Don’t eat pork. I’m sorry, what was that last one? Don’t eat pork? Is that the word of God, or is that pigs trying to outsmart everybody?
Jon Stewart discussing how different schools of Judaism deal with homosexuality:

ORTHODOX: Homosexuality is an extremely serious sin and a violation of G-d's law.
CONSERVATIVE: Homosexuality is an extremely serious sin, but -- oh, what a gift they've been to Broadway!!!
REFORM: Homosexuality is something that happened this one time in college.