Thread: Анекдоты, шутки, шуточные стишки, истории - смешные или не очень

В штате Айова все хорошо. А жаль! Какая могла бы получиться рифма...

In the time of USSR there was a joke on the subject,

- "Догоняем штат Айова", "Как дела идут?"
- "..."

Military Rules of Combat

• If the enemy is in range, so are you.
• Incoming fire has the right of way.
• Don't look conspicuous: it draws fire.
• There is always a way.
• The easy way is always mined.
• Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.
• Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous.
• The enemy invariably attacks on one of two occasions: When you're ready for them and when you're not ready for them.
• Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy someone else to shoot at.
• If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed at you.
• If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.
• Don't draw fire, it irritates the people around you.
• The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
• When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.
• When in doubt empty the magazine.
• Never share a fox hole with anyone braver than you.
• Anything you do can get you shot. Including doing nothing.
• Make it too tough for the enemy to get in and you can't get out.
• Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
• A Purple Heart just proves that you were smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.
• Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
• The quartermaster has only two sizes: too large and too small.
• Five second fuses only last three seconds.
• It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.
• The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack.
• A "sucking chest wound" is nature's way of telling you to slow down.
• If you're short of everything but the enemy, you're in a combat zone.
• When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.
• Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder.
• If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid.