If you are that good at writing in English, your writing in Russian must be outstanding! Do you write for a living?

I am not going to attempt to critique it; although my English qualifies as native standard, it's not technically my mother tongue. Litererary critique is outside of my comfort zone. Together with poetry it's the final barrier in language acquisition, isn't it?

There were a few adjectives and nouns where I think you did not pick quite the right one - a few of the words felt a bit "off". Likewise some verb tenses, particularly in the past tense which I think can be tricky from a Russian perspective. But native speakers are extremely sloppy when writing, so the fact that it's not perfect almost makes it feel more authentic. Other than lawyers, English people treat language in a very cavalier fashion.

However I can't put my finger on any of this, and I'll leave to born and bred native speakers to comment... . I'm going to check back to see their feedback!

You really are EXTREMELY good at English. If you never lived in an English speaking country, then it's an amazing accomplishment. Translationsnmru is the other Russian person who writes perfect English that appears native, in fact better than how most native speakers write.