Thread: Does traveling together ruin friendships?

I know a lot of you people travel a lot, so here is the thing I was thinking about today...traveling kind of breeds dislike for others doesn't it?

For example my freind really liked this one chick so they went to England together and now he hates her. Hes married anyway though.

And last year I want to Paris with my mom. We normally get along marvelously BUT not in Paris. She planned a thousand things to do everyday but I wanted to sit somewhere and do sketches and talk to people.

So I am planning an eventual trip to Russian and I was thinking its better not to go with anyone I would like to remain friends with afterwards.

I would agree in certain situations. If you travel with family, or even a significant other, your bound to run into problems.

But, on the other hand, if you travel with friends and have a laid-back attitude, things usually go pretty well I think. I travel with my buddies a lot, and we always have a great time wherever we go. Granted, when I was in russia with my friend for two months, seeing him every day all day got to be a little annoying, but I wouldn't say I hate him now or anything like that.

tdk

I went to Russia this summer for a month with 14 other people that were relatively unknown to me (aside a few from classes). The 15 of us that went were not all buddy-buddy, but we all did manage to get along fairly well. I would definitely agree with tdk2fe that if you travel with those close to you, more than likely you will run into some problems. At least from my experience.

My best advice is to set some "rules" down before you go. Make it clear that you might want to do some things on your own while you're there, etc.

Some people should definitely take at least a little time to seriously think about how compatible they might be with the person they are traveling with - even if they are the best of friends. I believe it's possible a person may view their companion in a different light after a negative travel experience - but I'm not so sure if it will actually end up as hatred, though. Thinking about this ahead of time can be an important part of the planning stages that can either turn your journey into a fantastic trip - or one of sheer misery. I have really given some thought about this for a long time now, considering past travel experiences - most of which I accomplished just going solo . . . which has probably been for the best. Making friends along the way usually turns out to be the most memorable part. If there's one thing I've always felt adamantly about . . . is to avoid, at absolutely all costs, traveling with a total whiner who easily develops a negative attitude when the slightest mishap or simple inconvience occurs during a trip. However, this can be really difficult to predict with anyone before going.

The freedoms when traveling independently while dealing with less personal complications and disagreements along the way are just way too hard to live without.

iwrotedrowning's advice about setting down some 'rules' is a good idea, so you can at least get some guidelines established.

Just try to find out what each other wants out of the trip before going. Find out what you want to see and where you want to go, that way you will minimize bickering in foreign countries. And you don't have to do EVERYTHING together.

Originally Posted by kalinka_vinnie

And you don't have to do EVERYTHING together.

try telling that to my mom. But yeah, I think this is the main thing people have to agree on.

I pretty much agree with Moongazer's point of view. Making international friends on trips is always an awesome experience. I think what made things go pretty well with my friend while I was there is the fact that we're pretty independent people - he'd go off with people he met sometimes and I went my seperate way, too.

I think the only time when you really start to encounter problems is when your with somebody who is either insecure or really afraid of being alone. That's when they start to get clingy and you start to feel like a babysitter. The trip I was on was with a group of more people that I didn't know until I got there, but one guy actually went with his mom for a study abroad thing. They were both very nice people, but it got really annoying when his mom couldn't do anything by herself, and had to have somebody even walk her home from class at 12:30 every day - usually her son. I felt sorry for him.

I find traveling without friends or a companion is too lonely. But I choose my traveling companions carefully;
no wimps
no whiners
no shop-til-you-drop mall rats
no picky eaters
no xenophobes

Hey, I certainly hope its not true! Me and my girlfriend have been out for around 3 and a half years, and we are (In feb) travelling around the world - unfortunately not Russia as it would be February!!!

The way I see it, the trip will either make or break us, so I guess we will have to wait and see. I think if your good enough freinds you should be OK, as loads of my mates have done it - sure, you may argue a bit but you should both be big enough to sort it out.

Andy

Traveling alone is boring and pointless. Who is going to hold that camera?

Spending 24 hours per day with someone can ruin a friendship, the fact that you happen to be travelling is incedental.

Originally Posted by scotcher

Spending 24 hours per day with someone can ruin a friendship, the fact that you happen to be travelling is incedental.

Fantastic Scotcher!!!!

Originally Posted by scotcher

Spending 24 hours per day with someone can ruin a friendship, the fact that you happen to be travelling is incedental.

wow we got great insights here

basically it all boils down to arguments.
You are having an argument and the persons invovled are not mature enough, you get a break up. simple as that.

as for the travelling, I think the fun and camaraderie you can reap out from a trip with friends far outweighs the negative outcomes. of course don't take mud footed oafs with you. take me.

Spending time with someone you love one makes the love grow stronger.

Spending time with someone you don't know, gives you time to find out whether you like them or not.

Spending time with someone you hate, well that is a different matter.

Originally Posted by Biancca

I know a lot of you people travel a lot, so here is the thing I was thinking about today...traveling kind of breeds dislike for others doesn't it?

For example my freind really liked this one chick so they went to England together and now he hates her. Hes married anyway though.

And last year I want to Paris with my mom. We normally get along marvelously BUT not in Paris. She planned a thousand things to do everyday but I wanted to sit somewhere and do sketches and talk to people.

So I am planning an eventual trip to Russian and I was thinking its better not to go with anyone I would like to remain friends with afterwards.

It's really hard for me to answer your question whether or not travelling with someone else breeds dislike. It depends who you travel with. I have never been abroad with someone who I know. I once flew to England with my sister but we parted as soon as we arrived at Heathrow because she was going to Bournemouth while I was going to Folkestone.

I went to a holiday center with my Dad last winter and we enjoyed ourselves very much at the time.

I've never travelled with my girlfriend so I can't say anything about whether travelling destoys your relationship.

Honestly, I have never heard that travelling can end up that way! I've read lots of articles devoted to trying to build up a new relationship when on vacation.

How about a song?

Если друг оказался вдруг
И не друг, и не враг, а так,
Если сразу не разберешь,
Плох он или хорош,-
Парня в горы тяни, рискни,
Не бросай одного его,
Пусть он в связке в одной с тобой -
Там поймешь, кто такой.

Если парень в горах - не ах,
Если сразу раскис и - вниз,
Шаг ступил на ледник и сник,
Оступился - и в крик,-
Значит, рядом с тобой - чужой,
Ты его не брани - гони,-
Вверх таких не берут, и тут
Про таких не поют.

Если ж он не скулил, не ныл,
Пусть он хмур был и зол, но шел,
А когда ты упал со скал,
Он стонал, но держал,
Если шел за тобой, как в бой,
На вершине стоял хмельной,-
Значит, как на себя самого,
Положись на него.

(Владимир Выс.цкий)

That's a good song! Do you think that Vys.tsky sings about relationships to do with travelling?

Not exactly. It's about friendship and finding out if it's real or not. And about a trip as well.

http://vv.nexus.org/vv/17/vv17_10.mp3