Thread: Does this sound decent?

I am reciting poetry tomorrow and I need to give a brief introduction to a Mayakovskii poem. I plan on saying something like this.

Это стихотворение Маяковского называется «Небоскрёб в разрезе». В этом произведении автор критикует американские семьи, американскую жизнь и американскую работу. Просто (Is there a way to say, "simply put/said"), им Америка не очень нравится.

I just wanted to see if this sounds strange. How can I make it more russian? Thanks!

Originally Posted by kybarry

Просто (Is there a way to say, "simply put/said")

Просто - fits perfectly

Originally Posted by kybarry

им Америка не очень нравится.

Did you want to say "ему"?
Anyway "Америка не очень нравится" will be incorrect judgment
In 1925 he traveled to America and spent some time there. He was in several places in US and also he traveled to Havana and Mexico. He was reciting his poetry there. And as you may guess there were people who liked it. There were communists in US that time and quite a lot (even around 2000 members now, according to wiki) - Communist Party USA - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. As you may know the idea of communism was widely spread around the world that time
This verse comes from his verse collection - "Verses about the America" Цикл "Стихи об Америке" (1925 год)
And it's been written to show the "disgusting side" (or whatever you may want to call it) of capitalism/non-communism and religion

I did mean to say ему, my mistake. And I guess it would be more appropriate to say "капатализм Америки ему не очень нравится," but in this poem he is attacking family life, racism in America, "artists" in America, and business. Anyway, I appreciate the input, thank you!

Originally Posted by kybarry

but in this poem he is attacking family life, racism in America, "artists" in America, and business.

I don't think you got it correctly then
Маяковский sometimes hard to understand even for native speaker

Originally Posted by kybarry

I did mean to say ему, my mistake. And I guess it would be more appropriate to say "капатализм Америки ему не очень нравится," but in this poem he is attacking family life, racism in America, "artists" in America, and business.

He did not attack family life or artists in America at all. He just chose the worst possible versions of these entries to show that it is what (by his opinion) the capitalism is and what the capitalism leads to.

Perhaps "attacking" was too strong. I only meant to say he mocks a couple, who on their honeymoon is reading advertisements, and demonizes an artist and so on. I think it's reasonable to say, rather, that he criticizes the American system, which is what I want to convey by being specific. So does Он критикует these particular aspects of American society make sense? Or is there a better way to say it?

Originally Posted by kybarry

I think it's reasonable to say, rather, that he criticizes the American system, which is what I want to convey by being specific. So does Он критикует these particular aspects of American society make sense? Or is there a better way to say it?

No, he does not criticize any particular aspects of American society. He criticizes the whole capitalistic system by showing up some specifically selected particular aspects of American society.

P.S. about the couple at their honeymoon - I don't see any mocking or criticizing here, just a plain sentence in contrast to many others.

I understand he is criticizing the American capitalistic system by showing what the system does to particular aspects. Because of capitalism, these institutions have been corrupted. I feel our disparity is over semantics at this point. He shows these aspects in a negative light, he is critical of them, which to me, is criticism. I don't know if критиковать has the same connotation.

With regards to a couple reading advertisements for car sales on their honeymoon, I would say that is certainly mocking. Is he not poking fun at the couple's values? Instead of sharing a love-filled vacation, they are looking for bargains, and the over the top language, saying they are happier than Adam and Eve were, shows the sarcastic tone, no? Again, to me that is mocking.

Having said that, of course I will take your word as far as how to describe what he is doing in Russian.

kybarry, Could you write what you what to convey in English? I think we could translate this. Not a long sentence, wouldn;t take much time.

Originally Posted by kybarry

With regards to a couple reading advertisements for car sales on their honeymoon, I would say that is certainly mocking. Is he not poking fun at the couple's values? Instead of sharing a love-filled vacation, they are looking for bargains, and the over the top language, saying they are happier than Adam and Eve were, shows the sarcastic tone, no? Again, to me that is mocking.

People who drove communistic ideas in 20s in USSR were also obsessed with idea of "free love", one time even marriage was considered atavism. Also materialism was severely criticized by communism. The whole idea of communism was based on perfection of society, where people would be equal in all social ways.
So when couple in a bed being exited for him it should mean only one - they desperately in love (free love ideal) and should not be existed about car sales (neglect of materialism)