Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not commit adultery. Don’t eat pork. I’m sorry, what was that last one? Don’t eat pork? Is that the word of God, or is that pigs trying to outsmart everybody?

If America leads a blessed life, then why did God put all of our oil under people who hate us?

We called her Mother Earth… because she gave birth to us, and then we sucked her dry.

If you don’t stick to your values when they’re being tested, they’re not values: they’re hobbies.

More than 150 heads of state attended the UN Summit, giving New Yorkers a chance to get in touch with prejudices they didn’t even know they had.

It’s as if a guy drove me into a ditch and said, ‘Don’t worry, I know how to drive us out of this.’

If “con” is the opposite of pro, then isn’t Congress the opposite of progress?