Avoid using passive voice. Switch to EnglishSeemingly, he was understood and the man’s answer sounded pretty much like ‘Nikolai’.
Apparently, the man understood him. His answer sounded pretty much like 'Nikolai'.
old scratched plate.Meanwhile the man laid an old plate all covered in scratches
Hmm, I don't want to sound overly critical, but a bit of more detailed description of what's been in the house might be in order, don't you think?
Details, man! They distinguish a good fiction from trash. He was at the evening party in his house, remember? Or it was in the morning? Did he wander in the forest for a whole day? He must be very tired and sleepy by now, young body or not.Peter took his seat and started quickly gobbling the food up as he hadn’t had any meal since morning.
The soup looked, smelled and tasted unfamiliar. And you CAN'T eat dish! A dish is not food, it's a big plateThe soup didn’t look, neither smell or taste familiar, which was weird, because Peter in his old life had tried almost every single dish that had ever existed in the world
where thearrangershosts were constantly trying to surprise their guestsHe already started since he knew how it tasted.so Peterstartedcontinued to eat without hesitation.
Perfect timing, heh? Did they wait by the doorJust when Peter finished the meal, the door opened and the old woman came in, followed by another woman.
Yawn... how predictable.they both froze as their eyes met
I don't think 'gorgeous' is a right word for a simple rural beauty. It's more fit for an urban hi-class prostitute.she looked gorgeous
The correct answer should have been 'Soviet Union'. And even if otherwise, it was Belorussia, not Belarus.- Where am I? – he held his breath, deep inside ready for an answer that he’s in heaven…or in hell.
- You are in Belarus, about 70 miles due North from Minsk – she said with a slight accent.
1) There was no US embassies in Belarus. A consulate maybe. The embassy is (and was) in Moscow.
2) The first thing the old man should do seeing a naked unfamiliar foreigner is to bring an NKVD officer, not a pretty girl who just happen to speak English in that village. Not many people new foreign languages, certainly very few in Belarussian villages and the most popular language was German, not English.
3) Even if these people were all crazy natural curiosity would have made them to ask questions first, not providing answers to a potential spy.
Why did she decide that he was American? Back in that time an English speaking person would sooner be associated with UK, not USA.- It’s late now, you better get some sleep and tomorrow we will try to help you get to the USA embassy in Minsk, I think Mr.Roosevelt will help you out. – Ann smiled.
There,almost unseenin the darkness of the sky whichwas only beginning to lightenhad only started lightening in the rays of the raising Sun,were flowingthey saw numerous silhouettes of airplanes,sometimes invisible, sometimes showing in the gaps betweendisappearing and appearing again in the clouds.I don't quite understand the bold part. Do you mean 'judging by his own and his wife's appearances'?He half-filled the glasses with the liquid from the bottle and said something that could be interpreted like ‘here, drink, you may need it’, given his own and his wife’s appearance.
When Peter finallyfoughtsubdued the liquid and opened his running eyes he saw the old man handing him a piece of bread.What did Peter do? You said 'they all were'.The man and the woman couldn’t sleep either, so the whole morning they all were just trying to keep their hands busy doing something. However everything they were doing didn’t seem either necessary or important, apparently they were just trying to distract themselves from what was actually happening.
A general knowledge says that it's BEEN quiet and very few actually expected anything.It hasn’t been calm at the border for a month or so and everyone was expecting something to happen
Peter felt like he wanted to give her a hug and try to calm her down but herefrainedrestrained himself (no comma) because it might lookawkwardunappropriate.(issue's too official here)He briefly ran through the headlines and suddenly something caught his eye.ThatIt was the dateof the issue. June 12 , 1941.
Was? or Wasn't?- What day is it today? – he asked Ann hoping that he wasn’t dreaming.
... hoping it was a dream.
P.S. A realistic finale for a foreigner with no documents at war-time is - arrest, interrogation, and execution - everything within a week.Still, I'm very curious what will happen next.