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Etiquette in Russia/Ukraine/Belarus
What is rude in the Russian-speaking world?
What etiquette rules should people (particularly foreigners) remember?
Has a foreigner you know done anything that you really got angry or irritated about because it seemed rude or offensive? What was it?
1) Take off the shoes when entering a house/flat? Or leave them on?
2. Bring a small gift / flower / booze when you go to a party?
3. Is it rude to discuss politics or religion at a party?
4. Is it ok for foreigners to complain about things that they might think are bad in Russia? (such as bureacracy or poor service in shops...)
5. Insult famous Russian "icons" like Pushkin, Tsars, Tolstoy, Gagarin, Lenin, Vysotsky, Alla Pugatjova... ?
6. Accidentally saying "ты" when you ought to say "вы" or vice versa?
7. Giving up your seat on the bus or metro (what are the "rules")?
8. Dating in Russia - what should men and women bear in mind that might be different from Europe or North America?
Erm that's all I can think of right now... Please add if you think of more / better examples?
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Re: Etiquette in Russia/Ukraine/Belarus
I visited Russia the summer before and there i visited friends. I always took my shoes off when i entered their houses. They all do that.
Sorry about my English... :thumbs:
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Re: Etiquette in Russia/Ukraine/Belarus
I don't think we Russians have some really strong rules someone shouldn't break. I think we are simplier than people in other countries. Well, of course, if you pick your nose in public, it would be... not rude, but just considered as very very bad manners. People would think you are crazy or something, maybe; and would not like to communicate with you.
P.S. Taking off the shoes when entering a flat often is not needed. It depends on what the hosts say. But if you don't ask if you should take your shoes off, then yes, it can be considered as misbehaviour.
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Re: Etiquette in Russia/Ukraine/Belarus
Taking off shoes is usually just a display of good manners in Russia. Unless the the host specifically says you don't need to, it's a good idea.
Discussing politics, religion or any other serious matters, just depends on the type of party and the people that surround you. If someone wants to strike a conversation about political stories, then why not.
You would give up a seat in public transport if you see an elderly person, or a pregnant woman... Basically, Russian belief is that if you're young, healthy, (and not pregnant) then show some courtesy to the ones in those categories.
About insulting national icons... Where is that OK? :search:
Generally, if you show good intentions, respect, and are sensitive to people around you, you should be fine in Russia.
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Re: Etiquette in Russia/Ukraine/Belarus
Russians buy even number of flowers only for mourning actions.
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Re: Etiquette in Russia/Ukraine/Belarus
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Originally Posted by Johanna
What is rude in the Russian-speaking world?
What etiquette rules should people (particularly foreigners) remember?
Has a foreigner you know done anything that you really got angry or irritated about because it seemed rude or offensive? What was it?
[size=45]1) Take off the shoes when entering a house/flat? Or leave them on?
Look, would you really leave your shoes on after something like this?
http://static.oper.ru/data/gallery/l1048753148.jpg
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2. Bring a small gift / flower / booze when you go to a party?
It's a neutral thing.
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3. Is it rude to discuss politics or religion at a party?
Depends on the company, sometimes it's even refreshing. Although, there is a saying - when guests start talking of politics then it's time to go home.
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4. Is it ok for foreigners to complain about things that they might think are bad in Russia? (such as bureacracy or poor service in shops...)
Hmm, a difficult question. It's allright I think to complain but don't be insulting at that.
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5. Insult famous Russian "icons" like Pushkin, Tsars, Tolstoy, Gagarin, Lenin, Vysotsky, Alla Pugatjova... ?
That depends on your company again. Insulting is one thing but ridicule is another. If your ridicule is smart and has some merit (and the company is right) it will do, but I doubt you will win any points being insulting.
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6. Accidentally saying "ты" when you ought to say "вы" or vice versa?
This can pass. Moreover, your counterpart might offer to stay on 'ты' basis after that. I see nothing wrong in it, especially for a foreigner.
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7. Giving up your seat on the bus or metro (what are the "rules")?
It's considered polite to stand up if an elderly person is standing nearby. Also a woman with some heavy bags. Well, guys can offer thery seat to a pretty girl, for example. If you don't stand up this wouldn't be considered as outrage either.
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8. Dating in Russia - what should men and women bear in mind that might be different from Europe or North America?
Men pay. Women do not. This is the main difference.
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Originally Posted by BappaBa
Russians buy even number of flowers only for mourning actions.
Yes, this is a thing one should remember. You bring odd number of flowers to celebrations and even number of flowers to funerals.
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Re: Etiquette in Russia/Ukraine/Belarus
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Originally Posted by Ramil
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Originally Posted by BappaBa
Russians buy even number of flowers only for mourning actions.
Yes, this is a thing one should remember. You bring odd number of flowers to celebrations and even number of flowers to funerals.
Okay, I'll bite... WHY the odd vs. even thing? :unknown:
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Re: Etiquette in Russia/Ukraine/Belarus
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Okay, I'll bite... WHY the odd vs. even thing?
Nobody remembers the reason.
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Re: Etiquette in Russia/Ukraine/Belarus
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Originally Posted by rockzmom
Okay, I'll bite... WHY the odd vs. even thing? :unknown:
One version is: "Половина - покойнику, половина - Богу"...
A half for the the deceased a half for God
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Re: Etiquette in Russia/Ukraine/Belarus
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Originally Posted by Johanna
8. Dating in Russia - what should men and women bear in mind that might be different from Europe or North America?
A man should not bring yellow flowers to his woman.
Some women believe that yellow colour is colour of treachery (?unfaithfulness, infidelity? неверность,измена).
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Re: Etiquette in Russia/Ukraine/Belarus
I can add something: men shake hands with men, women do neither with men nor with women.
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Re: Etiquette in Russia/Ukraine/Belarus
Discussing religion, politics, ethnicity-related things or money is a very sleepy thing internationally, nevermind in Russia or elsewhere. Salespeople are trained that.
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Re: Etiquette in Russia/Ukraine/Belarus
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Re: Etiquette in Russia/Ukraine/Belarus
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Originally Posted by Ленивец
correction: slippy thing
lol, actually it's "slippery thing"! :)
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Originally Posted by Ленивец
I can add something: men shake hands with men, women do neither with men nor with women.
Oh interesting. I'll bear that in mind. Thanks!
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Re: Etiquette in Russia/Ukraine/Belarus
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Originally Posted by Johanna
lol, actually it's "slippery thing"! :)
But somebody wants to sleep when hear such things.
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Re: Etiquette in Russia/Ukraine/Belarus
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Originally Posted by Johanna
Oh interesting. I'll bear that in mind. Thanks!
I think it is better you use not only mind but the paper also. ;-) There are still a plenty of such interesting things. Nobody can keep in mind they all.
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Re: Etiquette in Russia/Ukraine/Belarus
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lol, actually it's "slippery thing"!
Thank you! (I hope it's not flood)
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Re: Etiquette in Russia/Ukraine/Belarus
There are several things that considered bad omens like to whistle inside a house or keep empty bottles on a table.
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Re: Etiquette in Russia/Ukraine/Belarus
Aside from the important (and universal) ettiquette, why learn the superstitions? Not all of them are like that and nobody should expect you to buy an odd number of flowers if you're from America or some other foreign country.
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Re: Etiquette in Russia/Ukraine/Belarus
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Originally Posted by jjjiimm
..nobody should expect you to buy an odd number of flowers if you're from America or some other foreign country.
Yeah, except of those Russians who believe that buying an odd number of flowers is a universal law of ettiquette. Not everyone knows that it doesn't matter in other countries. :D Others can percieve this not as a superstition, but more more as a tradition.
Anyway, it's always good to be a little more perceptive than your average tourist. ;)
What about whistling and similar things - nobody really takes them seriously, though some can comment on this "slur" in a joking manner.
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Re: Etiquette in Russia/Ukraine/Belarus
Yes, bringing an even number of flowers can make a person believe you're wishing him or her be dead. :D I'm not superstitious but I won't buy an even number of flowers for someone's birthday. I agree that it's more like a tradition rather than a superstition.
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Re: Etiquette in Russia/Ukraine/Belarus
Ah, alright, just thought I'd ask. I asked a Ukrainian woman about the odd number of flowers thing and she didn't know it... She's younger though and has lived in America most of her life.
One of the biggest traditions I know of is the men shaking hands at every meeting, unlike in America, where it's usually only done at the very first meeting.
I knew of one lady that told me that you can't laugh or smile too often or you'll be sad soon after. Not sure what she was talking about.
On the religion thing... If they are Christians then they will of course discuss it with you, even if they don't know whether you're Christian or not.
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Re: Etiquette in Russia/Ukraine/Belarus
I definitely knew about buying an even number of flowers/roses, but I didn't know what the reason was. I think this custom exists elsewhere in Europe too. Maybe not everywhere, but some parts.
Since you are talking about church here -- are there any particular considerations for orthodox churches? Are you supposed to cover your head or something like that inside the church? I have never been inside an Orthodox church!
The hand shaking thing was interesting because in Western Europe it's a bit of a class thing for women whether you shake hands. At an elegant party etc, as a woman you should definitely not shake hands. However in work situations (where there is supposedly equality etc) I always shake hands.
Same thing with shoes: In Scandinavia, people who take off their shoes and walk around in their socks indoors are looked down on by certain other people.. (although most people do that). A "sophisticated" person would leave his shoes on indoors, or bring some indoor shoes with him.. The trouble with this is that it is very inconvenient in the winter. Plus some people would instead get annoyed that you walked in with muddy shoes - so if in doubt, it's best to ask. In England one should definitely never take of ones shoes unless changing into other shoes.
What about kissing on the cheeks, is that common in Russia?
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Re: Etiquette in Russia/Ukraine/Belarus
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Originally Posted by Johanna
I definitely knew about buying an even number of flowers/roses, but I didn't know what the reason was. I think this custom exists elsewhere in Europe too. Maybe not everywhere, but some parts.
Since you are talking about church here -- are there any particular considerations for orthodox churches? Are you supposed to cover your head or something like that inside the church? I have never been inside an Orthodox church!
The hand shaking thing was interesting because in Western Europe it's a bit of a class thing for women whether you shake hands. At an elegant party etc, as a woman you should definitely not shake hands. However in work situations (where there is supposedly equality etc) I always shake hands.
Same thing with shoes: In Scandinavia, people who take off their shoes and walk around in their socks indoors are looked down on by certain other people.. (although most people do that). A "sophisticated" person would leave his shoes on indoors, or bring some indoor shoes with him.. The trouble with this is that it is very inconvenient in the winter. Plus some people would instead get annoyed that you walked in with muddy shoes - so if in doubt, it's best to ask. In England one should definitely never take of ones shoes unless changing into other shoes.
What about kissing on the cheeks, is that common in Russia?
In a church you (as a female I mean) should cover your head with a kerchief and not every church allows women to go in wearing trousers (jeans) - only gowns or skirts are allowed (this isn't universal though).
Women can greet men by giving their hand but you should do it with your palm down. Man shouldn't kiss it (well it's acceptable but looks odd), but shake it with his TWO hands (do not expect Russian males to do it though - many of them simply do not know how to greet a woman - instead he could just shake your hand as he would do with a male). This isn't necessary of course, you can simply wave your hand in greeting. And women do not shake hands with other women.
Kissing on the cheeks is acceptable for close friends (you can kiss both male and female).
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Re: Etiquette in Russia/Ukraine/Belarus
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shake it with his TWO hands (do not expect Russian males to do it though - many of them simply do not know how to greet a woman - instead he could just shake your hand as he would do with a male).
Huh, I've never heard of it :roll:
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Re: Etiquette in Russia/Ukraine/Belarus
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Originally Posted by jjjiimm
She's younger though and has lived in America most of her life.
It's depends.
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Re: Etiquette in Russia/Ukraine/Belarus
In most of the Russian-speaking churches (baptist, pentacostal, etc.) in my area there are women wearing scarves or something else over their head. Some wear them all the time, even if they aren't married. I think this mostly has to do with tradition and nothing to do with the church's requirements. It's a choice. I have no idea about Orthodox...
My father-in-law kisses me on the cheek when greeting and saying farewell. Seems to be a common thing between people that are close with each other...
The only Russian female I've shaken hands with had tattoos and was married to an American. :)
Another thing to remember, that I didn't see here, was not letting women carry heavy objects. Since men are stronger, they should offer help.
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Re: Etiquette in Russia/Ukraine/Belarus
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Originally Posted by jjjiimm
My father-in-law kisses me on the cheek when greeting and saying farewell. Seems to be a common thing between people that are close with each other...
About man's kisses... For the first time I've heard about gays was funny movie "Police Academy"
http://blogboy.ru/wp-content/uploads...oyster-bar.jpg
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Re: Etiquette in Russia/Ukraine/Belarus
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Originally Posted by Waterlaz
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shake it with his TWO hands (do not expect Russian males to do it though - many of them simply do not know how to greet a woman - instead he could just shake your hand as he would do with a male).
Huh, I've never heard of it :roll:
'
Now you know... :D
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Re: Etiquette in Russia/Ukraine/Belarus
In fact, are you sure? I've never seen anyone do so. Neither in real life nor on television.
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Re: Etiquette in Russia/Ukraine/Belarus
Yes, I'm sure. :D I took some lessons, If a woman gives you her hand you should take it with your both hands and shake it. It would earn you some points if nothing else.
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I've thought about it a bit more and now I'm pretty sure that you're wrong about this :roll:
What was those lessons you took? And where you took them?
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Re: Etiquette in Russia/Ukraine/Belarus
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Originally Posted by Waterlaz
I've thought about it a bit more and now I'm pretty sure that you're wrong about this :roll:
You're not in a position to judge, really. :roll:
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What was those lessons you took? And where you took them?
I've been on a two week course called 'the art of sales' (the company I worked for was training its personnel) and a couple of lessons were dedicated to assorted forms of greetings. You take woman's hand with your TWO hands.
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Re: Etiquette in Russia/Ukraine/Belarus
Handshakes in American business world: firm grip (not crushing, DEFINITELY NOT a limp/ dead fish hand), 3 shakes, don't linger, that's just weird. One hand both male and female. Shake at most meetings, introduction and follow ups ("Hi Bob, good to see you again"), unless you work together a lot.
I'm in trouble with the yellow flower bit. A female friend loves yellow roses. I call her 'the Yellow Rose of Ryazan' (Yellow rose of Texas joke, it took some time to explain, but she likes it now). A dozen yellow roses... :shock:
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Re: Etiquette in Russia/Ukraine/Belarus
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You're not in a position to judge, really.
Are you sure? :wink:
Anyway. Prooflink or... well you know =)
PS I don't know what kind of tricks salesmen do to appeal to their customers. I just know that this is not the general rule.
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Re: Etiquette in Russia/Ukraine/Belarus
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Originally Posted by Ramil
Yes, I'm sure. :D I took some lessons, If a woman gives you her hand you should take it with your both hands and shake it. It would earn you some points if nothing else.
Oh.. i've never heard of this either (I'm definitely not an expert on etiquette, though). I believe that there can be a rule somewhere, but nobody uses it, right? Right?
Anyway, this "appropriate" response seems more intimate than an ordinary handshake. I might like it or dislike it depending on the situation and a person who grabs my hand like that, but it will not earn him any extra points, that's for sure. :wink:
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Re: Etiquette in Russia/Ukraine/Belarus
OK kids, here's a lesson on business handshakes:
http://womeninbusiness.about.com/od/bus ... -Hands.htm
Business Etiquette: 10 Tips on How to Shake Hands With Confidence
How Women Can Communicate They Are Equal in Business
http://www.priorinsurance.net/images..._handshake.jpg
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Re: Etiquette in Russia/Ukraine/Belarus
Im laughing at some of those handshake tips, does anyone seriously get into a power struggle/try to crush the other person's hand? :lol:
This thread has been pretty interesting for a newbie.
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Re: Etiquette in Russia/Ukraine/Belarus
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Originally Posted by capecoddah
Handshakes in American business world: firm grip (not crushing, DEFINITELY NOT a limp/ dead fish hand), 3 shakes, don't linger, that's just weird. One hand both male and female. Shake at most meetings, introduction and follow ups ("Hi Bob, good to see you again"), unless you work together a lot.
I'm in trouble with the yellow flower bit. A female friend loves yellow roses. I call her 'the Yellow Rose of Ryazan' (Yellow rose of Texas joke, it took some time to explain, but she likes it now). A dozen yellow roses... :shock:
in Poland, if you give yellow flowers to someone it means you don't really wish them well. Well, that's the superstition, people nowadays still buy yellow flowers though.
as for the handshake it's pretty much the same in here. It always makes me laugh when I'm around my male friends and some other guy approaches, he shakes the guys' hands and kind of ignores me cos he just doesn't know how to greet a woman.
I know it's a bit off-topic, but what I found outrageous when being around Spanish people, is that they whistle to get somebody's attention. The first time my friend did that, I went crazy cos in Poland you only whistle at whores and dogs.
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Re: Etiquette in Russia/Ukraine/Belarus
I think the greetings that capecoddah listed are appropriate for the USA - but not all etiquette that works there is suitable for Europe. Table manners are quite different for example and plenty more things that I've encountered. In general, I think "When in Rome, do as the Romans". (a common saying that means that one should try to adapt to the country that one is in.)
I agree about Spanish people, lol! In general I really like the country and the people, but it's true that they have have some irritating habits. Particularly blocking exits, escalators etc and holding up the crowds. The concept of avoiding to cause inconvenience to others seems not to be very strong there.
I always thought yellow roses meant "friendship" as opposed to "love". Has anyone else heard this?