Thread: i need your help

could you please correct this text .

i have to admit that i became addicted to WoW. i can't resist a temptation to play even when i'd better do something else. I had already played about 4 month on one of the us servers when european version of wow came out. And I couldn't help starting new char there. i wasn't really going to play there just wanted to take a look what it would be like. but the longer i played the harder it became to give it up and conentrate on my main char. but i think ill eventually do it because it appeared i don't like playing on europe as much as on the us. here are some pictures of my mighty shaman

WoW = World of Warcraft (a video game)

I have to admit that I became addicted to WoW. I can't resist the temptation to play even when I'd better do something else. I had already played about 4 months on one of the us servers when a european version of wow came out and I couldn't help starting a new char there. I wasn't really going to play there, just wanted to take a look at what it would be like. But the longer I played, the harder it became to give it up and concentrate on my main char. But I think I'll eventually do it because it appeared I don't like playing on the european one, as much as on the american. Here are some pictures of my mighty shaman.

Может быть...

Но хорошо!

Here is my try.

I have to admit that I became addicted to WoW. I can't resist the temptation to play even if I'd be better off doing something else. I already had been playing about 4 months on one of the US servers when a European version of WoW came out. I couldn't help starting a new char there. I really wasn't going to play there and I just wanted to see what it would be like. But the longer I played, the harder it became to give it up and concentrate on my main char. I think I'll eventually give up on the European version, since I like the American version better. Here are some pictures of my mighty shaman.

The word "char" sounds strange to me. Maybe it is better to say "character".

I have to admit that I became addicted to WoW.

Did you develop an addiction for it, and then stop? Or are you still addicted? In the case of the latter, you should say:

I have to admit that I have become addicted to WoW.

I can't resist the temptation to play even when I'd better do something else.

I can't resist the temptation to play even when I should be doing something else.

I had already played about 4 months on one of the us servers when a european version of wow came out and I couldn't help starting a new char there.

I had already played for about 4 months on one of the US servers, when a European version of WoW came out. I couldn't help starting a new char there.

But I think I'll eventually do it because it appeared I don't like playing on the european one, as much as on the american.

But I think I eventually will because it seems I don't like playing on the European one as much as I do on the American one.

The word "char" sounds strange to me. Maybe it is better to say "character".

"char" is acceptable lingo among MMORPG heads.

Originally Posted by Pravit

But I think I'll eventually do it because it appeared I don't like playing on the european one, as much as on the american.

But I think I eventually will because it seems I don't like playing on the European one as much as I do on the American one.

Aside from being long and clumsy, these sentences still sound very strange to me.
". . . I'll eventually do it because . . ." Do What?
". . . I eventually will because . . ." Will What?

i have to admit that i became addicted to WoW.


i can't resist a temptation to play even when i'd better do something else. I had already played about 4 month on one of the us servers when european version of wow came out. And I couldn't help starting new char there. i wasn't really going to play there just wanted to take a look what it would be like. but the longer i played the harder it became to give it up and conentrate on my main char. but i think ill eventually do it because it appeared i don't like playing on europe as much as on the us. here are some pictures of my mighty shaman

WoW = World of Warcraft (a video
I'll have to admit...I have become very addicted to the W.O.W. I just can't resist the temptation to play, even when I know I
should be doing something else. The fact is, I had already been playing for about 4 months on one of the US servers when the European version of the W.O.W. game came out. I couldn't help but to start a new character there. I wasn't even going there to play, really, ...I just wanted to take a look at what it would be like. But, and I did play; and the longer I
played...the harder it became to give it up and to concentrate on my main character, (insert character name here). I *think* that I will eventually get back to working on (insert character name here), because as it turns out, I don't seem to like playing on the European server nearly so much as on the US one. Here are some photos of my mighty shaman---> www.myshamanrocks.com (not a real link of course)[/u]

shrugs...my go at it..English Native 31 years *ducks and runs from the phds* "but in 1980 the usage of and and but and commas was...! (Whines) but then...around 1986 we stopped using the flamboyant commas and frowned upon the usage of and's and but's, which did not but take away the emote and emotion from the writing" --True Story. Russia has it's similar nuiances, right? Usages common in some circles, forgotten in the mainstream. I'm always for creative writing and that's what it seemed you were doing.

At the very least you have many options for how you want to convey your paragraph, with what pause, excitement, sincerity, frustration, ect. But it looks great. Your message is already conveyed clearly except for the capitalization of mainly (I) and the first words of your sentences. Month should be a plural months because of the quantity. It is only the singular Month when referring to 1 or such as the month of Jan, the month of Feb. ect. There is commonly a comma, before the word 'because'- It's just an old rule formerly/and sometimes taught (It was taught in CA, but in WA appears to be more unimportant-regional) whose meaning, I believe is lost, but was in the past meant to show pause and perhaps idea change but not yet a stop as in the end of the sentence. I'm curious if this is a personal letter or a journal or a work of fiction. The elipses (...) are commonly used in creative or personal correspondence (though maybe not 'professional') to show extensive pause as in thinking. They are not neccessary...but, I've found that they convey to the reader a precision, and because in real life I stutter and struggle with ...explaining my thoughts in speech, I feel it's ok to do this. This is a language forum..so by no means take my word for it, rather listen to what the mods and long time posters and students of English have to say. I'll toss in my 2 cents of what I know unless it is deemed inappropriate. For the most part.. I hope to be in hiding learning about Russian! My English punctuation is not always very good as the rules have changed now a couple of times over the years.

". . . I'll eventually do it because . . ." Do What?
". . . I eventually will because . . ." Will What?

Originally Posted by Ustas

give it up and conentrate on my main char

Originally Posted by Pravit

". . . I'll eventually do it because . . ." Do What?
". . . I eventually will because . . ." Will What?

Originally Posted by Ustas

give it up and conentrate on my main char

Yes, of course. I can figure that out from the context.
But without context, it is difficult to understand. So I think it would be better if you actually insert what will be done in the sentence.

. . . I eventually will give up on the European version, because . . .

Also,
". . . it appeared I don't like playing on the european one, as much as on the american."
is just too wordy.

That is why I came up with the following:
I think I'll eventually give up on the European version, since I like the American version better.

I am too tired right now to read Rosa Anna's post. But I will read it as soon as I can.

When refering to the US, it is impotant to use capital letters - US. As, it looks like the word 'us' (as in 'we') when in small letters. And, capital letters are the correct way to spell a place- Europe.
I don't know the word 'char', but if it's true that it means character in game-play terminology, then that's fine.

That's all I can correct, because I don't know what the stuff is about. Sometimes you used the word on which sounded incorrect. But, maybe it makes sense in relation to the subject.
eg. I don't like playing on Europe as much as on the US.
If it means on a European/American computer 'setting' for the game, then it's correct. But, in general conversation you'd say in Europe and in the US.

thank you all for helping me and correcting my texts.

this is the best forum I've seen so far.
I really think it is very useful and interesting especially for those who try to learn a language on their own as I do.

I'm curious if this is a personal letter or a journal or a work of fiction.

it was written for my livejournal(http://www.livejournal.com/users/provinchial/)
Im just trying to write in English as much as possible
I hope that writing will help me improve my English

Don't bugger him so much about capitalization; most people who choose to write in that manner do so knowing that words should be capitalized and so on.

Yes, of course. I can figure that out from the context.
But without context, it is difficult to understand

Ja, but your context is in the preceding sentence, so it ends up sounding a bit repetitive:

I wanted to buy a new car. But I don't think I'll buy a new car, because I don't have enough money.

Originally Posted by Pravit

I wanted to buy a new car. But I don't think I'll buy a new car, because I don't have enough money.

Good example. It does sound redundant without context.

My old car keeps breaking down. I wanted to buy a new car. But I don't think I'll buy a new car, because I don't have enough money. So I am looking around for a nice used one.

It is probably just a matter of style or taste or context or something. I dont know. I still like my version.

Anyway, I still haven't read Rosa Anna's post. I am still too tired.