Thread: Etiquette in Russia/Ukraine/Belarus

Yes, bringing an even number of flowers can make a person believe you're wishing him or her be dead. I'm not superstitious but I won't buy an even number of flowers for someone's birthday. I agree that it's more like a tradition rather than a superstition.

Ah, alright, just thought I'd ask. I asked a Ukrainian woman about the odd number of flowers thing and she didn't know it... She's younger though and has lived in America most of her life.

One of the biggest traditions I know of is the men shaking hands at every meeting, unlike in America, where it's usually only done at the very first meeting.

I knew of one lady that told me that you can't laugh or smile too often or you'll be sad soon after. Not sure what she was talking about.

On the religion thing... If they are Christians then they will of course discuss it with you, even if they don't know whether you're Christian or not.

I definitely knew about buying an even number of flowers/roses, but I didn't know what the reason was. I think this custom exists elsewhere in Europe too. Maybe not everywhere, but some parts.

Since you are talking about church here -- are there any particular considerations for orthodox churches? Are you supposed to cover your head or something like that inside the church? I have never been inside an Orthodox church!

The hand shaking thing was interesting because in Western Europe it's a bit of a class thing for women whether you shake hands. At an elegant party etc, as a woman you should definitely not shake hands. However in work situations (where there is supposedly equality etc) I always shake hands.

Same thing with shoes: In Scandinavia, people who take off their shoes and walk around in their socks indoors are looked down on by certain other people.. (although most people do that). A "sophisticated" person would leave his shoes on indoors, or bring some indoor shoes with him.. The trouble with this is that it is very inconvenient in the winter. Plus some people would instead get annoyed that you walked in with muddy shoes - so if in doubt, it's best to ask. In England one should definitely never take of ones shoes unless changing into other shoes.

What about kissing on the cheeks, is that common in Russia?

Originally Posted by Johanna

I definitely knew about buying an even number of flowers/roses, but I didn't know what the reason was. I think this custom exists elsewhere in Europe too. Maybe not everywhere, but some parts.

Since you are talking about church here -- are there any particular considerations for orthodox churches? Are you supposed to cover your head or something like that inside the church? I have never been inside an Orthodox church!

The hand shaking thing was interesting because in Western Europe it's a bit of a class thing for women whether you shake hands. At an elegant party etc, as a woman you should definitely not shake hands. However in work situations (where there is supposedly equality etc) I always shake hands.

Same thing with shoes: In Scandinavia, people who take off their shoes and walk around in their socks indoors are looked down on by certain other people.. (although most people do that). A "sophisticated" person would leave his shoes on indoors, or bring some indoor shoes with him.. The trouble with this is that it is very inconvenient in the winter. Plus some people would instead get annoyed that you walked in with muddy shoes - so if in doubt, it's best to ask. In England one should definitely never take of ones shoes unless changing into other shoes.

What about kissing on the cheeks, is that common in Russia?

In a church you (as a female I mean) should cover your head with a kerchief and not every church allows women to go in wearing trousers (jeans) - only gowns or skirts are allowed (this isn't universal though).

Women can greet men by giving their hand but you should do it with your palm down. Man shouldn't kiss it (well it's acceptable but looks odd), but shake it with his TWO hands (do not expect Russian males to do it though - many of them simply do not know how to greet a woman - instead he could just shake your hand as he would do with a male). This isn't necessary of course, you can simply wave your hand in greeting. And women do not shake hands with other women.

Kissing on the cheeks is acceptable for close friends (you can kiss both male and female).

shake it with his TWO hands (do not expect Russian males to do it though - many of them simply do not know how to greet a woman - instead he could just shake your hand as he would do with a male).

Huh, I've never heard of it

Originally Posted by jjjiimm

She's younger though and has lived in America most of her life.

It's depends.

In most of the Russian-speaking churches (baptist, pentacostal, etc.) in my area there are women wearing scarves or something else over their head. Some wear them all the time, even if they aren't married. I think this mostly has to do with tradition and nothing to do with the church's requirements. It's a choice. I have no idea about Orthodox...

My father-in-law kisses me on the cheek when greeting and saying farewell. Seems to be a common thing between people that are close with each other...

The only Russian female I've shaken hands with had tattoos and was married to an American.

Another thing to remember, that I didn't see here, was not letting women carry heavy objects. Since men are stronger, they should offer help.

Originally Posted by jjjiimm

My father-in-law kisses me on the cheek when greeting and saying farewell. Seems to be a common thing between people that are close with each other...

About man's kisses... For the first time I've heard about gays was funny movie "Police Academy"

Originally Posted by Waterlaz

shake it with his TWO hands (do not expect Russian males to do it though - many of them simply do not know how to greet a woman - instead he could just shake your hand as he would do with a male).

Huh, I've never heard of it

'

Now you know...

In fact, are you sure? I've never seen anyone do so. Neither in real life nor on television.

Yes, I'm sure. I took some lessons, If a woman gives you her hand you should take it with your both hands and shake it. It would earn you some points if nothing else.

I've thought about it a bit more and now I'm pretty sure that you're wrong about this
What was those lessons you took? And where you took them?

Originally Posted by Waterlaz

I've thought about it a bit more and now I'm pretty sure that you're wrong about this

You're not in a position to judge, really.

What was those lessons you took? And where you took them?

I've been on a two week course called 'the art of sales' (the company I worked for was training its personnel) and a couple of lessons were dedicated to assorted forms of greetings. You take woman's hand with your TWO hands.

Handshakes in American business world: firm grip (not crushing, DEFINITELY NOT a limp/ dead fish hand), 3 shakes, don't linger, that's just weird. One hand both male and female. Shake at most meetings, introduction and follow ups ("Hi Bob, good to see you again"), unless you work together a lot.

I'm in trouble with the yellow flower bit. A female friend loves yellow roses. I call her 'the Yellow Rose of Ryazan' (Yellow rose of Texas joke, it took some time to explain, but she likes it now). A dozen yellow roses...

You're not in a position to judge, really.

Are you sure?

Anyway. Prooflink or... well you know =)

PS I don't know what kind of tricks salesmen do to appeal to their customers. I just know that this is not the general rule.

Originally Posted by Ramil

Yes, I'm sure. I took some lessons, If a woman gives you her hand you should take it with your both hands and shake it. It would earn you some points if nothing else.

Oh.. i've never heard of this either (I'm definitely not an expert on etiquette, though). I believe that there can be a rule somewhere, but nobody uses it, right? Right?
Anyway, this "appropriate" response seems more intimate than an ordinary handshake. I might like it or dislike it depending on the situation and a person who grabs my hand like that, but it will not earn him any extra points, that's for sure.

OK kids, here's a lesson on business handshakes:
http://womeninbusiness.about.com/od/bus ... -Hands.htm
Business Etiquette: 10 Tips on How to Shake Hands With Confidence
How Women Can Communicate They Are Equal in Business

Im laughing at some of those handshake tips, does anyone seriously get into a power struggle/try to crush the other person's hand?

This thread has been pretty interesting for a newbie.

Originally Posted by capecoddah

Handshakes in American business world: firm grip (not crushing, DEFINITELY NOT a limp/ dead fish hand), 3 shakes, don't linger, that's just weird. One hand both male and female. Shake at most meetings, introduction and follow ups ("Hi Bob, good to see you again"), unless you work together a lot.

I'm in trouble with the yellow flower bit. A female friend loves yellow roses. I call her 'the Yellow Rose of Ryazan' (Yellow rose of Texas joke, it took some time to explain, but she likes it now). A dozen yellow roses...

in Poland, if you give yellow flowers to someone it means you don't really wish them well. Well, that's the superstition, people nowadays still buy yellow flowers though.

as for the handshake it's pretty much the same in here. It always makes me laugh when I'm around my male friends and some other guy approaches, he shakes the guys' hands and kind of ignores me cos he just doesn't know how to greet a woman.

I know it's a bit off-topic, but what I found outrageous when being around Spanish people, is that they whistle to get somebody's attention. The first time my friend did that, I went crazy cos in Poland you only whistle at whores and dogs.

I think the greetings that capecoddah listed are appropriate for the USA - but not all etiquette that works there is suitable for Europe. Table manners are quite different for example and plenty more things that I've encountered. In general, I think "When in Rome, do as the Romans". (a common saying that means that one should try to adapt to the country that one is in.)

I agree about Spanish people, lol! In general I really like the country and the people, but it's true that they have have some irritating habits. Particularly blocking exits, escalators etc and holding up the crowds. The concept of avoiding to cause inconvenience to others seems not to be very strong there.

I always thought yellow roses meant "friendship" as opposed to "love". Has anyone else heard this?