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I think by mythical you meant mystical...It makes more sense here (I'm not patronizing you - but just in case it was one of those gravitate/levitate things :) )

oh! oh! I came up with a variation to "does your arse fit ya?" (yes, I've got some time on my hands) But mine doesn't really make sense in Russian, so..

да знаю рас вид, VM? = "Doesn't your a$$...