Quote Originally Posted by Оля
Quote Originally Posted by doninphxaz
For instance, a Russian college instructor is likely to say, "You are a really weak student. Study harder or you will fail." In the same context in the US an instructor will feel obliged to say something like, "You have an excellent brain, and if you put a little bit more time into studying, then you will do much better."
Oh my Gooooooooooooood. Is it really so?
No, really, it's quite strange to me. And not to me only, I think...
Yes, this is a huge difference between our cultures. Or at least between parts of it. There is significant pressure in parts of American society to not say things to people that might make them feel bad about themselves. I don't mean to say that everyone in the US acts that way, but the people I consider polite do, for the most part.

A buddy of mine who is a doctor once treated a child with a thyroid condition, if I remember correctly. The child was not taking her medicine consisitently and gained a lot of weight. He told the mother that she needed to actively work with her child to develop the habit of taking the medication on time, otherwise the daughter would always be fat. The mother lodged a complaint against the doctor because he had called her daughter fat. That's how hypersensitive we Americans are sometimes to criticism.

And polite people often will say things indirectly. My mother has observed that if you give direct, unsolicited advice to people, they may be offended. So when she wants to give advice to certain family members, she won't say directly, "Do such-and-such." Instead she'll say, "I remember once that so-and-so had a similar situation, and he did such-and-such. That seemed to work out really well." That way she delivers helpful information without setting off the negative reaction that direct advice might set off.