Thread: Boy with the bruised eye

Originally Posted by kgcole

I wouldn’t break that up into two sentences. It flows, and is more to the point and tense of the narration by saying “I was sitting at my desk playing.” The sentence “I played a game” denotes finality to the action, and destroys the tone of narrating an action that was not yet complete.

I understand your explanation on “I was sitting at my desk playing” and completely agree. “Playing” here is not a part of the predicate as it was in my version, it’s participle. No questions. I was just wondering about the tense of the verb “to play”. Though I am certain now that if we didn’t mention that the boy was sitting, you would say, “I was playing a game on my phone”. Am I right?

Originally Posted by kgcole

Yes, I’m certain that is correct. But it could also be stated as “I had a fight with Peter today”. You could also say “I have fought with Peter today”, but again it’s a matter of fluency. Saying things correctly in a short form denotes fluency and flows. Are you familiar with contractions? One could say “I cannot go to the movie with you”, and it would be correct, but it’s strict and unnecessary. It’s more conversational and fluent to say “I can’t go to the movie with you”. The former is considered haughty, and strict, the latter as comfortable and fluid.

Aren’t “I’ve fought” or “I’ve done” or “I’ve met” almost that short? Why don’t you use them in that sentense if they make sense”?

Originally Posted by kgcole

I’d say “…distorted in the person’s mind…” and not “….curved in the person’s mind”.

Distorted? No. I meant that I would remember your correction, that I would keep the correct version in my mind.

Originally Posted by Helenej

I understand your explanation on “I was sitting at my desk playing” and completely agree. “Playing” here is not a part of the predicate as it was in my version, it’s participle. No questions. I was just wondering about the tense of the verb “to play”. Though I am certain now that if we didn’t mention that the boy was sitting, you would say, “I was playing a game on my phone”. Am I right?

That's correct..."I was playing a game on my phone".


Aren’t “I’ve fought” or “I’ve done” or “I’ve met” almost that short? Why don’t you use them in that sentense if they make sense”?

Well, "I've" would be the same as saying "I have fought", so to contract that wouldn't change the tone. But to omit "have" and simply use the past tense "fought" conveys the meaning without the formality of "I have fought". It's a matter of tone here, Lena. To say "I have fought" is very pretentious and exact. Very formal. Another example would be what I wrote as "I cannot go to the movie with you". To say it that way makes one's words very insistent, incontrovertible, or resolute. But in this case there is no other form to use to convey the negative...short and conversational would be "I can't go to the movie with you". Can you see the difference in tone? The latter almost leaves room to be persuaded...the former is insistent that the decision can't be changed.

Distorted? No. I meant that I would remember your correction, that I would keep the correct version in my mind.

Ah, I missed that last part of your sentence. Yes, I would use the word "set". It "sets in in your memory".