Thread: Please, help me with a translation

Scientific texts are nightmare, please check my translation. Is it understandable at least?

The original:

Нефтяное загрязнение отличается от других неблагоприятных антропогенных воздействий тем, что оно, как правило, дает “залповую” нагрузку на среду и вызывает быструю ответную реакцию. При прогнозе последствий такого загрязнения не всегда можно сделать однозначные выводы о возможности возврата экосистемы в ее, пусть не первоначальное, но близкое к нему устойчивое состояние без применения дополнительных мер.

My translation:

Oil pollution differs from other negative anthropogenic effects by the fact that it usually delivers immediate impact on environment and causes a rapid response. Prediction of consequences of such kind of pollution cannot guarantee an unambiguous forecast about chances of returning the ecosystem to a condition, though not initial, but a close, stable one without exercising of additional efforts.

Edit: Made some improvements

Originally Posted by Ramil

Scientific texts are nightmare, please check my translation. Is it understandable at least?

The original:

Нефтяное загрязнение отличается от других неблагоприятных антропогенных воздействий тем, что оно, как правило, дает “залповую” нагрузку на среду и вызывает быструю ответную реакцию. При прогнозе последствий такого загрязнения не всегда можно сделать однозначные выводы о возможности возврата экосистемы в ее, пусть не первоначальное, но близкое к нему устойчивое состояние без применения дополнительных мер.

My translation:

Oil pollution differs from other negative man-made effects by the fact that it usually causes an immediate impact on the environment and evokes [cause is fine, but I chose that word for the previous sub-sentence] a rapid response. Predictions of the consequences of that kind of pollution cannot guarantee a clear indication about the chances of returning the ecosystem to a condition, though not the initial, but a close, stable one without exercising of additional efforts.

Edit: Made some improvements

Nice try, but still very complicated. I'd split it up into a few more sentences, but to keep it scientificky I just edited some words

Originally Posted by kalinka_vinnie

Originally Posted by Ramil

Scientific texts are nightmare, please check my translation. Is it understandable at least?

The original:

Нефтяное загрязнение отличается от других неблагоприятных антропогенных воздействий тем, что оно, как правило, дает “залповую” нагрузку на среду и вызывает быструю ответную реакцию. При прогнозе последствий такого загрязнения не всегда можно сделать однозначные выводы о возможности возврата экосистемы в ее, пусть не первоначальное, но близкое к нему устойчивое состояние без применения дополнительных мер.

My translation:

Oil pollution differs from other negative man-made effects by the fact that it usually causes an immediate impact on the environment and evokes [cause is fine, but I chose that word for the previous sub-sentence] a rapid response. Predictions of the consequences of that kind of pollution cannot guarantee a clear indication about the chances of returning the ecosystem to a condition, though not the initial, but a close, stable one without exercising of additional efforts.

Edit: Made some improvements

Nice try, but still very complicated. I'd split it up into a few more sentences, but to keep it scientificky I just edited some words

What a splendid fellow you are. And what a nice word - scientificky - I'll try to remember it

As far as I know this sort of authors, I think that the more complicated the text the more fun they get while reading through it The difficulty is to choose should you translate it as complicated as it is in the original or try to make it more understandable. This is a part I hate the most.

Yes, well the ultimate choice comes down to the goal of your translation: Why the Taliban are you translating it? If it is for a scientific journal, you're a.o.k., but if it is to a kinder-garden audience, a little simplifications might be in order. Try including words like 'goo-goo' and 'poop'.

Originally Posted by kalinka_vinnie

Yes, well the ultimate choice comes down to the goal of your translation: Why the Taliban are you translating it? If it is for a scientific journal, you're a.o.k., but if it is to a kinder-garden audience, a little simplifications might be in order. Try including words like 'goo-goo' and 'poop'.

I've been asked by a friend of mine to translate this cr@p into English for his father who prepares a scientific report for some conference in Brazil. Had this been a paid work I wouldn't even bother, but I don't want to fail my friend.

Originally Posted by Ramil

Originally Posted by kalinka_vinnie

Yes, well the ultimate choice comes down to the goal of your translation: Why the Taliban are you translating it? If it is for a scientific journal, you're a.o.k., but if it is to a kinder-garden audience, a little simplifications might be in order. Try including words like 'goo-goo' and 'poop'.

I've been asked by a friend of mine to translate this cr@p into English for his father who prepares a scientific report for some conference in Brazil. Had this been _ paid work I wouldn't even bother, but I don't want to fail my friend.

In that case, keep it scientificky! (But keep the edited words I put in, it makes it clearer for laymen like me, no need to be pretentious you know!)

>Predictions of the consequences of that kind of pollution cannot guarantee a clear indication about the chances of returning the ecosystem to a condition, though not the initial, but a close, stable one without exercising of additional efforts.

No, no, kalinka! You get paid by the source wordcount, not the target wordcount!

-->

In projecting the consequences of these oil spills, we sometimes find that substantial additional efforts are required if the ecosystem is to return to anything close its former state.

Waiting for the Sea of Azov to clear, are we?

I see! Then maybe this is an acceptable variant:

The possibility of returning the ecosystem to as close to its initial state as possible without substantial efforts cannot be adequately determined.

Originally Posted by kalinka_vinnie

I see! Then maybe this is an acceptable variant:

The possibility of returning the ecosystem to as close to its initial state as possible without substantial efforts cannot be adequately determined.

This is good but I cannot translate the whole text so eloquently. For one, my knowledge of microbiology is even less than my knowledge of the Chinese language, and for two - my grip on English is not so strong as I sometimes think. Asking a native always teaches you humility.

Here's my shot at a cleaner version:


Oil pollution differs from other negative anthropogenic (I think this word is perfectly fine, btw) effects by the fact that it usually creates an immediate impact on the environment and causes rapid change. There is no clear indication from predicted consequences that the ecosystem will be able to revert to previous conditions, or even a close approximation, without additional efforts.


I still don't like how that second sentence comes out, but it keeps with the sort of vocabulary you were using. An environmental scientist could find you some better words to use.

Originally Posted by Ramil

Originally Posted by kalinka_vinnie

Yes, well the ultimate choice comes down to the goal of your translation: Why the Taliban are you translating it? If it is for a scientific journal, you're a.o.k., but if it is to a kinder-garden audience, a little simplifications might be in order. Try including words like 'goo-goo' and 'poop'.

I've been asked by a friend of mine to translate this cr@p into English for his father who prepares a scientific report for some conference in Brazil. Had this been a paid work I wouldn't even bother, but I don't want to fail my friend.

if its in brazil.. why is it in english? wouldnt it be portuguese? And if that is better, i could translate it to portuguese for you!!! (i charge 20 dollars a word... )

Originally Posted by giovanni

Originally Posted by Ramil

Originally Posted by kalinka_vinnie

Yes, well the ultimate choice comes down to the goal of your translation: Why the Taliban are you translating it? If it is for a scientific journal, you're a.o.k., but if it is to a kinder-garden audience, a little simplifications might be in order. Try including words like 'goo-goo' and 'poop'.

I've been asked by a friend of mine to translate this cr@p into English for his father who prepares a scientific report for some conference in Brazil. Had this been a paid work I wouldn't even bother, but I don't want to fail my friend.

if its in brazil.. why is it in english? wouldnt it be portuguese? And if that is better, i could translate it to portuguese for you!!! (i charge 20 dollars a word... )

I really don't know, but the conference is international so it makes sense after all. Besides, as it turned out it will take place not in Brazil but in Venezuela

Ok, in that case I'll translate it to Spanish for you for 1000 euros a word (dollars is too weak nowadays)

Originally Posted by kalinka_vinnie

Ok, in that case I'll translate it to Spanish for you for 1000 euros a word (dollars is too weak nowadays)

for 1000 euros a word I would have translated it even into Old Shumerian.