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Thread: Taken from Facebook: You Know You're Russian When ___

  1. #1
    Почётный участник Sgt. Cold's Avatar
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    Taken from Facebook: You Know You're Russian When ___

    You know you're Russian when... | Facebook

    When your parents got every single picture of you when you were a kid

    When your parents are extremely judgmental towards you and everybody else

    When you know which Russian store has a sale and when

    When you like Russian candy above all others

    When you think people are stupid for not liking Russian candy

    When, if you start something you have to finish it, and finish it perfectly

    When you get extremely pissed off if Slutskaya doesnt win the gold in the Olympics

    When you know most of Russian athletes

    When you hanged out at Bathurst and Steeles so long you know how much a loaf of bread is in the Russian bakery

    When you never feel like you are getting paid enough for the hard work you do every day

    When all of your close friends ask you to teach them swear words

    When your mp3 collection has at least 3 Russian songs on it

    When you mastered every single swear word there is

    When the time comes, you swear in Russian to give it more effect

    When your grandmother has a hat that she made herself

    When someone in your family owns or owned a german shepherd

    When if you need to count something you count in Russian

    When you think that Masha Rasputinas boobs are way to big for her

    When you find Maxim Galkin funny

    When you wear a fur coat in warm weather to show off

    When you dress up for a simple night out

    When you get pissed of when people say shit about Stalin

    When you have at least one Russian artifact in your house

    When your parents or extended family talk to an english speaking person in Russian believing that if they yell louder they will be understood

    When you want everything and anything with a russian flag on it

    When you find Alexei Nemov hot

    When you are damn proud of every Russian wrestler or boxer there is out there

    When you laugh out loud at Russian Rap

    When you allow yourself to be the only one out of your company to make fun of Russia


    *When your relatives are the only people who can pronounce your last name,otherwise you tell people what it sounds like yourself.

    *You have at least one bottle of Vodka somewhere in your household

    *Your display of artifacts or pretty things includes a perfectly positioned Matreshka

    *If you play computer games instead of video games

    *Age of Empires is the coolest game alive

    *If your mother has more than 10 plants in the house

    *If one or more of your relatives have computer programming as their second language

    *If you laugh at Eltsin and make fun of him but get offended when others do

    *When any celebration brings with it the making of a turkey be it thanksgiving or not.

    *When caviar is considered an ordinary addition to a meal not a delicacy

    *When boiled cows tongue is a delicacy

    *When you know at least 4 Andrews,4 Mashas,3 Anasstasias,and almost 20 Alex's

    *When your dad is the master of haggling for a price

    *When you know and met some of the real estate agents,and if you didnt meet them you know their names by heart from TV ads

    *When you or your parents watch Russian Waves

    *When you listen to either the olden CCCR stuff or Dima Bilan and etc

    *When your family celebrates the passing of the Old year and not just the New Year (Provozhat' Starii God)

    *When,if a stranger walks into the house they will smell pelmennii

    *When olivi'e and vinigret is made almost with every celebretionary dinner

    *When you dont know what gift to buy someone,so you end up buying a set of really nice glasses or some kind of posuda

    *When you don't smile at strangers, and if someone smiles at you, you think something's wrong.

    *When you never drink vodka without zakuska.

    *When you know a perfect cure for hangover - pickle (rassol).

    *When you know that Russian education is the best.

    *When you think than growing your own fruits and vegetables is common practice.

    *When you had a cat called Murka, dog called Sharik and a parrot called Kesha.

    *When you are paranoid about punctuation.

    *If your mother combines bright blue eye shadow and bright red or bright pink lipstick with dark red lip liner, and your father finds it beautiful.

    *When you find yourself wearing a gazoviy sharfik and a beret, just cause it look sophisticated.

    *When your friends are over, and they go looking in your fridge...then you hear, "What the hell is Kvass???"

    *When your car costs more than your college education

    *When, anything you wear, you're constantly wearing leather

    *When you cant drink without a "тост"

    *When your uncle is in the Russian Mafia (Yes, people there really is one!! lol) or a former member of KGB

    *When old Russian grandmas walk by, you can still smell them an hour later.

    *You have a personalized license plate

    *When your phone has a ringtone of the Russian National Anthem

    *When you're constantly re-writing cd's, copying movies, and have lost all knowledge of what copyright means

    *When you have a Rolex/Cartier (nobody can tell its fake from far away)

    *When your parents used to tape you talking on a tape recorder, when you were 2 years old.

    *When theres a family celebration, your dad and/or uncle end up singing a Russian folk song, really loudly and out of tune completely

    (FOR GUYS)
    *When you believe that Russian girls are the hottest type there is.

    *When you know, without a doubt, that Russian guys are the horniest...and the sexiest guys out there.

    *When anything could be cured by Zilonka,Sour Cream, Butter, or Tea. and i mean..anything..

    *When you have carpet glued or hanging on your wall

    *When your parents are seriously strict about your marks, and you keep having "yeah your parents are strict?...well my parents" discussion with your friends

    *When you've watched Ironya Sudbi Ili S Lehkim Parom, on New years at least once.

    *When you get pissed off anytime someone thats not Russian calls one of those warm furry hats a "Babushka".

    *When the only thing your parents ever watch,quote or look forward to are the Rtvi, Rtvi+,or Pervii Kanal.

    *When your father can always find a reason to drink

    *When you know, without any shadow of a doubt that any other cartoon, is pure shit compared to the Russian Classics.

    *When you sing kuda edem me s pitochkom close to every minute of your life.

    *When you know that there won't be a single Russian person out when KVN's on, that or a soccer (of FOOTBALL in normal European terms)match

    When you have to explain to people that your parents have the same last name, even though your mom has an "a" at the end of it and your dad doesn't

    *When you're eternally bruised if people call pel'meni is ravioli...CLEARLY TO ALL OF YOU NON RUSSIANS OUT THERE>>>RAVIOLI IS ITALIAN NOT RUSSIAN..jeeezz get it straight

    *When you constantly keep having to remind those Americans that Rocky IV was fake

    *When you always argue with your Canadian friends which hockey team is better Russia or Canada, the argument always somehow leads into that game in 1972.

    *When you eat those sandwiches with kolbasa and black tea for breakfast

    *When you express yourself in Russian, even when you're surrounded by others (its not your fault, some stuff cant be translated)
    • kuskina mat'...
    • yolki palki...
    • kto tam...cto gram...

    *When your phone is always answered by a happy go lucky.. "alyo"

    *When your parents tell you to imrove your marks no matter what it costs you.

    *When you're asked about your marks you take the deffensive stance and state that the teachers at school think your marks are good, and everybody elses marks are worse. (Even though that doesnt work,it helps a little)

    *When girls wear high heels to school

    *When on family nights, games include intellectual challenges as well, such as Dominoes, Chess and Checkers.

    *When hanging out at Second Cup until closing playing chess with buddies, and just talking is perfectly normal.

    *When the natural and most common reply to a yes or no question can be "da net, navernoye" and it only makes sense in Russian for Russian people, whereas if you translate that into..English.."Yes maybe not.." ??WTF?!?
    "It's dangerous to be right when the government is wrong." --- Voltaire ---
    -- Исправьте мои ошибки --

  2. #2
    Завсегдатай it-ogo's Avatar
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    Mostly occasional, several obvious, few have a point.
    "Россия для русских" - это неправильно. Остальные-то чем лучше?

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