Thread: Lenin's statue at Красная площадь (Vegas, anyways)

Jokes under socialism: first prize five years in Siberia

In the books for children there used to be stupid little stories telling how kind Lenin had been. So my personal favorite was this skit:

Lenin's widow, Krupskaya was telling a class of Soviet schoolchildren what a kind man Lenin had been.
"One day ", she said, "he was standing outside his dacha shaving himself with a bowl of water and an open razor. A little boy came to watch him and asked him what he was doing. "I'm shaving, little boy", Lenin said.
"Why did that make Lenin a kind man?" asked one of the class.
"Don't you see", said Krupskaya, "he could have cut the little boy's throat but he didn't".

Originally Posted by adoc

In the books for children there used to be stupid little stories telling how kind Lenin had been.

Oh, good old memories. I find these stories hilarious. One girl in my kindergarten used to recite this poem (probably a children folklore):
Я сижу на вишенке
Не могу накушаться
Дядя Ленин говорит
Надо маму слушаться
It's not about how kind he was but навеяло

Когда моей двоюродной сестре (которую зовут Лена) было 5 лет, ей показали статую Ленина и сообщили: "Это дедушка Ленин". Та, внимательно осмотрев статую, авторитетно заявила :"Нет. Не мой".

My mother used to pass on her way to work Пионерский лагерь Вали Котика. One day she asked me задумчиво : "Очень странное имя: почему котика надо валить, а не, допустим, собачку?"

Originally Posted by adoc

Когда моей двоюродной сестре (которую зовут Лена) было 5 лет, ей показали статую Ленина и сообщили: "Это дедушка Ленин". Та, внимательно осмотрев статую, авторитетно заявила :"Нет. Не мой".

My mother used to pass on her way to work Пионерский лагерь Вали Котика. One day she asked me задумчиво : "Очень странное имя: почему котика надо валить, а не, допустим, собачку?"

Дети любят Ленина:
Лысая пельменина!

I'm now reading a book called "Nomenclatura" by Voslensky. Lenin is a very frequently used word there It is hard for me to say in what light the author portrays Lenin in this book. It's a crying shame that there is no statue or at least a picture of Lenin in the book.

...Or maybe an advantage, isn't it?

An advantage of what?

I meant your last words, about pictures.

Originally Posted by fantom605

Whew!

I thought I'd search for some Lenin jokes just to see what they are like, and I came upon this supposedly true item, is this familiar to anyone?

In 1967, the Soviet Government minted a beautiful silver ruble with Lenin in a very familiar pose - arms raised above him, leading the country to revolution. But, it was clear to everybody, that if you looked at it from behind, it was clear that Lenin was pointing to 11:00, when the Vodka shops opened, and was actually saying, "Comrades, forward to the Vodka shops."

It became fashionable, when one wanted to have a drink, to take out the ruble and say, "Oh my goodness, Comrades, Lenin tells me we should go."

I have not heard the story before.

Anyway...
The ruble year 1967, what the joke is talking about.
Really it is not silver.

"Comrades, forward to the Vodka shops."

Well, I remember our school notebooks. They always printed something on their covers. I have a notebook with a picture rendered on its cover that shows a monent of the storm of the Zimny Palace and two dates above 1917 - 1987. We used to write our own inscriptions on the cover. That was funny.

Here I try to describe what it was like.

A seaman waving with his arm calling for the attack - "There's vodka over there!"
A squard of seamen in a lorry - "Where?!"
Zimny's main gates - "Closed due to Gorbatchev's order"
A small group of soldiers shooting at the closed gates - "They've cheated us once again, frauds!!"
1917 - There is already no vodka left.
1987 - The vodka is still absent.

I remember that was amusing. Maybe someone remebers it too.