "кантри" и тирольские народные песни.
Также сегодня в новостях: вcтупила в силу новая конституция Ирака. Обретенная независимость Ирака от британского колониализма существенно повлияла на новую конституцию. Ирак намерен осуществлять внутреннюю политику и распоряжаться своими природными ресурсами независимо от иностранного капитала. Основная статья экспорта Ирака - нефть.
Edit: Few corrections taken from Ramil's translation added.
Edit: More and more corrections... :)
Edit: Updated, 2nd paragraph from alexB.
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Re: writing a book, and need some help with translations
Да блин!...
Quote:
Originally Posted by it-ogo
космического корабля "Аполлон", а также ответственные за них перед ЦПП и его первичными подрядчиками проектные организации. Пересмотр был произведен согласно рекоммендации 9 наблюдательного совета "Аполлона-13", касающейся ряда системных сбоев, произошедших ранее в этом году на космическом корабле "Аполлон-13".
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Re: writing a book, and need some help with translations
Quote:
Originally Posted by it-ogo
...горной резиденции президента США
:thumbs:
:D
I thought that American President's mountains is this:
http://prezkennedy.org/modules/myalbum/photos/318.jpg
Now I know that it's Mount Rushmore National Memorial :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by it-ogo
[s:38buz3qy]вошла[/s:38buz3qy] вступила в силу новая конституция.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Оля
Да блин!...
Да забей. ))
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Re: writing a book, and need some help with translations
[quote=Ramil] Quote:
Originally Posted by it-ogo
...горной резиденции президента США
Я знаю, шо такое Маунт Рашмор, однако
"American President's mountain retreat"<>"Mount Rushmore National Memorial"
No?
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Originally Posted by "Оля":c7el51ud
Да блин!...
[/quote:c7el51ud]
Принято. Будем править. Клиент заинтересован в окончательном варианте текста.
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Re: writing a book, and need some help with translations
Всё-таки, раз автор специально указывает время в 24-часовом формате, значит, это ему зачем-то нужно. К тому же программу обычно объявляют именно в 24-часовом формате.
Так что, я бы оставил "четырнадцать часов" и "двадцать-два часа".
А про президентскую гору - это я ступил. Говорю же - думал, что это Рашмор.
И всё-таки, "конституция вошла в силу" не говорят.
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Re: writing a book, and need some help with translations
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ramil
Всё-таки, раз автор специально указывает время в 24-часовом формате, значит, это ему зачем-то нужно.
И не просто в 24-часовом, а в четырехциферном. Я спросил его, что это такое (см выше), он говорит, что это "military time", у нас я ничего такого не встречал.
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К тому же программу обычно объявляют именно в 24-часовом формате.
Так что, я бы оставил "четырнадцать часов" и "двадцать-два часа".
Сейчас- да, а как это было в 60-е - 70-е, кто-нибудь помнит? :) Будем думать...
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И всё-таки, "конституция вошла в силу" не говорят.
Угу, спасибо, исправил. Переклинило что-то, слово забыл.
ПС про "western music" автор говорит, что это "ковбойские" песни, в отличие от кантри - "фермерских".
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Re: writing a book, and need some help with translations
Now one problem more. What is the origin of the name "Moriz"? Is it German?
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Re: writing a book, and need some help with translations
I found Moriz in a list of Russian male first names on the internet as a Russian version of the English name Morris, Spanish Mauricio, French Maurice, meaning Moorish or a dark haired man
I hope someone tells me when a complete translation that is the best is made. Since you are all conversing in Russian and I don't speak it at all, I would be a poor judge of the best translation.
Also...Lampada, did you want me to look at the grammar on part 7 of that post you showed me, or all parts of that post?
Thank You
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Re: writing a book, and need some help with translations
Морис Тарасов sounds very strange and odd. You would hardly find any Russian whose name is Морис. The name is not Russian and not common in Russia at all. Take the name Ivan. :wink:
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Re: writing a book, and need some help with translations
Quote:
Originally Posted by kahless
I found Moriz in a list of Russian male first names on the internet as a Russian version of the English name Morris, Spanish Mauricio, French Maurice, meaning Moorish or a dark haired man
Than it should be Maurice, I think, because of the French communist Maurice Thorez. You see, Cyrillic transliteration can be different. Now it is OK. This name is rare but possible.
Quote:
I hope someone tells me when a complete translation that is the best is made. Since you are all conversing in Russian and I don't speak it at all, I would be a poor judge of the best translation.
Take the last one (mine), because I have taken into account previous translation and composed final version from the most successfull parts of both. :) I am not going to make more changes until someone point out more bugs. Well... You can wait a couple of days and then take a text from that post.
viewtopic.php?f=1&t=16558#p203813
I'll check the topic regularly and modify the text if there are more complaints and\or advices.
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Re: writing a book, and need some help with translations
What if the invitation to BBQ was with BYOB? :wink:
Simpsons on my mind.
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Re: writing a book, and need some help with translations
Quote:
Originally Posted by it-ogo
This name is rare but possible.
Possible for someone who is not Russian but whose roots are in Russia (so he has a Russian surname).
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Re: writing a book, and need some help with translations
[quote=Оля] Quote:
Originally Posted by "it-ogo":qeln0g37
This name is rare but possible.
Possible for someone who is not Russian but whose roots are in Russia (so he has a Russian surname).[/quote:qeln0g37]
There was a period (even several periods) in USSR when it was a fashion to give children foreign names. So the combination of "Maurice Tarasov" is virtually possible for USSR and even can be flavorful mark of time. Though I am not sure about timing: maybe one can calculate when Maurice Thorez gained publicity in USSR and how old should be "Maurice Tarasov" at the time of Apollo 13? ;)
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Re: writing a book, and need some help with translations
I, personally, never met anyone with such name. More over, I can't recall anyone of well-known people who has it. And more over, even if there is virtual possiblity of existing someone with this name in Russia, he should be a very unlucky man because the combination "Морис Тарасов" sounds quite ugly.
I know, for example, there is a physicist Жорес Алферов, but first, he must be the only one in the whole Russia who bears this name and second, he's a well-known person, and if you hear some strange and ugly name quite often, it becomes less strange and ugly, and ultimately you just become used to it.
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Re: writing a book, and need some help with translations
I personally find nothing phonetically disgusting in "Maurice Tarasov". Maybe it is a bit funny, nothing more. Jaurès Alferov is really ugly, I do agree. But let us remember some names of well known persons of that generation: Robert Rozhdestvenskij, Bella Akhmadulina, Roy Medvedev(=swarm of bears if translated to English literally), Rem Vjakhirev, German Titov... These ones I was able to recall right now. Each of them (but Akhmadulina :)) is pure Russian AFAIK. Aren`t their names ugly?
I don't say that fashion was nice...
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Re: writing a book, and need some help with translations
Quote:
Originally Posted by it-ogo
But let us remember some names of well known persons of that generation: Robert Rozhdestvenskij, Bella Akhmadulina, Roy Medvedev, Rem Vjakhirev, German Titov... These ones I was able to recall right now.
Please read carefully what I wrote above:
Quote:
but ... he's a well-known person, and if you hear some strange and ugly name quite often, it becomes less strange and ugly, and ultimately you just become used to it.
The names you mentioned are not "ugly", now they are just habitual for us.
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Re: writing a book, and need some help with translations
Quote:
Please read carefully what I wrote above:
but ... he's a well-known person, and if you hear some strange and ugly name quite often, it becomes less strange and ugly, and ultimately you just become used to it.
Err... But those persons were not well-known when they got their names. Were they? My point was not about "now" but about that time. I say: "Maurice Tarasov" for Russian USSR-born guy of that time may be historically correct and even flavorful, that's all.
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Re: writing a book, and need some help with translations
Quote:
I found Moriz in a list of Russian male first names on the internet as a Russian version of the English name Morris, Spanish Mauricio, French Maurice, meaning Moorish or a dark haired man
By the way, the Russian equivalent for all these names is Маврикий. It is outdated though and is not used nowadays. As for Морис (Moris, not Moriz!), it's just a transliteration for the French name Maurice.
Quote:
Originally Posted by it-ogo
But those persons were not well-known when they got their names.
Sure. I bet you'd choke over if you were listening to some new radio station and suddenly would hear "...и с вами Рой Медведев / Морис Тарасов". :D
Or, in the second case, you would just think it's Boris, not Moris.
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Re: writing a book, and need some help with translations
ah... well Morris, the English version is very rare in the US. I know of no famous American with this name. I have met only two Morris in my lifetime, besides my grandfather, whom I am named for. Kahless? That is just a name after a Klingon from Star Trek
:wink:
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Re: writing a book, and need some help with translations
Quote:
Originally Posted by kahless
ah... well Morris, the English version is very rare in the US. I know of no famous American with this name. :wink:
You forget Morris the Cat :lol:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...is_the_Cat.jpg
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Re: writing a book, and need some help with translations
I'll tell you what, How about you guys give me some good Russian men's first names that would be Ok, and I will choose the one I like best, if I haven't already used it.
Thank You
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Re: writing a book, and need some help with translations
Quote:
Originally Posted by kahless
I'll tell you what, How about you guys give me some good Russian men's first names that would be Ok, and I will choose the one I like best, if I haven't already used it.
Thank You
OK. Here are some most ordinary Russian names with no risk. Oleg, Sergey, Vladimir, Boris, Aleksey, Aleksandr, Dmitry, Yury, Nikolaj, Ilja, Gennady, Anton, Artjom, Eugeny, Igor, Pavel...
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Re: writing a book, and need some help with translations
Moriz Tarasov sounds nice.
It's not a Russian name, but in this context it adds some charm.
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Re: writing a book, and need some help with translations
Dmitry, Sergey, Yury, Vladimir, Aleksey, Pavels, Boris, Aleksandr, and Nikolaj I have already used. Is Pavel or Pavels correct?
Eugeny is the Russian version of Eugene, which is the first name of the American commander.
I like Ilya, but as I add more names in book two, (sequel has already been started) I will remember the others.
So... Let's change Moris to Ilya.
Thank You again.
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Re: writing a book, and need some help with translations
Quote:
Originally Posted by kahless
Is Pavel or Pavels correct?
Pavel is correct. (=Paul)
Quote:
Eugeny is the Russian version of Eugene
Actually, "Eugeny" is Eugene-like adaptation of this name. Correct phonetic transliteration is "Jevgenij" - maybe it is more exotic. :)
Quote:
So... Let's change Moris to Ilya.
Translation is updated (the second one).
English analog of Ilya is Elijah.
BTW hadn't you problems with Russian patronic names? It is enough complicated matter to recognize when they should be used and when should not. :)
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Re: writing a book, and need some help with translations
no I have a list of patronic names and I think I understand the difference between Petr and Petrovich, and feminizing like converting Ivanov to Ivanova, etc...
To ЯНА ШЕСТОПАЛОВА, who are you wanting to speak with and what about?
Thanx (I know it is misspelled, done so on purpose, sort of and internet style thing with me) for the translation update
I will work some more on the translation of page 10 that I was originally asked to look at by Lampada. I have only one hour of computer time a day for writing and such, I do it on lunch break at work. I commute 2 hours a day to work so my time is short.
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Re: writing a book, and need some help with translations
Ok, last question on this. Keep in mind this is July 16, 1970.
What would be a good song to open up Radio free Luna's first program. Keep in mind this is the classical and Russian folk Music segment of the show, the morning show. What I want to know is, what would a Russian solider in the Soviet Army in 1970 want to listen to?
The part should say something like this...
Now we will play music as we promised. (Introduce the song and who plays or sings it, and let me know what you are saying in English)
Thanx