Help me, please!!!

On reading jokes I came across some, which I couldn't comprehend :cry:
Can anyone help me figure it out?

-------------------------1---------------------------------
What do you call a girl with one arm and one leg?...EILENE.
What do you call her if you're Japanese?...IRENE.
What do you call an Irish man w/ no arms and no legs and bouncing around
the room?...Rick O" Shea.
-------------------------2--------------------------------------------
These two guys walked into a bar... you think the second guy would've
ducked!!
-------------------------3------------------------------------
Knock knock. Who's there?
Jupiter. Jupiter who?
Jupiter hurry or you'll be late for school.
------------------------4-----------------------------------
Man: My wife's leaving for the West Indies.
Friend: Jamaica?
Man: No. It was her own idea.
-----------------------------------------------------------
I would be grateful for any help!
Thank in advance! :) :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Chuvak

On reading jokes I came across some, which I couldn't comprehend :cry:
Can anyone help me figure it out?

-------------------------1---------------------------------
What do you call a girl with one arm and one leg?...EILENE.
What do you call her if you're Japanese?...IRENE.
What do you call an Irish man w/ no arms and no legs and bouncing around
the room?...Rick O" Shea.
-------------------------2--------------------------------------------
These two guys walked into a bar... you think the second guy would've
ducked!!
-------------------------3------------------------------------
Knock knock. Who's there?
Jupiter. Jupiter who?
Jupiter hurry or you'll be late for school.
------------------------4-----------------------------------
Man: My wife's leaving for the West Indies.
Friend: Jamaica?
Man: No. It was her own idea.
-----------------------------------------------------------
I would be grateful for any help!
Thank in advance! :) :)

---

1) EILENE is a name that rhymes with I LEAN
EIRENE is with the Japanese defect of using R where L shoud be (EIRENE is also a name)
Rick O Shea rhymes with ricochet

2) walk in to the bar could also mean hit the bar with your body. "To walk in to the lightpole" to hit it.

3) Didn't get it

4) Jamaica could sound like D'ya make her? (did you make her [do it])

:lol:

Jupiter rhymes with "you better"

You better hurry or you'll be late for school

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Chuvak

-------------------------3------------------------------------
Knock knock. Who's there?
Jupiter. Jupiter who?
Jupiter hurry or you'll be late for school.

---

A: Knock knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Jupiter
B: Jupiter who?
A: Jupiter (you better) hurry or you'll be late for school.

In the context of the joke, "Jupiter" sounds like "You better".
But in real life, it doesn't. This joke is very lame. :?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Chuvak

-------------------------2--------------------------------------------
These two guys walked into a bar... you think the second guy would've
ducked!!

---

Hilarious. :D
It sounds like the start of a joke about two guys walking into a tavern, but the joke is actually a pun on the word "bar".

Nickles worth of free adivce, never repeat these in public.

tdk

Quote:

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Originally Posted by tdk2fe

Nickles worth of free adivce, never repeat these in public.

tdk

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Amen to that. And just to clarify, a couple of you guys said that they "rhyme" with other words. You clearly got the lame humor, but they don't rhyme, they just sound like other words (homophonic phases, perhaps, is the technical term?). I think someone posted some similar puns on these boards earlier -- both Russian and English ones using people's names -- classics like "Quit Stalin [that is "stalling"] and get back to work!"

And just to give you a similar quality joke, for no other reason than I feel like listing it here...
-Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
-It was dead.

-Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
-It was tied to the first monkey.

-Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
-Because all the other monkies were doing it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by basurero

Jupiter rhymes with "you better"

You better hurry or you'll be late for school

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Of all lame jokes in the world, this one has no legs.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by kalinka_vinnie

Quote:

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Originally Posted by basurero

Jupiter rhymes with "you better"

You better hurry or you'll be late for school

---

Of all lame jokes in the world, this one has no legs.

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Oh yeah? Well you Jupiter not put down that joke!
/I should be shot for that.