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Thread: Translate text of "Business offer to English"

  1. #1
    n8m
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    Translate text of "Business offer to English"

    Hi! Привет.

    I wrote text. Could you correct it, please?

    Hi!

    My name is Fyodor Khruschov. I'm manager of startup project «suitts me». SuittsMe allows you to decide if something suitts you by asking other people. How it works? Very easy. By pressing the button on the website with clothes, you can create the voting on our website and share it with friends on facebook, twitter and other social networks.

    It was briefly.

    In fact suitts me very strong tool to bring new customers to your website. Just imagine, it very easy for users just to click the button and share it. What will be shared: user photo, photo of buying stuff, referral link on website (!).

    Only one button on your site bring 1000 customers every day.

    Just answerif it interesting to you.

    Sincerely, Fyodor Khruschov
    Thank you, guys.
    correct me, please. I'm russian native speaker (can I say "I'm russian native"?). Skype: name-xru. ICQ: 227394254. Always glad to speak.

  2. #2
    zxc
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    Quote Originally Posted by n8m View Post
    Hi! Привет.

    Hello!

    My name is Fyodor Khruschov. I'm a/the manager of the startup project «Suitts Me». SuittsMe allows you to decide if something suits you by asking other people. How does it work? It's very simple. By pressing the button on the website with ??, you can create ???a poll??? on our website and share it with friends on facebook, twitter and other social networks.

    It was ???.

    In fact, "Suitts Me" is a very strong tool to bring new customers to your website. Just imagine, it is very easy for users to just click the button and share it. What will be shared: user photo, photo of purchased stuff, and the referral link of the website (!).

    Only one button on your site can bring thousands of customers every day.

    Please reply if it is interesting to you. ("Please reply if this interests you" or "Please reply if you find this interesting" sounds better.)

    Sincerely, Fyodor Khruschov
    I have made grammatical/spelling corrections in red, and stylistic suggestions in blue.

    In the beginning, pick one article or the other. If you're one of the managers (there are other managers), use "a", if you're the only manager, use "the".

    I replaced a few parts with question marks (???) because I'm not sure what you were trying to say there. The words you used did not make sense to me in that context.

  3. #3
    n8m
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    Thank you, zxc.

    Could you check, please, the last version of our text.

    Hi!

    We've found the way to increase your sales! But first things first.

    My name is Fyodor Khruschov. I'm a manager of the startup project Suitts.me. Our project allows you to decide if something suits you by asking other people. According american researchers in real life we are not shopping alone, instead taking friends with us to hear their advices and opinions. How does it work with Suitts.me? It's very simple. By pressing the special button on your website, everybody can create a poll on Suitts.me and share it with friends on facebook, twitter and other social networks.
    In fact, Suitts.me is a very strong tool to bring new customers to your website. Just imagine, it is very easy for users to just click the button and share it. Our service will increase your conversions and grow up mentions about your online shop in social medias. Only one button on your site can bring thousands of customers every day.

    We've just started, that's why we offer you to be our partner for free. Please reply if you find this interesting

    Sincerely, Fyodor, manager at Suitts.me
    correct me, please. I'm russian native speaker (can I say "I'm russian native"?). Skype: name-xru. ICQ: 227394254. Always glad to speak.

  4. #4
    Завсегдатай chaika's Avatar
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    Hi!

    We've found a way to increase your sales! But first things first.

    My name is Fyodor Khruschov. I'm a manager of the startup project Suitts.me. Our project allows you to decide if something suits you by asking other people. According to American researchers, in real life we do not shop alone, instead we take friends with us to hear their advice_ and opinions. How does it work with Suitts.me? It's very simple. By pressing a special button on your website, everybody can create a poll on Suitts.me and share it with friends on Facebook, twitter and other social networks.
    In fact, Suitts.me is a very strong tool to bring new customers to your website. Just imagine, it is very easy for users to just click the button and share it. Our service will increase your conversions and increase mention of your online shop in social media_. Only one button on your site can bring thousands of customers every day.

    We've just started, which is why we offer you to be our partner for free. Please reply if you are interested.

    Sincerely, Fyodor, manager at Suitts.me

  5. #5
    n8m
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    chaika, thank you again.
    What could you say about sales features of this text? Does it interesting?
    correct me, please. I'm russian native speaker (can I say "I'm russian native"?). Skype: name-xru. ICQ: 227394254. Always glad to speak.

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