Thread: Fire!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your version:

Originally Posted by Chuvak

Well, after stealing a fairly large sum of money he was faced with a new dilemma: what should he spend it on. First he thought he could spend it for (or on) a brand new convertible car, but then he thought twice and resolved to save (spare) it for his retirement. So off he went to the bank where he planned to create a new account in which to put his cash. Unfortunately, the bank happened to be closed, so he had to return another day.

Ideal version:

Well, now that man had stolen a fairly large sum of cash, he was faced with a new dilemmna. What should he spend it on? First he thought he would spend it on a brand new convertible car, but then he thought twice, and resolved to save it for his retirement. So off he when to the bank where he planned to create a new account in which to stash his cash. Unfortunately, the bank happened to be closed so hehad to return on a different day.

Originally Posted by basurero

RedSanchous:

It's was a dark gloomy night on the beach. A storm was brewing overhead and the wind was howling through the trees. Suddenly, a man who wore/wearing a black balaclava on his head stepped out of the shadows and made his way towards a group of picknicers, who were enjoying a nice snack in the sand. He creeped up on them and snatched the bag where their money was. He ran off into the night, one hundred and eighy thousand dollars richer than he was before.

Sorry for the late comment.
one hundred and eighty - I think it's the British way of saying numbers. In AmE they don't say 'and' after "hundred". At least, my English dictionary says so ^)