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Three f*** characters

(At least three damned characters!!!)

How should I markup corrections?

The previous variant was translated much better.

The verb переспать has multiple meanings:
1) oversleep (sleep longer than one intended)
2) sleep over (spend the night at a place other than one's own home)
3) have sex (sleep with someone)

*1 The word «мужчина» means ‘male human’. I think it doesn't matter in this tale if the human is male or female, so it's better to use the word «человек» ‘human’.

*2 It's a bit weird to say «вы»...