i'm trying to write text on english

I'm going to write texts on english and if anyone will be check them this will be super!
Please check story for mistake.

First of all.

Quote:

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Old love.
She shut the door and picked up the telephone. She called your former boyfriend she part with half year ago. She couldn’t forget him now. This was a beautiful woman with big blue eyes and dark hair. The man who she called was Tom. After short time she heard.
- Hello!
- Hello Tom. This is Alice. How are you?
- Oh, Alice. I’m nice, are you?
- Thanks, good. I have thought of you. May I invite you to restaurant.
- Sure. When do you want?
- May be today?
- Fine

After she had been talking with him she felt good herself. She shone and your eyes flashed. She put on best dress she had. She hadn’t expected he agreed. The watch showed five o’clock. They should will meet at seven. In one hour she was ready.

She walk down the steps and opened the entrance door. It was surprise for her that there was Tom with huge bunch of flowers. She felt herself most happy.

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Here are my suggested corrections:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by bbfee

Old love.
She shut the door and picked up the telephone. She called [s:jha38w87]your[/s:jha38w87] her former boyfriend from whom she had parted [s:jha38w87]with[/s:jha38w87] a half year ago. She couldn’t forget him now. [s:jha38w87]This[/s:jha38w87] She was a beautiful woman with big blue eyes and dark hair. The man who she called was Tom. After a short time she heard:
- Hello!
- Hello Tom. This is Alice. How are you?
- Oh, Alice. I’m nice, how are you?
- Thanks, good. I have thought of you. May I invite you to a restaurant.
- Sure. When do you want?
- Maybe today?
- Fine

After she had been talking with him she felt good [s:jha38w87]herself[/s:jha38w87]. She shone and [s:jha38w87]your[/s:jha38w87] her eyes flashed. She put on the best dress she had. She hadn’t expected that he would agree[s:jha38w87]d[/s:jha38w87]. [s:jha38w87]The[/s:jha38w87] Her watch showed five o’clock. They [s:jha38w87]sh[/s:jha38w87]would [s:jha38w87]will[/s:jha38w87] meet at seven. In one hour she was ready.

She walked down the steps and opened the entrance door. It was a surprise for her that there was Tom with a huge bunch of flowers. She felt [s:jha38w87]herself most[/s:jha38w87] very happy.

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Also, you try writing texts IN English, not on English. :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ken Watts

Here are my suggested corrections:

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Thank you. several mistakes was errata, but several corrections will help me to write in English more correctly in the future. I will continue later.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by bbfee

Several mistakes [s:2vc1o5fx]was[/s:2vc1o5fx] were errata typos

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