# Forum Other Languages All other languages Japanese  Is this polite?

## laxxy

I wonder, is it OK to say smth like 遅れちゃった  instead of 遅れてしまった in polite speech? Does it sound feminine?
e.g. 
 誕生日パーティに遅れちゃったけど来ないよりはいいでしょ？
(off alc.co.jp)

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## mayanfisa

> I wonder, is it OK to say smth like 遅れちゃった  instead of 遅れてしまった in polite speech? Does it sound feminine?
> e.g. 
>  誕生日パーティに遅れちゃったけど来ないよりはいいでしょ？
> (off alc.co.jp)

 friendly. but i think its okay if u r b-day partying with your close friends, but if u got to give a speech in a serious place thats kinda funny. maybe sounds humorous. 
polite way
誕生日パーティに遅れちゃったけど、来ないよりはいいですよね？ 
but i think the speech is funny anyway

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## laxxy

どうもありがとう。

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## MOG

I don’t think you should use ～しちゃった in polite speech. It has a shade of currying sb’s favor and may sound feminine, but not so much, males often use it, too. Rather, I think it sounds childish to some extent.
A man would say
遅れたけど来ないよりましだろ(う)？
If polite
遅れてしまいましたが、来ないよりはいいですよね？
But I want to argue that besides excusing, saying 来ないよりいい sounds arrogant if not rude. If you’re in a formal situation, you should excuse for being late anyway.
遅れて（しまって）申し訳ありません〔すみません〕。
Though it depends. I can't speak of others.  ::

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## laxxy

> I don’t think you should use ～しちゃった in polite speech. It has a shade of currying sb’s favor and may sound feminine, but not so much, males often use it, too. Rather, I think it sounds childish to some extent.
> A man would say
> 遅れたけど来ないよりましだろ(う)？
> If polite
> 遅れてしまいましたが、来ないよりはいいですよね？
> But I want to argue that besides excusing, saying 来ないよりいい sounds arrogant if not rude. If you’re in a formal situation, you should excuse for being late anyway.
> 遅れて（しまって）申し訳ありません〔すみません〕。
> Though it depends. I can't speak of others.

 Thanks. Yes, naturally, that example is not too polite to start with, if one thinks about the meaning  ::  My question was mostly just about ～ちゃった vs. ～てしまった.

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